JOY - A Gift of God

Laughter - Best medicine and therapy

2011-12-08T15:53:00.001+10:00

Enjoy the sweet sounds of baby Esther's laughter :)

I rolled over

2011-11-15T11:49:00.001+10:00

Caught Esther doing her roll overs

Esther in her new cot

2011-10-24T11:53:00.000+10:00

Esther finally got to enjoy her own cot.

And she loves the cot mobile that daddy bought for her :)

Esther saying "Hello" to all

2011-10-20T20:22:00.000+10:00

Esther's beautiful Smile

2011-10-11T21:20:00.002+10:00

This is our beautiful daughter and her lovely smile.

A Beautiful Miracle

2011-08-14T12:35:00.004+10:00

Can't believe that 9 months of carrying the little one in me is over, and the birth of a beautiful miracle from God has arrived into this world on 6th August 2011, 1134hr. When I look at my beautiful baby (Baby Esther), I'm so thrilled and amazed at this wonderful creation of God. Tiredness and fear are overwhelmed by this amazing miracle of God......and I can't thank God enough that He's covered over baby, myself and my husband through this whole period.

Here are some pictures of Baby Esther, and hopefully, will post up more updates of what God is doing in my life as my husband and myself go through this transition stage of becoming parents. In my heart, I'm so determined to bring the best to my Esther, and prayerfully trusting God to give me the strength and grace to be fully committed all the way. I know that with God, we are in good hands.

Enjoy :)

Leading of the Holy Spirit

2010-04-17T08:11:00.002+10:00

How many times do we stop in a day to hear the voice of the spirit?
How often when we hear or are prompted by the Holy Spirit that we stop and obey?
How many times we fear that we have heard wrongly
Maybe it's myself, or is this really from God?
How many..........
How to..........
How is it possible .........???
Questions upon questions, and many a times, still questions, rather than answers.

I realise that I've ignored God's voice at times, without realising, until much later - and it's all because of all these above questions, and "self-rationalisation". In the recent organising of Oceania Convention, I thank God for teaching me this lesson to be led by His Spirit. And it is really by His grace and strength that I have chosen to let go, and let the Spirit guide. On 2 occasions, I have learned to let the Spirit direct.

Firstly, it was a strong prompting, since the start of the year, to remember to put God as the centre of the event and the organising aspect. I was quite caught up with tasks to do, emails piling up, head and brain space becoming clogged up and "BANG" in one of my quiet times, God rebuked and reminded me that I can't do it without Him - that simple principle (something I've known all along) struck and awoke me to "Spirit-reality". And John 15:5 was my foundation.

Since then, I started fasting, praying, encouraging my committee members to be in tune with God. Got intercessors to pray, and in my heart, I felt a release of His Spirit. I was reminded by the Spirit of God, that the success of OC, is not just good orgainisng, good flow, good program, good planning and etc...... but the success of OC will be that all would be ministered by His (God's) presence and grace.

I must say that it was hard to shift the perspective that the success of a event is measured through spiritual matters (which you can't quite quantify). I was very stuck in the mentality of trying not to make a loss, and ensuring that we provide quality service and program and that all is well-organised. God had to really pour His presence and grace in my life to challenge me to understand His heart in this OC.

That was 1 hurdle - but praise God that He helped me to keep coming back into His presence. The 2nd thing was a prompting one night, before I slept, I felt the urge to check the original contract that I signed with GCCEC over about 8 months ago. It was funny, cos I didn't look at that for a really long time. I checked it in the morning (the morning before OC started), and realised that the updated event contract had a different amount from the original contract signed (as in they have over-charged us on the food & beverage costs). I rang up GCCEC and told them about it, and they later got back to me, that it was their over-sight, and so Praise God again, the cost is much lower than I expected it to be.

These are my personal testimonies; But it is so vital to learn and grow in being led by the Spirit - no matter what it is that we do - and this is not hard if we just desire to seek God wholeheartedly, in all things.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jer 29:13

Weakness and productivity

2010-01-05T21:50:00.003+10:00

In the perspectives of the world today, it seems wise that weakness and productivity does not mix. When there is weakness, there is no productivity. Is that really the case? Is that what is on your mind as well?

How can weakness becomes productive? On what basis do one work upon to overcome the very fact that weakness is possibly failure, and weakness is not something we develop upon. But I'm not convinced, especially when I look at apostle Paul's life. The thorn in his flesh, is like a weakness in Him, and many times, he has urged the believers to turn back to the source of strength - which is God.

Weakness produces dependence - dependence, reliance not on the things of self, achievements, capabilities or stuff, but it is dependence and reliance in God, in who God is, in the power of God, of which (to us) is incomprehensible, and unimaginable. That's why at times, seems so hard to trust. But the 2 scriptures below hopefully encourages us to keep trusting God.

2 Cor 4:7-9 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

2 Cor 4:16-18 " ¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Over 2009, it seems like this is what God has been showing me. I don't boast about my strength, but rather, I am taken to see the weaknesses in my own life. The year of looking at weaknesses brings me to a point of desperation before God, to ask for more of Him in my life. It felt like a long year of been incapable (maybe even incapacitated) to lead, to do the things of God. Many times when I look at my weakness, I don't feel like doing it anymore, but "faithfulness" is a concept or perhaps more so a conviction, that has pushed me to continue doing it, not for anything, but for God. I was reading a book "Jesus" by Charles Swindoll, and when reading about what Jesus went through at the Garden of Gethsemane, I realise that the pain and temptations that He has to go through is way more than how one can ever imagine. And for Him to be able to say "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will but as You will" (Matthew 26:39). My heart at that very point, just felt that if Jesus has gone through all that, he's probably able to understand all my weaknesses, and how I felt through all of it. Even the temptation of giving it up, Jesus have felt it too.

It seems like it is one's choice to live out 2 Cor 4:16-18 (as above). I have concluded 2009 with that scripture, and I am determined to keep living it out (as per 2 Cor 4:16-18) for 2010 and years ever after. I pray that God will humble me to always be reminded 2 things : Do not lose heart; and Keep my eyes on Him, on the eternal things of God (which I do not see with my physical eyes) - it requires a faith response !

Two becoming one

2009-08-13T17:58:00.003+10:00

Counting down.......and now it's all over :) It has been almost a week, with a married status ......... as a new chapter of my life. Wow....... last weekend was almost tiring, but yet exciting and also emotional. Excited because I was the bride, and emotional because it was such a wonderful experience to be joined together with Han. It was almost like Jesus coming to receive the bride. (not saying that Han is Jesus; but the experience of it all, and the preparation that went before walking down that aisle to be received by Han.)

Stepping into this new stage of life helps me to realise of the wonderful plan that God has to join a man and woman together. I'm sure there's a lot to learn about how a woman is to be a helper to the man, as God created originally. My prayer, God, is to help me to be that Godly woman that you can use me, to support my husband, towards the highest calling you have for us. God, may you always and forever be the centre of this family that we've just started.

I would like to take this opportunity to mention and appreciate all the different ones who have made a difference as Han & myself step into this new chapter of our lives.
Bridesmaids - thank you for your constant companionship throughout this season, the laughters, and fun, and also the night before.......all those photos :)
Best mans - thank you for being around to calm the groom ;)
Flowergirls & Page boy - thank you for walking down together.
Band - the music was awesome, the best ever....... thank you for your patience in helping me pick the music. I think you must have all thought that this is the most "can't be bothered" couple, especially when it comes to music.
Decor - the hall was great, and well.......the car was also "breath-taking"........thanks for taking the challenge even when you've never done decor of wedding car and church before.
Reception - it was so great, didn't see any hiccups
Food - it was fantastic, great food, organisation..............especially thank you for the nice wedding cup cakes surprise :) Love it totally
Wedding manager - great job :) thumbs up :) you are a very caring and well-planned wedding manager
MC - how can i forget the "witty" MC......hahaha........i heard that our families love the way you did the MC-ing;
Multimedia guys - great job with the presentation, thank you for your grace
Parents & mentors - great you were there to witness it all, and all our friends and colleagues :) Your presence made the difference
And all the photographers, videographer, make up artists, hair-do artists............you've made this wedding an enjoyable one.
Sorry if we forgot someone..........but you're always in our hearts - heartfelt thanks to all.

I enjoyed every bit of it other than trying to walk down the aisle with a wedding dress that's a teeny bit long. Glad i didn't trip.

Now, it's all over, it's time to live out:

Ephesians 5:22-25
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"

** will put up more photos next time

Counting Down

2009-07-29T22:38:00.003+10:00

Never ever thought that counting down to the big day can be so nerve-wrecking, but exciting, and haha........I was thinking, what would it really be when we think about the day that we await the "TRUE BRIDEGROOM" to come and take the hands of the bride (the church)...???

I started counting down to the wedding day, about 20 weeks before. At that time, it feels like it will take quite a while before we reach the actual day. I almost never really bothered how many weeks we are up to. But as we got closer, when it was less than 10 weeks, i became clearer in my counting down, knowing that the 10 weeks can be counted with the 10 fingers on my hand. And it didn't feel too far away. Started getting nervous counting down, can't believe with my mind and eyes how time flies, and all of a sudden, we were down to 1 month. People were telling me left, right and centre how many days were left, and it was getting quite exciting.

Anyway, when I think about this whole experience of counting down to something great, and the preparation behind (though not a lot - thank you to the wonderful team of people who are helping out there :) ) ; It really reminded me of the preparation I should also get into to await the coming of Jesus - of course the huge difference is we do not know exactly when that day is, but the Word of God said that we should be ready for His return.

I don't want to be caught unprepared, and still having lots of blemishes and pimples on my face during my wedding (the sort of preparation the girl have to go through)......I never realise that I will do this much facial care on my face during this season, but wow.......if i'm willing to put in the time, money and efforts to prepare for an earthly wedding, how much more should I then be putting in to prepare for my "heavenly wedding".

Well, being a phlegmatic doesn't help when counting down. Despite the excitedness of everyone around you, the nature within you just wants to let it be, and "whatever will be, will be". People commented that I'm one of the most relaxed bride that they have seen, but I don't know if that's good or bad. However, it could just very well mean that even if the worst things is to happen in the wedding......maybe forgot the rings, or turn up at the wrong church, or wrong dates....you name it, I'll probabaly just let it be, and just say "let's just enjoy it still". I'm sure I'll forget something, somewhere, somehow...... haha........so my lovely bridesmaids, please just enjoy the experience. But this nature of mine, puts me on the alert that I should always be ready. It really challenges me not to "just let it be", but to actually giving my best in all, unto God. I pray that God, you'll really help me to be excellent in my spirit and heart when I'm awaiting for that heavenly wedding.

To all who's reading this, hope that you can also start counting down to the heavenly wedding, to await Jesus, and to keep preparing ourselves. Don't just do it for a season, but keep on doing it, because that is when you are ready in and out, any time.

"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour" Matthew 25:13

Step or Jump??? of Faith

2009-07-15T00:33:00.000+10:00

How can i not blog this............

I did one of the best thing in the world ( i reckon) - skydiving. Will put up the video somewhere when I get it, but at this point, you'll just have to imagine with me.

Last weekend, with a few "crazy" and funloving friends, we decided to take this journey to jump out of a plane and land with a parachute behind us. It was an anxious yet looking forward type of thing. We had funny conversations before the jump, like taking motion sickness pills before jumping, or even writing our will. Well, all the anxiousness and all were silenced when we jumped out of the plane 14000 ft above ground. The feeling or word that can be used to describe it all is PHENOMENAL. I never thought that I would enjoy it so much that I would want to do it another time. I thought I would be so scared that this is my once in a lifetime sort of thing.

Anyway, enough of me saying too much, but more on what I have learnt. This jump of faith is very much a walk of faith for me. Just like Peter who had to step out in faith to walk on water, I felt I needed to challenge my faith to another level by jumping out of the plane. Not so much about testing whether God will catch me, but more so, what would I be willing to do for God, how much would I be willing to step out.

When I evaluated this whole jump, it showed me something really clear, if I willed myself to do it, I have a lot of sheer determination to complete it. It really reminded me of what was prophesied over me about me having a "bull-dogged" tenacity. However, it also showed me that if I can and have put my life on the line for a thrill of adrenalin rush, I'm sure I will be able to put my life on the line for Jesus. The question is whether "am I willing". This became a huge challenge, because it really make me realise that many times when God has called me, or asked me to take on something, I know that He knows I can. But He is testing my willingness to do it for Him, my willingness to give it all for Him. Sometimes, because of our sinful nature, the willingness to do it for yourself is far greater than the willingness to do it for Jesus.

Anyway, I think this challenge has taught me a very simple truth. God is waiting, are we willing to do it for heaven's sake. I have taken that first step to be out of the plane, why should I keep God waiting. How about you?

The never changing God

2009-06-25T00:30:00.002+10:00

Every day is different.
Situations arise.
Circumstances change.
Fluctuations of econonmy
Inflation of prices
Political decisions change
Policies made and re-made
Moods & emotions swing
Taste & cravings come and go
Choices and preferences are different.......
The list can go on and on. There is never a constant thing, it seems impossible to achieve "non-changing status" in anything or anyone, except of course the promise in Hebrews 13:8

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

God achieves the impossible of being the same yesterday, today and forever. This does not just show us that we can then trust in His promises since the yester-years, but we can also come to see the omnipotent God that He can do the impossible to remain the same, in His character, goodness and promises.

When I contrast it, I am glad that God is changing me. I can't imagine myself being the same, it would be disastrous, and one can only realise that you do not need to change when you are perfect. But we'll not reach there yet, but that's what we're all working towards, and God working in us. Changes can be painful, but it need to happen so that we can be molded. Therefore if one is growing, one will have to go through changes, so that we can be perfected by God to be like Him - to become "never-changing". Again, only God can perfect us because only He is perfect and therefore never would have to change.

In your changing circumstances, are you being changed by an unchanging God?

A Season of Self Assessment

2009-05-20T00:30:00.002+10:00

Got this from a book that I read recently "Leading on Empty". An alright book, but an awesome God that made the sharing in the book encouraging.

There was this part at the end of the book that gave a few questions to ask when we want to do some personal self reflection and assessment. Not fancy questions, but down to earth, bring you back to reality sort of questions. Thought to share it, so that if you like to, you can have a think about it.

What was my original calling from God?
What activities that I am involved in do I love the most?
What activities and people have been draining my tank?
If i retired today with several million dollars and no debts, what would I do?
What am I doing now that I cannot do anymore?

The first question struck me most, as that has always been the question that I bring myself back to when I reflect upon where I am in God now, and things that have happened so far in my life. It is "my starting point", telling myself that my calling is where I need to start again every time I "trip and fall".

I realise that the questions above, your answers may differ as you go through different seasons of your life, but the 1st question, that answer, should be the same. It is God's call in your life. I am challenged to stick to the call of God in my life. Sometimes when the rubber hits the road, sticking to that call becomes almost so hard that you don't want to face up to it. Ask yourself, what is pushing and motivating you to keep doing the work that you do today? Whether it is your day to day job, or even your spiritual responsibilities in the house of God. I find that when I go through the great moments of my life, it is so easy to asnwer that question. But I also see that it is in the tough times in life that truly brings out the essence of one's motivation.

Can I encourage all out there, whatever seasons you are going through in your life, God's call on your life remains. What matters is our response to God.

HOPE

2009-05-18T14:12:00.003+10:00

Isa 40:29-31

²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Hope that is in the Lord strengthens. This sort of hope can only come from God alone.

Hope that is found in anything else, work, studies, money, material things, friends, or even families, will not strengthen. This is what I have been experiencing over the last few weeks. Sometimes in some things in life, when you look at it with your human eyes, you feel that the hope of changing it for the better, seems really bleak.

Recently when I was working with some of my families, I realise that some of the situations they are in, seems really hopeless, and at times when I talk to them, I empathise with them so much that I feel "dragged in" into their hopelessness. And I have been just casually praying that God will help me to somehow be hopeful in the work that I do, so that it is hope that I can bring to the families, even in their hopelessness. Although I found it really hard to do it practically, I wanted to trust God for it. Amazingly then, with one family that I was supporting, they were in huge financial crisis, and I've been looking everywhere to see what more could be done to support them. I've been praying for God to bring Hope and strength to the family, and they recently received new funding, and hopefully with this new funding, it may help tide the family through. When I looked back at it, I realise that God's hand is upon it. This injected faith into my heart to start praying for all the families that I'm supporting, and trusting that God will bring the best to the families. Even though, I may not be able to openly encourage them to have hope in God, but that I can pray that God will bring hope into the situation.

Anyway, this challenge me to trust and have hope in God even for all that I am in. And truly, only when the hope is in God, then one will find that strength to keep going on. It is when my hope is placed in God, that I find the new strength to wake up every morning, and keep on doing what I would love to do for God. It is when my hope is upon God's heart, that I will understand how He will guide and lead me through my sufferings.

Hope in God.........what can i say, keep that hope always in the Lord, for when we are tired, stressed, overwhelmed, upset, disappointed, discouraged, hurt, that we know that God's hope is always strong and will always help us to arise in that new day, with new hope, that He will bring us through. Take heart, and continue to hope in our Lord.

Tenacity

2009-04-09T00:00:00.004+10:00

It is funny how I usually end up writing my blogs late into the night, when I know that I am suppose to be resting, but yet, some writing inspirations come at such a time.......

Just taking some time to browse through some close friends blogs, and felt to write something that is close to my heart. Not that it is my favourite topic, but it is a favourite lesson from God.

Tenacity.............holding fast, that's what it is.
Tenacity, perseverance, boldness, fearlessness, strength and courage are very closely linked words. It is almost like when you use any one of these words, the other words will come into play as well. When I was reading some articles, tenacity was brought through into my thoughts, and I realise this is what God is building in my life. I was brought back to a presbytery that was upon my life a number of years ago, and reading the transcript brought forth that God is building in me tenacity.

Of course, you will then ask yourself, how is tenacity built? What contributes to tenacity? What will help one to hold fast?

Yes of course, it is GOD .God will empower one to hold fast, but that's provided that one will learn to look to God, in the midst of everything they are doing.
Then it's the "fearful" word - TESTS. All of us do not like to take tests or exams. When we need to do so, we usually have to put ourselves to some sort of preparation. When there is no tests, there is no preparation. Somehow, we, in our fleshly nature, need to have tests happening, so that we can prepare and grow in our faith. If not, we will never be ready for what is to come when Jesus returns.
And finally, it is YOU, your choice, and decision, TO HOLD FAST. To hold, is an action word, and what will your action be. It's funny how the term "hold fast". Thinking through it more, it is clearer then before, that in times of "falling" or "failing" behind, one key thing is to learn to hold, and you need to be quick and fast about it, if not, you'll be falling deeper than you thought if you don't hold fast enough. Are you holding fast enough?

Don't run through a marathon and ignore the pains of it all. The pains build tenacity, it is important that we recognizes the pains, and learn from the pains, and let go of the pains.

What is your marathon like today? Full of pains? of full of Joys?

Be Rooted Deeply

2009-03-02T14:27:00.001+10:00

In this above picture, it's a plant that's growing in a pot, on my balcony........

Let me give you a bit of a history about the potted plants on my balcony. My very first housemate in this apartment bought some plants, and decided that we'll grow our very own cherry tomatoes (about 2.5 years ago), and it was really successful. We have our cherry tomatoes fresh from our plants on the balcony. But after my housemate moved out, i've never really continue any planting. I think i'm not that sort of person to be growing my own fruits.
But anyway, in the last 2-3 weeks, after about 1.5 years of not touching the dried up soil in the pots, a plant started to spring out of nowhere. I thought, perhaps it's just some weed, but amazingly, it kept growing, and there are flowers starting to develop. The best part is, I have not added any water or taken any particular care of it. I decided that I will have a look at it today. It has got pretty deep roots .......

Anyway, my thought was that it might die after a few days (plus such summery weather), but it didn't, but kept growing taller. Perhaps some will just take it as "it just happens", but I see this as a promise of God , like in Matthew 6 that talks about how God will care for the trees and birds, and provide.

²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^b]">[b]?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

When I look at this plant, I knew that it has gotten it's nourishment from the sun, and obviously the rain. And perhaps birds have come in to "fertilize" the pot of soil, and therefore, a plant has sprouted out. It is quite a sight.

But it really affirms my heart that if God will take care of the plants and birds of the air, how much God will care for us, because He loves us so much. Do you still have to worry. I read as well, that PROVIDENCE, comes from 2 Latin words - pro (Before) and video (to see). So when we talk about God's providence, it is saying that He sees all things beforehand and His sovereign arrangement of all things. Continue to trust in God's providence, even in our dryest moment, and at times when we can't see it. Look deep into your hearts and ask if your roots are rooted deep into God's promises and His Words.

Refuge......Where?

2009-02-27T20:13:00.003+10:00

Ps 91:1-4, 9-12
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, He is my REFUGE and my FORTRESS
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart..................
If you make the Most High your dwelling - even the Lord, who is my refuge -
then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

May you find refuge in the Lord
Draw near to Him, and He provides that refuge.

REFUGE

Lost for words, Found in HIS hope

2009-02-16T23:51:00.004+10:00

It has been a while. I've returned to this blog again and again, not knowing how to write the next blog, or maybe what to really write. So much has happened over the last month, but yet speechless (or wordless), not know how to really write down in words.

God has allowed certain things to happen for He knows the best for the situation. I have always taken on the promise of Jeremiah 29:11, and I thank God for this promise.

These are the words at the bottom of my heart....... which I find great delight in, because of the hope that it brings.

In my loneliness, YOU are there
In my loneliness, YOU draw me close to your heart
In the times of lost, YOU guided me
In the times of lost, YOU open the doors
In the midst of turmoil, YOU showed the way
In the midst of uncertainties, YOU gave me confidence
Most of all..........
In the midst of wanting to give up........
YOU encouraged me
YOU spoke to me
YOU held my hands
YOU held my tears
YOU wiped away the pain
YOU gave me hope
but I know that YOUR HOPE & CONFIDENCE is always there, it is ME that needs to make a decision. A decision to say ........
I am encouraged
I heard your voice
I hold your hands
I cry to you
I continued to carry on, because
YOU gave me HOPE.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Tonight's Dinner - Taste and see that it is good

2009-01-11T00:55:00.006+10:00

It is interesting, but it's my first time blogging about food.........but still would like to share what I learn :) There is always something to learn.

3 days ago, I learned a new recipe from my work colleague to make quiche with egg & ricotta cheese. I have always made my quiche in the past, the chinese way (Egg & tofu). And me......being a cheese lover, could not resist the temptation to try.

That night, I made my first bacon and mushroom quiche.

It was so delicious that my housemate, another visitor to the house, finish about almost half the quiche, and i packed another quarter for my fiancé. for his lunch. It was so nice that the next day, he sms me after lunch to say that he wouldn't mind more of the quiche. The best part is that both my housemate and fiancé are both not quiche lovers. So now i've converted them to be quiche lovers :)

Anyway, being excited to want to try more different type of quiches, I decided that tonight's dinner will be quiche too. And below are the exciting faces as we try this prawn, mushroom and spinach quiche.

Alright......these are just the fun of cooking and eating.

But as I thought about it now, when it is so good, we remember the taste, and we'll go all way to try to re-create it, we'll put in all the efforts that is needed to make it. And I wondered, do we truly know and have tasted the goodness of God, that we remember it, and that we'll want to go all way to experience the goodness of God, and will make the effort to spend time so that we can truly experience His love and goodness.

I am not surprised that at times we can do all these just for food, but would we instead do it for God. I'm a food lover, but I want to be more of a God lover than food lover. I want to truly (a million times) taste the goodness of God that I will never forget, but will keep craving for it, to the extent that no matter what it takes to experience His love and goodness, I will do it.

Alright, just my little FOOD for thoughts :)

Am I a backslidder?

2009-01-06T21:57:00.001+10:00

I'm sure at some stage of your life, you may have pondered over this question, and perhaps even wondered if you've already back-slided. I have, and many times, I have to come before God in repentance, because I have not grown. Someone once said to me and it is a challenge in my heart always ............ "from the time you stop growing in God, is the time you started to back slide in God."

The sermon on Sunday serves as a reminder for myself that I need to guard my life and heart, to make sure that I don't become complacent, and think that it won't happen to me.

Many years ago, when I was still a very young Christian, I remembered that I went through that stage of turning away from God. It started from "no desire" to get involved with God. I remembered I started to feel bored in life group, during worship, I fall asleep, I don't remember what's been taught in sermons or discussions. The best part is I can fall asleep, and wake up at the right time to say "AMEN" . Hmm........sounds familiar for some? Well, they were the signs of me falling away from God, and I thank God that at the end of that turning away, I choose to come back to God. I remembered that it was during one of the life group's worship session (in Singapore), I couldn't help myself but just kept crying, and there I had a vision.......I was falling off a cliff, and it felt like the falling was never ending, and then all of a sudden, I felt a thug on my hand, and something held me on. And I knew then, that God was and is holding on to me, and whether I will choose to hang on to God.

That was the question that stirred me to wake up from my back sliding. And that was when i made a decision "I will never want to walk away from God". This decision became a conviction. This conviction slowly got deepen over the years. I must say that constantly, in the earlier years, I still think a lot about turning away. But I am always reminded of this decision made, and the experience of that one night. Today, I still remember that very fateful and eventful night. It is amazing that God works in such a wonder. But it is still a learning process to keep strong in God. I do admit that in the difficult and challenging times, I did want to surrender and give in. But I thank God that I have always choosen to look to God. However, it is a reminder to myself again, I should never be complacent, but I need to turn back to God. It is God that I need to come back to. Never be hard hearted towards God; Man may fall and fail, but God can be trusted. That's the difference.

If you think you are slowly fading away, and drawing away from God. You (yes talking about you - who's reading this blog), need to take time to seek God, and allow God to speak to you. Jeremiah 29:13 " You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. "

One Christmas day ...........

2008-12-25T00:27:00.004+10:00

One Christmas day, in 1995...........the angels rejoice and danced, cos many came to know the Lord, i was one of the privileged one.

Christmas has a special place in my heart, because it is the day that I gave my heart and life to Jesus.It was the start of a new life, and a start of a change of life. As the bible says, the old is gone, and the new has come. Looking back, i could still remember the moment, when i lift up my hand to say "yes, i want to receive Jesus into my life". Never would i have imagine that at that point, my life would never be the same again.

Looking back, for the last 13 years, I realise that God's grace is upon my life, time after time. God has never failed me in the last 13 years - of course there were times of discouragement, and frustrations, but I have come to witness that God's love never fails during those times as well. Even when I go through the valleys of life, I know that God walks through it with me.

I don't think I can spell out and list out every single testimony ........... I will never finish writing this blog. But below is my gratitude and love unto God

Once without joy; now filled with JOY (Psalm 16:11)
Joy not from the world, but Joy from God (Nehemiah 8:10)
Joy is a Gift from God, and
Joy is a gift I want to give back to God

God's love is amazing, and unspeakable (Jeremiah 31:3)
His love covers over all my sin, and (1 Peter 4:8)
His love continues to cover over my life (1 John 4:10)
His love is everlasting, and like Romans 8 says,
"Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ" (Romans 8:38-39)
His love is experienced in every moment of my life (Psalm 121:2-3)
His grace is deeper than the oceans can reach (2 Corinthians 12:9)
His hope is higher than the skies (Isaiah 40:30-31)
His mercy is wider than the horizons of the earth (Isaiah 55:8-9)
There is nothing than can separate us from God (Psalm 125:1)
Because He is every where, and He chooses to be with us. (Joshua 1:9)
God's love is never limiting (1 Corinthians 13:1-8)
Think beyond, and you'll see God's love a bit more every day (Psalm 103:11-12)
The relationship that you have with God, is one that you can enjoy
Enjoy it and be filled with the Holy Ghost.
I cannot say enough .......
I love you Jesus

Christmas is not just a time of gifts, friends, food, and Jesus birthday.... it is a reminder for me that my life was changed because of God's love for me. I cannot imagine what my life will be like if I have not come to know God's love for myself. Above all ........ the gift I have received, is not just for me, but is for all of you as well.

A Lifetime of LEARNING

2008-12-22T00:40:00.002+10:00

After a night of tossing and turning, and trying to unblock my blocked nose, decided to wake up and spend some time in worship. After worshipping with the song "My hope", I was inspired to look at the goals I've set in 2008, and see what has been fulfilled, and what needs to be carried forward to 2009. As I started looking at all the goals of 2008, I realise that over the year, a lot has been achieved, but there's also a lot that still needs to be worked on.

As I started thinking through 2008, and planning for 2009, I came to a conclusion, that there is so much that has been learnt, and there is so much more to learn still. 2008 has been a year of steep learning. The climbing of the learning curve hasn't been easy, but it has been fruitful.

Let me spell out some learning curve, and what it has been for the year.......

Relationship with God - am never going to learn enough about who God is in my life. This year, it has been a humbling year to just come back to the basics to grow in a deeper relationship with God. There is so much more that I have to come to rely on God. It is so crucial, to keep understanding and pursuing the heart of God. It is because of this pursuing of His heart, that has kept me on through the trials of this year. One thing I know about the Heart of God for me ........ is that I need to be certain of His call upon my life, and be confident that as He has called, He will provide. It hasn't been an easy one, especially since there has been a few crisis point in my life this year that I have to keep coming back to be renewed of His call in my life.

Pastoral - this is always a growing challenge. To continue to love the people , and to continue to deepen the people's relationship with God. This year, it had been a year of stretching, running between life group, unit and sub-district leading. Coming up with innovative pastoral structure to challenge effectiveness. At the end of the day, I have to remind myself ............. it is people that I'm leading, not groups. Further, I am humbled by the very fact that everytime, it is by God's grace that I am still standing firm in God. This year of stretching has challenged me to continue to expand and continue to grow.

Operations Ministry - this has been one of the most exciting aspect. I've never been so involved in operations ministry until this year......... especially so with Events Mgt. Wow..... it's all i can say. Everything is new, everything is a learning point. All the events organised, whether good, bad, successful, or could be better.......... one thing that i gain, is that I have learnt another thing, and more so, I have learnt to rely and trust God. It is a joy to serve, and it has brought a deeper understanding of "the joy of the Lord is my strength". When you find the what the joy of the Lord is (pursuing the heart of God), it is such joy that brings you strength to keep doing what you do for God. Thanks to all the insightful thoughts and challenges from Mr C.Bee :)

Relationship - Been a challenge. A good one...........and a difficult one. But in all, a sweet one, after the painful process. That's why the Chinese saying "Go through the pain first, and you'll enjoy the sweetness of the pain after". Thanks to the humility and patience of the one who love me.

There is much more of course than what i've written here. But this is in a nutshell of 2008, so my point here is .......... don't stop learning. 2009 here we come, to learn, learn and LEARN.

Till Death Us Do Part

2008-11-20T22:49:00.005+10:00

This is a very common phrase we hear in marriage vows, where the commitment of the husband and wife to each other is ........... only death will part our ways. Recently, I flew back to Singapore to attend a covenant sister's wedding, and it was a privilege to just witness the joining of a man and woman. What really struck me, time and time again, is the amount of preparation and work that gone in to make the bride the most beautiful bride; before the bride is presented to the groom. And in order for the bride to be made the most beautiful one, the bride has to go through a whole lot of things, which at times, comes at a price, and also suffering.

Thinking about that, brought me to once again see the price that we have to pay, in order to be ready to meet with our groom (Jesus), when He returns, I pray, not just me, but the church, will truly be the "most beautiful, without blemish" bride. The price and suffering is not for nothing, but it is to await the perfect coming of Christ.

If any girl would be willing to suffer to be the most beautiful bride on their wedding day, why should we as Christians not be willing to suffer to be the best for Jesus on the day of His coming. The same commitment that we say or will say unto our spouse, should be the same commitment, and even more, unto Jesus. Except to know that death will not separate us, because of the eternal life that God has promised.

What are you willing to pay for your "wedding" to Jesus? He's offering eternity, would you commit?

Anyway, enjoy the video below of "xiao mei" on her wedding day :)

Amazing Grace - Celine Dion

The Father & Son

2008-11-14T13:11:00.006+10:00

Have you ever thought deeper about how a father truly demonstrates that they will back their son (or child) all the way to the end, despite the situations.

I know that my God will back me all the way, even if I come to the point of becoming invalid in my own capacities. God will take me all the way, just like how this father has done it for his son.

The video tells it all, I don't have much to say, and hope that this is a source of inspiration for you to do all that you want to do, in order to plant the Kingdom of God, no matter how challenging the situation is..........WHY???? HOW CAN I DO IT????? because God will back me up all the way to the end.

Demonstration of God's love & Support :)
A son says to his father: "Dad, would you be willing to run a marathon with me?"
The father, despite his age and heart disease, says "YES".
And they run that marathon together
The son asks: "Dad, can you run another marathon with me?" Again father says "Yes"/
They run another marathon, together.
One day the son asks his father:"Dad, would you please do the Iron Man with me?"
Now just in case you wouldn't know. "The Iron Man is the toughest triathlon in existance; 4km swimming, then 180km by bike, and finally another 42 km running in one stroke.
Again father says "Yes"
Maybe this doesn't touch you yet by heart, until you watch the video:

How big is your frying pan?

2008-11-12T18:38:00.006+10:00

Interesting title? Yes, I'm inspired and challenged as I heard this.

Sat in the leaders conference "Planting the Kingdom", and was listening to Ps. Obaja (a pastor of the largest church in Solo - 20,000 in size and a friend of the hope movement.

One day, a man was fishing, and every fish he catches, he'll measure it against this particular ruler that he brings with him every time. Any fish that is longer than the ruler, he will throw it back into the river, and any fish that is of the same length as the ruler, or smaller, he'll put it into his basket.

After watching this man for a while, the man standing next to this man asked. Usually when people catches a big fish, they will be so happy and take it home, but instead he does the opposite and throws all the big fish back into the river. While when others catches the small fish they throws it back into the river, but yet he keeps them. What is his reason for doing so?

The man replied, bringing up his ruler at the same time. "The ruler is measured to his frying pan, anything that is bigger or longer than his ruler is bigger than the frying pan, and hence he will not be able to cook it.

Well.........I don't know what is your response to this man. But this story basically illustrates that sometimes in life, we tend to just look at it like a frying pan, we limit what we can do for God, according to our own abilities. I thought for a long time after listening to this story. The pastor who was sharing this said that we should never limit God in what He can do. Rather than asking the question, how big is your frying pan? which is equivalent to "how much can we do according to our abilities?"; It should be, "HOW BIG IS THE FISH". We should never limit the size of the "fish" to the size of the frying pan. Same, we should never limit the size of the things that God has called us to, to the size of our abilities.

God commanded in Gen 1:28, to be fruitful and multiply. God did not give us a limit as to how much we should be fruitful and how much to multiply. There is no end to the fruitfulness if we would have faith to believe that God will provide.

As well, the size of your pan will limit you to the size of the fish. Which is also saying that the amount of vision you receive from God will be limited if you only look according to your abilities. We need to ask God for his vision, not ask God according to our abilities.

Isa 54:2
2 "Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes."

It says to lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes........... lengthen your cords - extend your capabilities to beyond; and strengthen your faith in the foundations of God, so that you will not be shaken. Do not hold back today, because God wants to spread you. Don't keep focusing on your frying pan, focus on God and the vision that He wants to give to you.

Heart of Worship

2008-10-18T07:27:00.004+10:00

It was an awesome worship night that we had. It is so true what was being shared........that if God's people would come every Sunday, prepared to meet with God, the atmosphere of worship would truly rock the earth. 6 days..........we are to prepare ourselves for that 1 day that we can meet with God. It really goes to show how much we should be spending that time to get ready.
But well, I can truly say that meeting with God is one of the best things that you can do in life.

Worship is such a beautiful thing, such a privilege to be able to just be in the presence of God to worship, and to enjoy Him. When we were worshipping with the song "Heart of Worship" one of my all time favourites, I was just awaken by the simple lyrics of this song, and had a gentle reminder.........that this day, it is all about Jesus, not about my work, my ministry, my people, my life, but it is about God. And when we can submit to God in this manner, worship wouldn't be a chore, but a joy.

Let's learn from the lyrics of the song:

When the music fades
All is stripped away
(When you choose to surrender all unto God, where there is the understanding that there is none left of you. Just as Paul puts it, that he considers all things rubbish, except the very fact of having Christ in Him; Philippians 3:8 "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consdier them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." - there needs to be a heart of humility in this, a deep humility that is willing to come to the point of all being stripped of your life)
And I simply come
(and it's only when you can come to that point of humility, then you can SIMPLY COME)
Longing just to see
(when there is nothing left, I pray that we will only long to come and meet with God)
Something that's of worth
(because God is so precious that we know that we are willing to be stripped of all, so that we can come to be with God. It really brings out, are you willing to give of your all, so that you can come and meet with God - how much are you willing to sacrifice to come to God)
That will bless your heart

I'll bring you more than a song
For a song in itself
(it is not just a song of worship, but more than the words of the lyrics that we sing, it is the words from our hearts that we sing)
It's not what you have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
(God doesn't see the outward, but He looks into your heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart". I'm so glad that this is the case, but to remember to always search and examine our heart, that our heart is right before God, that our heart is true to God.)

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
When it's all about you
(We'll come back to the true place of worship, the true humility of worship when we know that worship is all about Jesus - it is about giving all unto Jesus, praising Jesus, thanking Him, adoring Him, loving Him. There is no point of worship when the focus is shifted from coming back to God. The reason that we existed is because God has created us to worship Him.)
It's all about you, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it
(Come back to that heart of repentance, the heart of forgiveness. Know that God loves you for who you are; God forgives, and God accepts. Would we choose to come to that place of humility, to ask God to forgive of our sins, and times of unbelief and lack of faith, do we know that God accepts when we choose to turn back to Him - look at the story of the prodigal son - Luke 15:11-31)
When it's all about you
It's all about you, Jesus.

Well..........this is God's heart. Would we pursue after His heart when we worship Him. Minister unto Him, draw close to him, receive His grace and mercy............Enjoy the worship unto God. Let it spalsh forth from your heart as you sing praises and worship unto Him. One day in His courts is better than a thousand days elsewhere.

The Heart of Worship - Joel Engle

Amazing Grace

2008-10-05T21:04:00.004+10:00

I just want to take this opportunity to truly thank God for all that He has done, not just in my life, for the last 10 years that I have been part of the church, Hope Brisbane. But as well, just for all that He has brought this church to.......just hearing all the different sharing from the different people just goes to show that this day it is the lives of people that matter. It is not just about what is working well, and what is a better method. But it is about a life. A life that God treasures, a life that matters to God

As we celebrate Hope Brisbane's 15th Anniversary, it brought back a lot of fond memories when I first came in to the church, and how God has blessed me, but more so, how God has brought so many people into our midst, and one question I was asking myself........whose life have I made a difference in today? When I go up to heaven, and meet God, and if God is to ask me...........whose life have i made a difference in, I hope I will be ready to answer that.

As i look back for these 10 years in the church, I just see how God has grown different ones, and also the church. Not just in numbers, but in our lives as well. When I listen to the song sang...........thanks choir (for the wonderful "thank you" song), and as I worshipped God, it just really brought a heart that could not express in words "thank you to God" and thank you to the church leadership team, and thank you to all who have been part of my life. I couldn't express that sense of gratitude, and that no matter how much I do, or will provide, it just seems like it is not enough, because all of you have done so much, not just for me, but for the church.

The celebration that we had, not just brought back fond memories, and lots of thank you, but it also demonstrates God's amazing love. Despite a church that is so not perfect, yet God is willing to keep loving and keep preparing. Looking at all the things that have past, and even just this whole organisation of the anniversary, I can only say that it is God's amazing love and grace that has driven us to where we are today. So what can I say..........but to ask you to join with me to THANK GOD for all.

And I just want to say thank you for all who has put in the hard work for the church

And as well, thank God for the whole events team for anniversary, who has been gracriously patience, helpful and willing to go the extra mile. You have made a difference :)

When God says "No"

2008-09-20T09:10:00.003+10:00

One by one He took them from me,
All the things I valued most,
Until I was empty-handed;
Every glittering toy was lost.

And I walked earth's highways, grieving,
In my rags and poverty.
Till I heard His voice inviting,
"Lift those empty hands to Me!"

So I held my hands towards Heaven,
And He filled them with a store
Of His own transcendent riches
Till they could contain no more.

And at last I comprehended
With my stupid mind and dull,
That God could not pour His riches
Into hands already full!

Not sure what this poem may mean to you, but it is a lesson that I am constantly learning as a Christian. As a child of God, we constantly seek God, and ask from Him, but yet we go to Him with so much in our hands, expecting that we can carry more, expecting more, not realising that God is asking us to drop and let go of somethings, so that He can bless us with the best.

I realise that when we come before God, seeking Him and praying to Him, asking Him to provide, asking Him to bless, we didn't do the part to first seek Him and His heart first. Because if we have, and when God says "no" to us, we'll understand. We'll not blame God when the things don't happen the way we plan it. We'll not be upset and disappointed with God, because we know that He has something greater in store for us.

I was reading about David; YES, David, my favourite character in the Bible....Again, learning from Him. I am sure His heart must have pained so much when God told Him, that it is not for Him to build the house for the ark of God, but it will be his son, Solomon. Imagine that, at that point, I'm sure David had thought through how he will want to so very much be the one to build the temple of God, probably even wanting to be that master builder, planning and thinking, and even strategising. And then at the point of seeking God, God gently says "no" (2 Samuel 7:12-13 & 2 Chronicles 6:7-9). I'm sure for many of us, we tend to wrestle so much with God, when He says "no" to your dream at that point. But do we realise the heart of God when He says no.

If we learn from David, we realise that there is so much humility in Him towards God, His response is one that is of surrender unto God, saying to God "Who am I" to say that it is me who will build Your temple. Wow........read 2 Samuel 7:18-20, and again verses 22-29. It brought up the deep humility of David to not just obey, but even support God, even when He did not fully understand. I'm sure we feel that at times, what we want to do for God........it is so great to be able to "build that temple for God". It is for God, but why did God say "no". I'm sure David did not fully understand, but he choose to support and run with God.

In the times of challenges, changes, we may resist it so much, thinking that God, what I want to do is to glorify your name, and to do something great for you. But ask yourself, what is truly the heart of God for you in this whole situation. Don't just have a mindset of God, I want to do this for you, but rather, God what would you want me to do. God will commend you for what you want to do, but God desires obedience more than sacrifices; so it's not just about what you will do for Him, but would we seek Him for what He wants us to do? That's obedience.

Sometimes I don't understand as well, why I did the things I did, but only know that it was directed by God. Of course as time goes, it came to being to realise that God knows the best :) Alright, let's learn to take God's "No" with great humility, and not great disappointment.

Communicating for Life Change

2008-09-17T09:24:00.003+10:00

This is what I want to do .......... I want to be able to communicate and impart in a way, that will be life changing for people. Since young, when I hear speakers, the ones whom I will remember will be the ones who have spoken something that has "awaken" me that caused me to have a life changing experience. I'm not sure if that's for you, but it is for me. Even for teachers in my primary and secondary school. The ones who impacted me most, are not the ones who praise me and give me good marks. But they are the ones who have spoken LIFE into me, and spoken ENCOURAGEMENT into me, and have INSPIRED me to higher heights. They are the ones whom I remember distinctly because they have changed my life. Hahaha........but as I write this, I also realise that I remember clearly the hurting words of some teachers, even way back to Primary school. This goes to show that the words that we speak can build and change life for the better, or it can tear and change life for the worst.

Anyway, I have been reading this book by Andy Stanley and Lane Jones, on "Communicating for a Change". I am challenged to feel that I need to grow in my communication, not for the sake to be a better public speaker, but for the sake of God's Kingdom. I learn that when we communicate, especially the Word of God, it is teaching people about the Bible, not teaching the Bible to the people. (Leave you to ponder on this :) )

And as well............our goal of communication should be to see life change. I learn that it is easy to grow in communication, but it is not easy to be able to communicate and see life change. I realise that there is so much that we need to rely on God, that as we communicate, that we communicate His heart to the people, His heart for the people is something that God desires for His people to know. His love, his grace and His holiness is something that God desires for people to understand and relate. When we teach and share the Word of God, it is not just communicating a knowledge and principle, but it is about imparting the heart of God, so that there can be life change.

I have been pondering upon this for a couple of weeks (that's why I'm reading what I'm reading).....and have been asking God to show me how can I communicate and impart the Word of God that it will bring about life change. I don't just want people to remember what I share (in terms of the knowledge and principle), but I want people to become convicted through the Word that I share, and through that, people can respond to God, and not to me. That will bring life change then. It is not about how well I can "put flowers" into my sharing, but it is about God's spirit and convictions flowing through and into the lives of others.

One thing that truly still resonates in my heart, from the book, is "INTERNALIZE THE MESSAGE". That's when I realise that I need to internalize my message more, not just about memorizing it, but about relating and identifying with it, convicted about it that the sharing comes out like a heart-felt sharing. This brings me to a very clear message, that I need to grow deeper with God, I need to have those personal breakthroughs, that I need to deepen in all those personal convictions, and that comes through the personal time and relationship I have with God. The internalization does not come because I memorize the message. It comes because God brought it to life in you. That is how one can internalize it deeper.

When I look at it, I realise that every time I deliver a sharing or teaching, when the sharing was inspired by God, I found it a lot easier to impart. But when it is brought out through research and preparation, it is a lot harder to impart. And that's when I said to myself, "Joy, it is time to prepare your hearts before God, not before man." And that's when I pray and ask God to show me in those areas, what I need to grow in.

Anyway.......what I want to share with you all today is that even communication is not a skill in itself. It is an empowerment from God, and to communciate for life change, we need to be changed by God too.

The Battle Belongs to the Lord

2008-08-03T10:05:00.003+10:00

Wow......have been so exciting and encouraging, and faith inspiring as I read into detail about how David fought Goliath - 1 Samuel 17 gives the full account. It really brings out how we, as the child of God, need to have the confidence to trust God in the battles we fight. And knowing that the battle belongs to the Lord.

It brings out the value of facing our giants, and 4 things to bring up that really blessed my heart as I read that story of David and Goliath:

1. Facing giants is an intimidating experience - yet David said "My God is greater than he." Is our God bigger than our giants, or have we put our giants to be greater than God. 1 Jn 4:4 "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

2. Doing battle is a lonely experience - no one else can fight that "goliath" in your life. It is on the lonely battlefiled that I need to learn to come back to lean on God and trust Him. It is not in my leaders, my acheivements or skills or knowledge that I trust upon. But GOD alone.

3. Trusting God is a stabalizing experience - When we trust God, it helps us not to be "jittery", but rather to stand firm and know that God is on our side. This sort of trust comes by us coming on our knees to seek God, and find that strength from Him.

4. Winning victories is memorable - Remember the past victories that God has given unto you. I choose to remember the things that God has brought me through, and choose to see beyond my own skills, and know that it was God who led us through. Journal it, write it, share it...........this will inspire the faith of many others.

At the end, God is asking us not to let that giant step any further into your territory, but rather to really take that "sling of FAITH" and step out to fight the battle, just as who you are, not as anybody else. And know that God can use us when we trust in Him. Remember the battle is the Lord's, but it is for us to trust in Him to let Him fight it for us. We need to have faith.

Want to encourage you if you find yourself fighting the battle on your own strength, remember, fight with faith, not by might nor power, but by His Spirit that we can overcome. The battle today is not a physical battle, but a spiritual one, fight it on your knees to the Lord. Remember TRUST GOD.

Strength in HIS REFUGE

2008-08-01T14:50:00.004+10:00

Where can I go from Your Presence
Under your wings I take REFUGE
Your Spirit lives within my heart
I know we'll never be APART

Every day I draw closer to you Lord
I long to see your FACE
and hide in Your EMBRACE
All my life
Dwelling in your HOLY PLACE
My heart o Lord you've changed
I'll never be the same

This song - "Refuge City" brings out the intimacy that you can have with God.

Let me not ever be cast from your presence o God
Instead, because we'll never be apart,
Draw me closer and closer to you
Draw me into your refuge
Let me hide under your wings
Grant me the desire to just want to be in your embrace
God when I come to hide in you
Change me, that I can face life with your STRENGTH, COURAGE
God whatever that needs to change
Let your Spirit do that work
Humble me, strip me to the point of nothing - where I can't even rely on my capabilities
Let it not be my confidence
Let it not be my strength
Let it not be my skills
Let it not be my wisdom/knowledge
But let it be THE SPIRIT OF GOD
Let it be by the POWER OF GOD
Draw me closer into your refuge
It is in your refuge that we can find CONFIDENCE, STRENGTH, WISDOM, ANOINTING;
Because God, it is YOU.

God, I believe that you are my all, all of my portion belongs to you.

When you go through those moments where you just feel that you can't do it anymore, don't question where God is, but rather, come into the embrace of God, and rely on Him. Those moments of helplessness, is for us to experience the goodness and grace of God. Don't let those moments go, but take heart, and choose to enter into the presence of God.

That's me.............I am choosing to RUN into my Father's embrace. Would you as well

Judah 7's VISION

2008-07-11T23:44:00.002+10:00

Wow, i feel really challenged to have to write this, not because I am fearful that it can't be fulfilled, but I am challenged that maybe this is too small. And I pray that as you read it, you will have a similar response with me, that there needs to be more, and it needs to be bigger......

Matthew 22:37-39 is the very core of the life group. We want to be build upon this principle of Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, ALL your soul and ALL your mind. And then, love your neighbour as yourself. The 2 greatest commandment that God has given us, is very much the same heart beat I have for Judah 7. I remember when we first started Judah 7, it was a small group. I was challenged to really grow it and my motto then, as a leader, was Love God, and Love His people. And many times, when I go through the challenges of leading a unit, with the ups and downs, and things that you expect to go right, goes wrong, I had to come back to the point of Love God and His people. This very fact of Loving God and Loving His people kind of motivated me to keep on leading and never giving up.

As we pushed through, by God's grace, Judah 7 grew, and we saw many lives coming to know Christ, and lives being transformed. Being part of Judah 7 is one that I will never trade with anything else in my life.

Anyway, coming back to the focus of Matthew 22:37-39, I came to realise that our foundations need to be build deep, deep relationship with God, through deep prayer, intimacy and worship unto God. In the recent unit getaway, Judah 7 had a theme of "DEEPER" and it was with a clear focus to really want to encourage all to draw deeper to a next level, in their relationship with God. This theme has actually "disturbed" me for a fair bit of time, before and even after the getaway. It really place me in a real uncomfortable spot, to realise that I need to keep growing deeper. Despite the simplicity of prayer life, quiet time and worship, yet God asks that we keep doing it and going back to it.

Once our foundation is strong, and firm, and as we keep adding on to it the simplicity of prayer, quiet time and worship, the foundation "gains more ground", and with a bigger foundation, we can hold more, and rise up to take on more responsibility - to care and to nurture others. All of this will bring us to the place that we can have the capacity to bring others into life group, that we can share with them, love and care. This will give us a good ground to share the love of God with them too. And of course, this brings us then to the 2nd commandment, which can then be fulfilled - Love your neighbour as yourself.

This 2nd commandment cannot be fulfilled, if we don't do the first bit of building a strong foundation of loving God. Because without that, our love for others will just be our own love, and it will be limited. We need to love with God's love.

Judah 7, you can do it, Love the Lord, and then your love for others will be lifted higher. Let's keep praying that as a group, we will fulfill the call that God has for us as a group, and individually.

Uncertainties vs Vision

2008-07-11T23:39:00.002+10:00

Have you ever asked some of these questions:
- What is going to happen to the life group?
- Who will lead the guys/ gals?
- There is not enough shepherds, where to find the extra shepherds?
- Why does the change need to happen now?
- Will the life group cope / manage with the changes?
- What can I do?
- What am I suppose to be doing that I am not currently already doing?

When we lead a group, the above questions could be upon our minds from time to time. I don’t know if you have even come to a point where because there is so much questions, and no answers to it, that you feel that you are an inadequate leader, and that you are not fit to lead. Over the last couple of months, something that really struck me is…….i don’t have an answer for all the questions that I ask myself, and that which, others ask me. Even as I sought God, what came back is “to keep on seeking Him”, which at times can get a bit frustrating, but I’m sure God knows what He is doing. However, this has driven me to go deeper in asking God.

And God brought assurance. I was reading a book by Andy Stanley, Next Generation Leader, and it brought a valuable principle, that it is normal for leaders to face uncertainties. But therefore, what matters most is that we will need to have a clear vision of where we are heading, so that in the midst of the uncertainties, we can still lead our people. This challenged me really to ask myself what is my vision for the people that I am leading? Why am I leading them? And where am I leading them to?

All of these brought me to a revealation that I need to renew in my vision. Why am I a leader? And What is my vision? This is what I am after, and have to sought after. I need a clear vision, a forward-looking vision, a big enough vision that will stir and motivate others to the highest calling that God has led them to. All of these really encouraged me to realise leadership is not just about leading in our certainties, and in our securities. But even in the tough times of uncertainties, and challenges, that we can still lead, because of the vision that God has laid in us. We need to keep the vision burning bright, because this is what will keep us going when the going gets tough.

Don’t let go of the uncertainties, it is placed there to remind and renew our vision. I am sure that we have times that we wish the uncertainties will just fade away. It will not, but I pray that it will stir us to really seek God even more, and not be afraid to face the uncertainties. At times, we worry ourselves too much with the uncertainties, rather than keeping our focus on God. Keep reminding yourself of the vision, and keep stirring yourself towards the vision. Because it is the vision that will help us overcome our uncertainties.

Building Up One Another

2008-06-05T23:58:00.005+10:00

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing"

1 Thessalonians 5:11

It is so important to remember that as we build God's church, it is about building each other up as well. No matter how great or small, how wide or deep, how far or near, whatever you do, we are here to build God's church (people), and to extend His Kingdom (to grow His church). Building each other up seems so easy, but yet, many seems to take it so lightly, expecting that someone else will do it. That's what I used to think.........leave it for other people to encourage the brother / sister.

Friends, God has called you (and me), to build one another up. In our words, in our actions, we need to learn to encourage, we need to learn to speak positively, we need to admonish one another in love, and speak in love with one another. I'm not an expert in communication, but I know that it makes a huge difference when we choose to love the person, no matter how rude they may be to you, but when you still love them with God's love, your response to them will be in love too. You will speak to them with encouragement, rather than anger or frustrations. When I think about it, I prefer people to speak to me with love, rather than in confrontations. I respond better when it comes to me with love. And that's the same that majority of people are, they respond better when it is done with love.

Sometimes we can get negative in our words, and our comments to others. Probably at times, not intentionally, but at times, it is. Such negative words can tear down the confidence of people, and at times, can have a negative influence upon the person. When God asks us to build one another up, it is to remind us that even in our personal negative mindset or situation, we should try to still encourage others. Don't let your love for others be dependent on what you go through in life. Let your love for others be upon God's love for you and them. That's how we can continue to build others up, and as we encourage, we may be encouraged ourselves.

Build each other up - cement each other together, so that there is a lot more that could be build upon (you and me). Don't underestimate the power of unity, that when you build others up, they in turn build others, and it just can keep going. Make that choice to build up others around you, don't wait for others to come to you, but you can do that today, with words of encouragement, with your giftings, with your love and care, with gifts, with acts of service, with time.........there's so many things you can build others up. God has created you with the 5 senses, not just for you, but it is for you to bless others.

With your eyes - see the needs of others and step out to help

With your ears - give time to others to listen

With your mouth - take time to affirm and encourage others

With your nose - take time out to walk alongside others and breath the air with them

With your hands/touch - give others a hug/shoulder to cry on whenever.

Let us spur one another on towards the good works that Christ has called us to. It's not just my job, but yours as well.

Strength of Compassion

2008-05-25T23:44:00.003+10:00

I am not sure what sort of feeling you bear as you listen and watch the tragedies in Myanmar and Sichuan. In me, it has stirred not just emotional sadness, but it has brought about a heart wrenching burden, which I can't express with words. I want to do more than just donation alone, but it has stirred in me to want to be part of re-building the lives of people.

I was watching the coverage of the Sichuan earthquake, and seeing the loss and grief that people have gone through has broke my heart. However the more touching scene, is seeing the love of the workers, who have lost their own families, stepping out to show love and rescue all those out there. Looking at it, made me realise that there is such strength and resilience in the love and compassion of human. No matter how selfish a person may be, in the light of suffering, there seems to be many who would still care for one another.

I'm sure God hears the prayers of many Christians, crying out for the lives of people in Sichuan and Myanmar. Our God is a compassionate God, I have no answer why such tragedies have to happen, just like the 9/11 at WTC, I have no answer. But I know that God is a compassionate God, and that He will desire to bring healing and love into the people who have gone through such. However, these people will never experience God's healing and love if we as Christians do not step out to bring the physical healing, hope and life back into these ones. It really challenges one ...... what would we do to step out to bring God's love practically unto others.

The question that is burning in my heart.............How can we rebuild the lives of all these ones? I've got a pair of hands, and just a simple heart, God .......... use me. This is my prayer, I don't know what to do, but pray. I don't know how God can use this situation to turn people back to Him. But I believe in the compassion of God, that He loves all these ones who are hurting and grieving. Psalm 86 tells of God's compassion, and that His love and mercies are everlasting.

Psalm 86
A prayer of David.
1 Hear, O LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.
2 Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my God; save your servant who trusts in you.
3 Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I call to you all day long.
4 Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
5 You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.
6 Hear my prayer, O LORD; listen to my cry for mercy.
7 In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me.
8 Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord; no deeds can compare with yours.
9 All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, O Lord; they will bring glory to your name.
10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.
12 I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave. [a]
14 The arrogant are attacking me, O God; a band of ruthless men seeks my life— men without regard for you.
15 But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
16 Turn to me and have mercy on me; grant your strength to your servant and save the son of your maidservant. [b]
17 Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me

Let the love of God flow. My heart goes out to all the children who have lost their parents, and as well to all the parents who have lost their children. If that's your burden too..........why don't you spend time, right now, to pray together, for all these ones - that their lives can have hope, that they can once again find strength to live because of the love and compassion of God.

Creation of man vs Creation of God

2008-05-22T21:15:00.009+10:00

How ingenious man are today............I visited the Singapore flyer today, and was awed by the intricacies of the engineering of this Singapore icon. Amazingly today, when you think about it, man could almost engineer anything as long as the brian could think up of it. I don't study architecture or civil engineering, but I can see that so much details need to go into the building of any structure. This brought me to really think and be even more amazed at how then God has created us. So perfectly He has made us to be, how our organs, and features of the whole body seems to be so in place, but when you look into it in detail, there is so much that has gone in to it to create such a beautiful human person.

Be more in awe when you think............all those buildings and structure (olympic stadiums, tall buildings, the Singapore flyer and etc.....), requires heaps and heaps of teams of engineers, designers, builders, and etc..... to build it, and I'm sure the make up of a human body will be as detailed as all those buildings and structure......but it is created by God alone. Isn't that amazing, and beyond human understanding? I can never understand how the human body and everything that is required to make it function could be so perfectly planned out. Well, it is not human engineers who did it, but it is God........and hence how wrong it is for people to try to clone human beings today, because it will never be possible, and it is going against the plans of God, to try to act like God. Only God can create such beautiful beings like you and me.

Here's some photos for you to be in awe about:

so many bits and pieces of steel.........

can't really see it in the photo, but it's really complicated

the final product - SINGAPORE FLYER

Inside the capsule...........it can take up to 28 people in 1 capsule, fully air-conditioned

the tallest point

the capsule next to us........this point can only be achieved when we are at the highest point, next to each other

behind me.......they are building the floating soccer field

Take a Break, Have a cup of coffee

2008-05-15T00:33:00.004+10:00

This is something that I have been wanting to share. I think it is so wrong when we look at what it says.........but when we learn to look at it in a different perspective, it brings us to realise that it is a whole new ball game.

In the last couple of weeks, it has been a personal challenge for me to really grow in trusting God for salvations of non believers, and it has brought me to a new sense of urgency to really step out and share. I was sharing with a friend of mine for a while, and things in life has cause my friend to draw further away from God. I have always said to her, I'll keep praying for her situation, and always encouraged her towards God. But things have taken a slight different route, and I knew that I got a little side tracked too and didn't talk to her more about God, and encouraging her in God. And I was "prompted" one day by God to write an email to this friend, and to really specifically tell her to trust God. And shared with her that it is God who will open the door. And amazingly, about 2 weeks now, this friend's situation has taken a turn for the better. Although there is no outcome yet, but I know that it is God who is moving in her life.

This day.........would we keep doing the work of God of sharing His love??? Hope you'll enjoy the video below. Because I did, and I thought it is such a good way to tell us to look at things from a positive and strengths way, so even when there is a negative word "give up", it can be turned around, when it is for God.

AIM LOWER, THINK SMALLER, GIVE UP, GO HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE

The Perfect Timing

2008-05-09T22:51:00.003+10:00

In Ecc 3:1, it says," There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven;" Ever wondered when is that time for everything? And when God says everything, does it mean all good and bad? or even the easy and tough times? Sometimes we go through life and struggle through some seasons of our lives. We complain, we get frustrated, we feel lonely, we become upset, everything just don't seem to be in the right tune in that season. And we just resigned it to fate. But I realise that even in those times, we should not just leave it to fate, but we need to trust in God's perfect timing. That He has brought those trials into our lives, not for us to complain and get upset, but He has brought it, sowe learn that it is our attitude that will get us to "sing in the right tune".
God wants us to go through every activity, not just the good ones, but even the difficult ones. In the last few months of my life, I must say that it hasn't been the easiest times in my life. There were many challenges. It came to some point that I felt that maybe the sun wasn't going to rise again - I wondered about where the strength and hope is going to come from? But now when I look back, I realise that they aren't so difficult, but rather they were a preparation for me to move on to the next level of my faith in God. It had been tough, but I cherished the moments now because it has drawn me closer to God. It has spoken into my heart that God is faithful right to the very end. I realise that I will never have experienced God in such ways if I have never gone through those tough seasons in my life. Sometimes we fear so much to step into the challenges that God presents in our lives. We keep thinking "God, why me? why do I have to go through such things?" I do not know whether you realise then that all these is God's perfect timing to draw you closer to Him. And if you choose to keep staying in your frustration and complaining attitude, you will miss God's perfect timing.
God comes so that we can experience His revealation to us. He didn't just come to make you feel nice about Him. He came so that you can experience the truth through Him. When God brings to you the trials of live, learn to understand that it is the perfect timing of God. I'm sure God doesn't just want you to suffer, but He allows the suffering so that the victory and glory will be sweeter and glory at the end. It is His timing for you. Don't deny it, don't miss it. When I look back now, I realise that everything that has happened, happened at the right time. God knows very well what I can take and He knows clearly what He is doing as well.
Do not miss the perfect timing of God's work in your life. When God brings about it, He knows very well that that is the time you need to go through the trials. Let go of your rights to time (as in what you see as perfect timing), allow God to reveal His perfect plan to you in His perfect timing.

What is your value?

2008-05-02T17:49:00.002+10:00

Have one ever thought what is their value? How much are you worth? Or even rather What sort of value do you place upon yourself? Are you PRICELESS? or Are you WORTHLESS? I don't know what you see yourself to be, but I know in God's eyes, I'm priceless, and precious. God places a huge value upon our lives, because He gave up His one and only son for our sins. Wow, do you realise that you are worth the live of another innocent man?

I was listening to a preaching by Dr. A.R Bernard, and he said that we are God's workmanship - God created every single bit within us, but more so, we are His workmanship (as what Ephesians 2:10 says) "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." It is as if God wrote a poem about us.......He wrote about our lives, He has it all planned out that when He wrote that poem, it "rhymes", it is "beautiful" and it is "perfect". God's workmanship was for Him to enjoy, it was for Him to use. Do we realise that we are so "priceless" in the eyes of God, that even He will take time to "write out every single detail about our lives".

When I look at it, I realise then this "perfect" workmanship of God has been not so perfect, because of the value I put upon my own life. I don't see the perfect work that God has first created, and hence I don't value every single bit of my life and at times, get discontented with myself. But wow, when we learn to put great value upon our lives, we will treasure every single moment of it; we will grab every opportunity that comes up because it may be the only one; we will make every decision with great supplication before God because of fear that we may walk out of God's plan; we will love every relationship we have with people because it may be the last that you can show that love; we will run with urgency in all that we do, because we may not be able to finish everything we would like to do...........

When you truly realise the value that God has place on you, and coming to receive that same value yourself, you look at life differently. God values you greatly, He sees you with much more than you can comprehend........Don't give away that value that He has for you;

And I also want to add.......... in all things that you do, when you place value upon it, especially upon the Word of God, as you hear it preached to you......place a great value on it, because when you place a great value on it, you will take it seriously, and you will want to take it and run all the way until you see it come to past.

I don't know if it all makes sense, but remember, your value is determined by God, and when you see God's value on you, you will place great value on the things of God too

One Devotion

2008-04-26T19:57:00.002+10:00

Well, decided that I should try to revive this writing of blog, not for the sake of anything, but hopefully to glorify God. It is not that I haven't had any revelations, but it is just been so much happening, that I can't pen it all down......... In fact, this period of my life is one that I realise that God has "pushed" me to a corner, that there is no where else to turn, but to God alone only. And this being stuck in a corner has challenged me to understand that only God has the way, and only God's way is the best. Only in Him I have to trust, and only in Him I need to run to.

Don't run to the relationships of life, things of the world, career, fame or even ministry for that refuge and strength that you need. Run only unto God; Desire only for God; Serve only to God; and Love because God first love us. What is the cry of your heart today, i don't know about you.........but my cry of my heart, is that I only want God in my life, more than anything else. I want to hear Him, I want to feel His embrace, I want to enjoy His love; nothing else, but just Him alone. Many things in my life suddenly seems to come to "an end"; not as in I've lost everything, but "an end" where I realise that I need to move on; Making that decision and goal right from early 2008, or even end of 2007, to MOVE ON, has stir within my heart that I am not satisfied and I want more of God in my life; I don't want to stay stuck, I don't want to stay the same, I don't want to live the same revelations, I don't want to stay in the corner that I feel I am in, and praying this prayer, has make me made some tough decisions to push myself towards God. It is tough, it is challenging, but knowing that it will help me to Move on, it is all worth it. I don't know if you will understand, but this song below probably demonstrates some of my thoughts......

This is my cry
My one desire
Just to be where You are
Now and forever
It's more than a song
My one desire
Is to be with You
Is to be with You, Jesus

The lyrics of this song "One Desire" by Joel Houston, has been upon my heart over the last 3 months or so.

How much more can I love? I ask God....... God said to me in His still and quiet voice.........You can love more, if your one devotion is Me. That's it........ I think that speaks everything that I've been asking God. Don't love the things of the world - Just love God, and know that it will be His love that He will pour into us, that we can keep loving others with His love. Any my prayer .......... God help me to love you wholeheartedly - Deut 6:5 "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength."

Soul Strength vs Speed of Ministry

2007-12-29T23:14:00.000+10:00

Recently, I stumbled upon an article called "Soul Train" by Mindy Caliguire, from the Leadership journal, Spring 2007. It is a good reminder article about our focus in this whole Christianity walk. It talks about our soul strength, which is our inner life, inner man, and that God is the only one that can build this inner life, inner man within you, and speed - of which the speed of getting involved and committed into ministry life, and the works and tasks involved. It brought up a really important point, which caused me to stop and paused to think...........where am I today?

This important point is that if our soul strength (inner life, inner man) is left unchecked after a period of time, can cause us to fall into a mode of just doing ministry, rather than having a life in ministry. Our soul strength could be left unchecked when we are in the busyness of doing and serving in ministry, and we forget that it is God we need to focus on, not our ministry. Ministry is on a side dish, and God is the main dish. Our relationship with God needs to be the foundation of our service in ministry. This has led me to remember a long time ago, when I was serving to a point of almost burn out, God challenged me and asked me who or what am I serving, God or ministry? And once again, as I read this, I have to re-checked my heart once again, is it God or is it ministry?

Our soul strength is not dependent on how much we can do, or how fast we can complete it. Our soul strength depends on how much time we spend to get to know God. It said in the article, that our speed line (that of ministry) is defined by our soul line (our soul strength). In other words, how far and fast we go in ministry is determined by our relationship with God, how much we are receiving and getting from God. The deeper our relationship and trust is in God, the further and more intense, we will be able to last through in ministry. It is a strategic decision that we need to make, whether to care for our soul (grow in a nurturing relationship with God), for long term effectiveness, or ignoring our soul and risking burnout and frustrations.

Mindy Caliguire puts it very well "Learning to let the health of our soul determine the speed of our ministry is what it means to run the race with endurance."

I am challenged that in this new year of 2008, I am determined to grow in a stronger health for my soul, to nourish and develop it with the Word of God, so that I will be able to find the strength and grace of God to endure the trials of ministry, all the way, to the end. Like how 1 Peter 1:24-25 puts it "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever." I want to build a soul that is everlasting in God, and God's word that never fades away will help one to endure to the end. Hope you can join me in this as well.

The Miracle of Life

2007-12-27T09:23:00.000+10:00

Ever thought where did life come from, or even how precious, yet fragile life could be?
As a child, I remember, I always wondered how did life come about, as in how amazing a human body can be created with such intricacies. And how did the person who created human knew that the body has to developed in such and such a way. Of course then, I never heard or knew God, and never was I ever able to imagine that the human could be formed with such perfection. And as I write this, I know very well that God has just created us, and He even knows every single hair that we have on our body.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:30-31

That's just very much where life come from, and the very fact that God has created us makes it clear that we belong to God, the creator of life. As He gives, He can take it away as well, of course not in a bad way, but just as how Enoch walked with God, and He walked no more. And I believe in recent events in life it has caused me to continue to ponder upon life, and how urgent it is for us to continue to do the work of God until Christ returns. Despite being a phlegmatic, I am not just wanting to wait till something happens before I respond, but I want to be ready, and prepared when whatever happens, happens. One thing that really struck me
is when our brother Zion, out of his generous and brave heart, lost his life to save another person. And hearing the testimonies of his parents and friends around, made me realise that it is so important to make sure that every person, every life that we are in contact with, it may be that one and only time, that we should try to make a Godly impact and influence upon them that they may remember it. Because you do not know how God can use us in those times to draw people one step closer to Him.

Life is such a miracle and gift from God, and yet at the same time, with it being so fragile, that we should never hold on too tight to it, because there is a greater eternal life that God has promised us. And as well, with it being so precious, we should never waste it away doing things that will not draw us closer to God. And further, to realise that because it is so fragile, let's make every effort that we can to bring the good news of eternal life to others out there that do not know it yet. My prayer to God is that "God, help me to grow in you, and draw closer to you daily, and as that is my desire, may you help me to see deeper into your heart, that I may grow in a greater desire to want to bring your eternal life unto others as well." It is not enough to just be a good testimony, we need to bring the truth, we need to bring God's love even more.

Faith & Grace

2007-11-26T11:30:00.000+10:00

1 Peter 1:6-7
"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine, and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

How genuine is your faith, is it one that will stand firm through the fires, and not even be shaken? When you look at a house that gets burnt down, it doesn't stay up much longer, even the high heats can cause the building to collaspe. What is so strong that even the fire can't burn down? Even gold will perish in fire..........wow, but God's word teaches us that your faith in God can be stronger than the fire, that it can grow to that place that it will not be burn down by anything.

It goes to show that there is so much that our faith needs growing. It needs to be tested, it needs to be put through trials and fires. It needs to be tested to the extent that even when all around you falls, your faith in God will still draw you back to Him. Is that your faith today? That is the question that I asked myself this couple of days. I have been tempted to give up in certain things that I have been doing, and many a times, it is situational/circumstantial experience that cause me to just feel like giving it all in. But every time when I get there, I am reminded with the fact that God is with me, how can I not trust God?

Last night's sermon about appropriating God's grace in our lives, brings to mind again and again how great God is to me, and how much He loves me. And how much grace He lavishes on me. I'm so glad that there is such a thing as GRACE. Though you don't deserve it, but God still wants to give it to you. I feel so priviledge that God has chosen to give to those who believe in Him, His grace. His grace is more than sufficient, and when you can experience the grace of God in your life, that may spur you on to continue to stick it through with God, and grow in your faith, because of who you know God to be. I pray that you will grow in the genuiness of your faith in God as you continue to understand God's grace in your life too.

The Last One Year

2007-11-06T00:18:00.000+10:00

It has been one year, since this blog site has started. As I look back at all the different entries, I realise that God has done a lot in this last one year. Though time has flown so quickly, yet the times past has brought a lot of rough edges to smooth ones, because of the work of God. Looking at it, God has been growing in me the different fruits of the spirit, in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. How amazing that through it all, God never steer away from what He has promise us, but rather, it is our discipline to stick to God.

One of the huge area that God is really growing me in is LOVE. Loving God, deeper, and deeper each day. Every time the going gets tough, I realise that one basic principle that God reminds me of is to understand His LOVE. How great His Love is, that it embraces and emcompasses all things. 1 Cor 13 tells us all about His Love, but the question is are you able to live out what 1 Cor 13 says. It is almost impossible, but yet I find that it can be done if we choose to grow deeper in love with God, and love Him and know Him for who He is in our lives. The struggles of ministries, life, career, and everything brings me to a deeper place with God. The dryness that I went through in the times of those struggles, has brought me to a greater thirst for God. I did wonder how some people have shared that God brings us through a dryness for a purpose. That season is not just for us to feel defeated and question and doubt God, but that season is a time of testing, where God wants you to rely on Him in a deeper level. I have come to a point where I felt totally dried up like a desert, but I could never understand what has kept me going, only in the depth of my heart, I knew that God is with me, and that He is the only one that I can rely and come back to. That was like such a source of strength for me, and when I look at it, even in the downcast of my soul, I realise that God has used me still, to bless many others who do not yet know Him, and even more so, brought people back to God.

This season hasn't been the easiet of all, but yet, I do feel refreshed.......refresh to start a new season with God, and refresh to know that He has something new in plan for me, one where I can learn to grow and rely on God more. Many things when I look at it, I wondered where on earth or how i am ever going to be able to do it, but God has done it for me. And when I look at the year ahead, in 2008, there seems a lot more mountains to climb, but that feels good that there is more that we can conquer then. More new grounds and territories that we can claim for Jesus.

I pray that you too, before the year end, if you are reading this, to start looking ahead, and planning how you can equip yourself to conquer those mountains ahead. Mountains are not challenges that are hard or impossible, unless you make them to be one. Mountains are just new grounds to cover, and you need to get high to get over it. So rise up to cover those new grounds.

Walk of Faith

2007-10-29T23:55:00.000+10:00

Indeed a walk of faith as I grow in my walk with God. It is not just walking on flat, open ground, but it is coming to the point where it really felt like it is walking on a tight rope that is suspended across the valleys, and any im-balance or wrong move, will cause one to fall off. It is coming to the point where there is nothing to rely on, but only God alone. I don't really know how it feels to walk on a tight rope, I will imagine it to be really mind-boggling, that it will need one filled with faith and courage to say that they will walk on it. Personally, i think it seems crazy to even think about getting on it. I think it is safer to go sky-diving than to walk on that tight rope :)

When we look at our walk with God, I don't know whether you have experience it, but it seems like when we get comfortable with God, God will keep bringing you to until you reach a place where you realise that there is no other securities in your life, that you are left with Him alone.

That's where I see my walk of faith has come to the point of testing once again.

Fighting the different battles, and plus fighting and overcoming self-esteem, and self confidence, has been a constant challenge to realise that my security doesn't lie in my achievements, and in my goodness, or skills, but my security lies in God alone. I guess I am at times faced with the dilemma of to go on or to let it all go. Of course, I know that God desires us to keep going on, but with a "wrong intent" desire, I cry out for Jesus to come back. I laugh at it when I look at my own heart, but yet, I cry when I reflect more into it. There is one prayer that I make every other day............."God, help me to hold on, and not let go. That my confidence is placed in You alone; Even though everything may pass away, but Your Word will never return void, and I want to press on until I see the will of God fulfilled."

I do not know if you ever go through those times of dilemma.......but if you do, just as this verse as challenged me to stay on in God, I pray that it will be a blessing to you as well.

"6being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Dedicated to God alone

2007-09-20T23:09:00.000+10:00

This is for God. So much has happened, that it has brought me to the very fact that it is all for God. No matter who I am, what I do, where I am, it is truly God's grace and glory that deserves it. I am a child of God, and I get to share in His grace and glory, but it is HIS, not mine.

I awoke to the fact that I am a child of God, a child, dedicated to God. It is a blessing to be a child that is dedicated to God. Not that I never knew that, but I have come to understand even more so that I am not my own, but I am a child of God. Being this child of God has brought me to a place:
where when I feel weak, I know that I can be strong because of God.
where when I am lost, I know that I can look up to God
where when I am not able to do it, I know that God will help me
where when I feel I don't deserve it, I thank God for what He has done
where when I am hungry, I know that He will provide
where when I am down, He will pick me up

As I look more into my life, I start to realise that at times, is it all worth it? Why did God put in so much into my life, why did He sacrifice so much for me, when I really don't deserve it. My sin, and my fallen nature into the world of temptations just make me really wonder why did God persevere so much in me? Of course many of us will know that it is God's love.........but more so, purely because He has called us His sons and daughters, and we have cried out "Abba Father".

Psalms 23
1 The LORD is my shepherd, - JEHOVAH ROHI
I shall not be in want. - JEHOVAH JIREH
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, - JEHOVAH SHALOM
3 he restores my soul. - JEHOVAH ROPHE
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. - JEHOVAH TSIDKENU
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; - JEHOVAH SHAMMAH
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. - JEHOVAH NISSI
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. - JEHOVAH M'KADDESH
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

He is my all, and my life is unto Him alone. I can't let go, because I know that God will not. I am His child, dedicated to Him alone.

Salute to Judah 7

2007-09-06T00:01:00.000+10:00

As promised to all Judah 7, during the unit getaway, that I'll share it all out on the blog, here it is. Sorry that it took that long, just with the settling into new job, didn't want to stay up too late at night. But well, really have to write it out, if not, it's going to come out in a "bluraaaah".........Hahaha........too much to want to share.

Well, firstly, a salutation to all of you guys and gals who were at the getaway, but as well for those who were not there. I am truly blessed by many of your sharing, and also by many of your sincerity and generosity. It is amazing what you guys have done, although it may not have seem much to you, but it has been a tremendous blessing to me.

As I was preparing for the getaway, one of the things that really struck me strong was to build a community of love, faith and hope in the group. And that this love, faith and hope can out flow of us into all those around us. And as I prayed through it, Eccl 4:9-12 became more real to me, and as I did a bit more study around it, it just brought forth a greater assurance to me, that all of these can happen when we realise that God is the centre of it all, and that the 3rd strand of cord is God. I became excited, because I know that this is all becoming real and possible. During the getaway, I am so blessed by the sincerity of all your worship unto God, the heart to praise and worship, the heart to surrendar to God was demonstrated, and I believed that we all had that taste of heaven on that worship night. I realise then that that was just a taste, how nice if it was "as big as a meal".

Anyway, I was touched by God as well, to truly respond to step out and rise up in my leadership. But more than that, I was also touched by your humble response to desire for more of God. I just felt that corporately, as we come to hunger for more of God, that His presence will be found by all. And through the getaway, it was indeed another "taste of heaven" to see how you guys served and supported one another. I looked at it and felt, wow, I don't think i need to preach on unity anymore, you guys are already doing it. It was great to see people tolerating with one another through the different things, and even how there was no grumbles, even when we got to the waterfall, and only saw a trickle of it. Haha..........I really thought that was an amazing sight. It just gladdens my heart to see how we choose to support and love one another. And as well, to laugh with one another. Although I know some of our legs were tired, but haha, well, we all had a good workout, so that we could eat ice-cream later.

But most of all, I really want to thank and honor all of you in Judah 7 for all the great support and love that you have shown to one another and also to myself. It is indeed a joy to be leading all of you. Of course there are challenges, and issues, it is not smooth sailing, but your heart for God, for people and for one another has spur me on to keep growing so that I can lead you more. When I see how you guys served one another, and support and pray, I see Christ in you, and I pray that we'll keep doing that. As this is the influence that we want to bring to others, that they too may see Christ in us. The joy that each one of you brings to the unit is indeed a true blessing. Judah 7 wouldn't have been possible without each and individual one of you. I'm proud of you guys, and I know that you bunch of people will bring God's Kingdom far, because of your heart and enthusiasm for God. I know that we go through our daily struggles, and hearing all your sharing, really lifted my spirit. That despite that you are busy, stressed, and facing your day to day struggles, yet you all are really looking forward to the getaway, not just to have a break, but more so to be refreshed in God, and with one another. This has just brought such encouragement to my heart.

I think this sharing can go on and on and on, no words can described how grateful I am to God for all of you, and as well, nothing can be compared to all that you guys have done. You are awesome, and thank you once again. All honor and glory to God, but more than that too, you have made that difference in me, and others around. Let's keep Ecc 4:9-12 upon our hearts:

" Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves."A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Remeber we are not in God's business alone, we are with Him. "

Salute to all of you once again:
Amelia - the wonderful chef
Andy - the humble brother
Belinda - the clever girl
Charmaine - the quiet enthusiast
Diana - the talented song writer "hehe.......waiting for that song you wrote at the getaway"
Eileen - the young perseverer
Fei - the faithful supporter
Ian - the faith-filled listener - thank you for always stepping out of your comfort zone.
Sam - the joyful and cheeky entertainer
Sean - the ever willing and "Yes" man
Samuel - our resident musician
Patrick - the quiet oberserver
Derrick - the organised organiser
Paul - the careful game-master
Melissa - the "laughable" and tender loving "care bear"
Jonathan - the creative dancer (haha though I haven't seen it, but I heard a lot about it)
Rose - the faithful camera girl
Rachel - the delightful screamer (adds life in the night times)
Atieno - the sunshine of the group
Miranda - the excited praise leader
Shuling - the warmth "smily" girl

Love you all heaps. Thank you for all your blessings - you have demonstrated Acts 2 church, let's go out and influence others.

Love
joy :)

Empowerment from God

2007-08-19T09:20:00.000+10:00

How much can we rely on the Holy Spirit? Do we know that the power of God is for us to claim. How much are we tapping on the strength of God. I like how King David wrote it in Psalm 18.........

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me a shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn."

Psalm 18:32-36

There is so much that God can assist us with, do we realise that? Or are we still trying to fiddle here and there and trying to work it out on our own. Of course to balance it, it is not just expecting that God is going to do everything for us. God requires us to work with Him. But when we learn to trust in the power of God and His empowerment, there is more and greater things that can be done through us. No longer do we need to live in our own fears of whether we can do it, but it is God that can empower what we have, to do His work. And it will be His promises that come to pass, and not just our dreams and goals.

Sometimes our dreams and goals are limited by our own thinking capacity. We look at what we have, and what we can do, or have done, and set goals that are within our reach. But if we learn and discipline our minds and hearts to see that it is God's power that can move through us, to fulfill His promises, we'll learn to think BIG.

I've been recently challenged when I saw the movie "Amazing Grace" and how William Wilburforce pursued the will of God for 18 years. Wow, it's not just sheer perseverence, but it's conviction and he knew that it's God's call for him that His will be fulfilled through him (William). I then thought about how much William has sacrificed because of his faith and belief in God's power. He did let go of it for a season, but yet it still burnt deeply in his heart to see the slave trade abolished. It is truly only God's grace that has enabled William to see the will of God fulfilled. And that brought me to realise that it is by God's grace that we can receive such power and empowerment from our heavenly Father.

Wow........it just inspired me to want to do more. I've got big dreams that I have never declared, not being able to see how those dreams could come to pass with me. But when I see God in me, I start to see what God can possibly do, or even what God has started within me. I am determined to pursue those dreams, but more so, to pursue the will of God for my life until I see it come to pass. And knowing that it is only the power and grace of God that can bring me there.

Press on, my brothers and sisters, don't give up on the Grace of God upon your life, He has freely given His Grace into your life, not for you to freely waste it away, but for you to claim it and live out the "freedom" He has promised. Start dreaming those big dreams for Him, and let Him speak into your heart.

Thank you God, It's over

2007-08-11T07:45:00.000+10:00

Sounds like a funny title, but that's how I felt. Yesterday, I resigned from my current job, and amazingly a weight seems to be lifted from my shoulders, and I felt relieved. I never realised how much burden I've been carrying in this job, and it made me realised that God has a purpose for this weight to be there, and for it to be lifted. It has been 6 months of trying to find a new job, and like i've shared before, it's amazing that God has not opened all the doors that I thought was good, because God has the best for me. But I just want to take this opportunity to thank God for many things over the 6 months, despite it being one of the most challenging times in my life.

I remember sharing with my sheep during shepherding, about my experience so far, I came to realise that God has done so much, that I haven't had time to sit and reflect, and thank God sincerely. I have learnt so much in growing in my leadership, and have allowed God to stretch me in my leadership. More so as well, to learn so much about what is integrity, and what is not, and even to come to see someone who demonstrates integrity is "detested" by others. It is like a battle between the righteous and unrighteous, and how much God allows the battle to happen, so as to strengthen the righteous, and cause the righteous not to be moved, but to stand firm on their grounds of integrity. As well, been involved in senior management at work has also open my eyes to the ugliness of poor managment of politics. I have been looking and observing and thinking, wherever there is people, there will be politics, and the challenge for a leader is how they will manage those politics, and how they can lead others to be there with them as well. It was appalling when I was exposed to the cruelty of human beings when they mixed professionalism and personal boundaries. This just lead to the downfall of management, and the outcome is poor management of politics, and of course people become hurt, angry and frustrated. It was even more heart breaking when you realise that the poor professionalism of a manager is hindered by unforgiveness in their personal life. This just made me wake up and be reminded that one cannot have unforgiveness, it will grow to become bitterness, and bitterness when not dealt with causes one to sin.

A part of me felt great injustice about many things that have happened, but i thank God that He has granted me patience and grace to not jump into dealing with injustice, but to leave the vindication to God. I believe that the righteous will stand and the unrighteous (no matter how big and powerful they might be now), they will fall. I have prayed and have clear directions from God that it's no point being stuck in the cycle and allow myself to become bitter about it all. Yes I was and am still hurt but yet I have chosen to forgive, and will not be critical about the whole thing, but rather, to still love. And I think that was what has set me free too, to just feel that sense of relieve, and that sense of "Thank God........I'm so glad I've finished this chapter with you".

Finally as well, I really thank God for the relationships that have been build in the workplace. The support, the network, and the care is something that I will not exchange for. Ministry is truly about people, and these are lives that God has placed in my pathways, and I believe that the relationship build will be one that will continue, so that God's love will continue to flow to them, through me. I pray that these relationships will be presevered, and I pray that God will continue to use me to be a blessing in the lives of others.

Yesterday when I was on my way home, the song that came up kept singing about the faithfulness of God........and indeed, God is faithful, and whether we have the patience to wait for His best timing for us.

** just to let people know too...........the new chapter of my working life will start again in September. That will be another exciting new journey, dealing with the bureaucrats of the government.

Medicine to Stress

2007-08-07T21:53:00.000+10:00

What can I say? It has been a month since I blogged. Not that I'm concern how frequent I blog, but I realise that I've bottled so much in me, to want to write, that now, I am writing, I can't get it all out in one nice piece. Anyway, to sum it all up, the last month has been one of the most stressful months of the year so far, and perhaps, maybe in my last couple of years. I couldn't recall ever been at that "maximum stress point" for a long time. But I believe that God was putting me through it to squeeze out all that was not right, and to mold and stretch me to the "perfect" person He is creating in me. Of course I am not perfected yet, but yeah, I can feel God "forcing" me to grow, and stretch to my maximum.

I use to say that sleep is a good way to sleep off the stress, but in this moment of stress, sleep has not helped, but I have found myself to be sleeping even lesser, and lesser, to the point that I am so tired, I can't sleep. Because when I sleep, I do not have peace, and I will wake up even more unsettled.

Anyway, I came to such a stretch point, that I came before God, feeling so broken, and tired, that I asked God to take it away. I lay before God, daily, my worries, my stress, anything I could think of. I put it to God, and ask God to take the "stretch" away from me. But every time, I know in my heart, God is asking me to hang on a bit more, to hold on some more, until He provides the way out of my situation. I was reminded time and time again about my prophecy, of how I would be one that would hold on even when others around me fall away. I "bite my tongue" over and over, to push myself beyond the limit that I see myself able to get to, and kept telling myself that this is of God, and He is with me, and He has called me to this.

What I really want to get to is that ...... whatever that I'm going through, I cannot do it by my own. I realise that going through all these made me rely on God even more, to come into His presence even more, to seek Him even more. There was no stopping of me to think that I can get it through by my own. But there was a great hope within my heart that only God can help me through this time. I have felt God so close many times when I seek Him, that I can only cry, feeling His breathe upon my face...........that warmth just brings me to know that He has a plan for all of these. In my flesh, I wanted to give up, but in my heart and spirit, I struggled to rise over my flesh, and chose to stand firm in God's way.

When time and time again, when triggers arise, and my stress gets out of hand, one thing that helped me to keep my focus is to turn to find God, and choose to stand on His promises and His ways. This brought forth much peace that I can't imagine. Of course, not to say that it is all sorted out, but very much, it helps me to see God in all of the situation, and how He can bring victory into all of it.

God is our shelter, our refuge, our strong tower of strength. His walls that cover over us, will never fall because of the foundation of His love for us. His love is undeniable, and is everlasting. There is no condemnation, and there is nothing that can separate us from the love that Christ has given unto us. Let's turn to Him for that spiritual medicine when we are going through our moments of crisis.

The Plan of God

2007-07-08T08:55:00.000+10:00

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

This passage Jeremiah 29:11-13, says so well how God has it all plan, and whether we'll choose to believe in Him, and know that He has the best for us. As humans, at times, I realise that we can't help it but we try to go with what we think is better for us, than to wait for God to show us what His best is for us. Especially if it is after a period of waiting. How much waiting can a human survive through??? I wondered........... Anyway, that's not my point, but I have been learning in the last 6 months, about waiting for God's plan. Even when I don't see it, to have faith that God will provide.

I've been looking for a new job for the last 6 months, sent in quite a number of applications for positions to work with youth and children. I have been wanting to change a job and industry focus, and have been praying, and didn't hear God say no, but did have peace to try out the different options. So here I am, in fact 90% of the jobs that I've applied for, called me in for interview, but well, none of it turn out successful. I rang all of them to get feedback, and it was all "You did really well, and you would have been the next in line, just that there was another person who was better." It came to a point that I wondered if I'm ready to move on, or even started to questioned my own ability. But well, now looking back I realise that God has a purpose in putting me through all those, and closing all those doors.

Recently, I've been given an opportunity in my current workplace to take on a senior role - to be in management. There was a bit of a "crisis", and my manager left. It was a huge impact upon me, because I have looked up to her so much, and her mentorship over me has taught me tremendously. I wanted to leave as well, but I had a prompting in my spirit to stay on to be the "salt & light" to the rest of the people in the team and workplace. I spend that 1 night (when everything happened), praying and asking God to show me why? Why me???? And God reminded me of one of my prophecies .......... "though others (even leaders) may go, but He will strengthen me to stand up in those times to lead". I cried before God, and said that I don't know how but just gave it all to Him. It came to this point that I know deep in my heart, that my only motivation to go to work is because God has called me.

Wow, that was a real revelation and challenge to my heart. But after a week of thinking through and praying, it was clear in my heart and mind that God has closed all those other doors very clearly, but because of my human desire, I kept on doing what I wanted. And when God took it all away, and showed me the "biggest" door He has opened, it just dawn upon me that God wanted to test me to see if I will still trust Him. Think about it ............. I have been searching for job for 6 months, and then all of a sudden, "BANG" the door was open, but it's the most unexpected door that God has opened.

Well, all I can say is that God's sovereign plan is the best. He will bring out the best in you and to you, if you will let Him. I have never felt so broken and weak before Him, but I guess it is in our contriteness that the greatness of God can be revealed. Praise God!!!

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. Ps 18:30

Gentleness

2007-06-19T23:42:00.000+10:00

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Galatians 5:22-23

Gentleness, one of the fruit of the holy spirit.

Recently, I have been reading a book "Men are from Israel, Women are from Moab". It talks about the characteristics of Ruth & Boaz. And there was so much that I learnt. One of the things that really stood out to me is the characteristic of GENTLENESS in Boaz. It says that healthy women are attracted to gentle men. Despite the fact that the society may see gentleness as a feminine trait, but the Bible holds up men as the model of gentleness. As read in the different scriptures:

1 Thess 2:7 "As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, 7but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children."

1 Tim 3:3 " not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. "

2 Tim 2:25 "Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth,"

The book mentioned that "gentleness" is a character that God places a high value on, and just like Boaz, he has demonstrated his gentleness in how he treated Ruth although she is a "foreigner" on his land, not only did he not chase her away or humiliate her, but he told his men to take care of her and they were instructed not to be rude to her either. Only one with such gentleness will be able to shower such grace over others.

As I think about how much gentleness is seen as a weakness in the society today, it needs to be a perspective that has to be changed. Personally when I look at it, I realise that God is so faithful to grant me such a gentle man like Han. It has never occured to me that such character has got such great strengths, until I look deeper, then do I realise that there is so much beneathe that gentleness. The patience that he has shown me has taught me to show more grace and patience; The love he has given has made me want to love God's people more; The care he has showered me with has brought me to be more caring; The person he is has brought out the strengths in me. I am truly so blessed.

"Greatness lies not in being strong, but in the right use of strength." Henry Ward Beecher

One Life, One Love and One Heart

2007-06-10T01:23:00.000+10:00

The lyrics of this song tells of my prayer to God...........

ONE LIFE, I LAY AT YOUR ALTAR
ONE LOVE, I HAVE WITH YOU
TOUCH ME AGAIN
FILL ME AS YOU HOLD MY OUTSTRETCHED HANDS
ONE WORD, YOU KNOW I WILL FOLLOW
ONE HEART, BROKEN TO YOU
USE ME AGAIN
YOUR MERCIES FOLLOW ME FOR ALL MY DAYS

When i heard this song, I was very touched by it, because it says of my heart so much, to want to give it all to God, and God alone. It was like a renewal of my love unto God again since my salvation.

That one life, one heart and one love is for God alone. Is it truly just for God, or is it for the things of the world. Where does your one life, one heart belongs? As for me..........my one life, one heart and one love belongs to the Kingdom of God. It is not about me, it is about God. I like what Ps. Jeff preached today, he said that it is not about you. That reminds me once again that it is not my achievements, or my skills, and etc....... but it is God's achievements, glory and it is His and all His alone.

This is a constant call and reminder to humility, that no matter how much and well you perform, it is not about you (or me), it is about God.

God is in control

2007-06-07T13:16:00.000+10:00

Since I came to know Christ, it has always been evident to me that God is in full control, and He always know what is best. However, the human mind sometimes questioned whether God knows what is best. I'm not sure if any of you may have felt the same as I did, where in our heart, and logical thinking, certain things seem so clear to us why God shouldn't give or allow it to happen in our lives. And of course, as we wait, it didn't happen, and then we start to question if God truly knows what He is doing.

I have been reading the book of Exodus, and praying through it, just as we listen to the weekly expository sermons on Exodus. I am personally blessed by the hand of God over the Israelites, and it just brought me to a greater revelation about God's soverignty and the notion that HE IS the COMMANDER, IN CHARGE. I was reading the part when Moses and the Israelites were at the red sea, and at then there was no way ahead, and the people started to complain and get angry at Moses, and as Moses cry out to the Lord, there was the assurance that God will fight for them, and that God will be with them.

"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Exodus 14:13-14

It was clear that God has it all in control. Even when He chose to harden the hearts of the Pharoah, and allowed Pharoah and his army to pursue the Israelites. God allowed that to happen, but that's just because He is in control, and He will not let the Israelites perish in the hands of the Egyptians.

This whole story led me to think and ponder over my situation, where I've been anxiously and eagerly searching for a new job. There have been a couple of times that I thought and reasoned, that that's the perfect sort of job for me to learn and eventually use those skills for church full time ministry, and in my heart, prayed "according to my own will" that I'll get the job, and setting it like a condition to God. But when I look at it all now, I felt that I have been deceiving myself. And as well, have set myself on such high expectations, that when I didn't get any of those jobs, I wondered if I've done something wrong, and that's why God is not giving me the job "I desire". I learnt, it is more important to allow God to do what He knows is best, and to leave it in His control. He may have harden the hearts of those employers, but in His good timing, He will open the right door. I don't understand it myself at times, but can only come back to the basics of Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." It is just simply coming back to trusting God, even when I can reason it out with my mind.

Colossians 3:12-14

2007-05-15T19:36:00.000+10:00

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever greivances you have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave. And over all these virtures, put on love which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Have we ever wondered why the last part was added in........about love binding all the virtues together?

Have we ever thought through why 1 Cor 13 was written............ "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Have we challenged ourselves to live out the 2 greatest commandment "to love God and to love your neighbours as yourself"

Have we ever tried Matthew 5:44............ "Love your enemies"

I'm sure we are not surprise why love has to be in the midst of everything, because love covers over a multitude of sin, and God is LOVE. Recently, it has been an ongoing thought upon my mind and heart that God's love needs to be demonstrated, and shown and shared to everyone that's around me. And how much of God's love do I have to be able to give that all in everything that I do. I have been put in positions and stages in life where I have learnt that it is not easy to love those that don't normally "fall in your comfort zone" to love. One of those things is to love the weaknesses of people. And not to judge the weaknesses of people, and not to correct the weaknesses of people - of course balancing that, is that we should still learn to encourage and remember to encourage with love, not with judgement and expectations. This testing is right in my face, with my colleagues, bosses, friends, and even my loved ones, I am stirred not to just judge those weaknesses, but to love them still for who they are, and encourage them with God's love.

God's love came with no condition, it is freely given, and freely shown. Are we able to demonstrate that same love. I cried out to God.............God help me to show your love to others. Forgive me of trying to love with my own capacity and own strength. Help me, humble me, and change my heart. Let the love of God flow from me, let people see, experience and be touched by God's love demonstrated through my faith and actions. Thank you Jesus. Amen.

Decisions.........

2007-05-10T00:06:00.000+10:00

I am sure many of us have come to stages in life that we have to make some sort of major decisions, whether is it with regards to life, ministry, relationship, studies, career, and many other things. Have you ever asked what is it that you make your decisions base upon? Is it upon the foundations of God? or the foundations of your experiences?

Well, that is the challenge..........what sort of decisions are we making today. Of course not to say that even when you are deciding what to eat, you need to ask yourself if it is of God or of experience, but at least in the more significant decisions. Recently, I have been faced with the challenge of making decisions about my career. It is a wonder how monetary values can sometimes be so "inviting" than Godly values. Of course in the head knowledge, you know that you should go back to God and seek Him, rather than just look at the material gains. However, it's amazing how our mind can be tempted so easily. (haha........shouldn't say it's amazing, but rather I'm "ashamed" that my mind thinks of all these temptations). Anyway, I have been searching for a change in career, and I have been challenged to seek God, and allow Him to open the right doors. I have been to a few interviews, and still nothing has changed, and I wondered if God has a plan for me to stay on at where I'm currently at. And of course at the same time, with me wanting to leave, I've got my manager wanting me to stay, and offering me new opportunities to stay. It really then start to stir within my heart.......is this of God? But the other part of me really wants a change, and doesn't really want to stay on at where I'm at.

I have to come back to God constantly to ask Him to do His will, that it will be His timing and His will about whether I get a new job. It is hard, because many times, it is your desire that you are trying to please. Like I know that with me searching for a new job is because the current one doesn't satisfy my desire, and I'm tired of it, and frustrated with the normal politics of the organisation. But then the question is ..........is getting a new job God's will for me now? When I think of all these, I was led back by Jesus's example when He said that "His food is to do the will of God". And I have to ask myself, if that's the same motivation of mine? This really changed my perspective, that I have to submit it under God's will, and not my desire; and it needs to be base upon my Godly values, and not personal experiences.

What is it for you today? Are your decisions founded upon God's values or your personal experiences? Have you even considered God in your decisions? Or why are you making those decisions?

J-esus O-thers Y-ourself

2007-05-01T08:55:00.000+10:00

For a long time, I have always lived with this framework of life, where Jesus is the Lord of my life, and it is always others that will come before myself. Even in the Scriptures, it says that "each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others" Philippians 2:4. And at where I am today, I realise that this framework of life has strengthened me to keep serving God and others.

I have been thinking about this framework a fair bit lately, and do realise that this is not just a framework for my Christian living, and daily living, but also a framework for my work. Recently in a class where everyone has to present their emerging framework, I struggled whether I should be preaching the gospel framework that I have and hold. I thought for a long time, and wondered if it will be accepted, or would I be marked down. A voice in me asked me this question "Why should I be afraid to share the gospel framework of JOY?" Why should I try to find a framework that fits into the world's systems? What is wrong with my personal framework?

I thought through it before the presentation, and felt led in my heart to write about my personal framework, and how the values in the Bible influences and form my framework to work. I hesitated about being outright in presenting about Jesus, but when I was in class, a classmate presented wholeheartedly on "Buddhism Zen", and I thought, oh.................I'm so ashamed that I didn't just step out to present "Jesus". And I prayed in my heart to ask God to help me...........and the next day, when it was my turn to present, I stepped out in faith, and presented "Jesus" in the framework of JOY, and also some other biblical values (like Body of Christ, and the two greatest commandments). To my surprise...........it was well accepted in the group of people that I presented to, and my lecturer was there too. They even commented on how amazing the framework of JOY is, and that was when I realise that I shouldn't be ashamed of Jesus in my life.

Well, this expereience taught me that I should not be hiding the life of Jesus in me. It is a major part of my life, and I should not be ashamed of it. Whether I get praises or persecution from preaching the Gospel, I should "press on" like Paul, and not stop sharing about this wonderful Jesus in my life. Be it in the secular world of studies and work, Jesus should never be just kept in my heart, Jesus needs to be shared to the people out there.

As I look back, I do thank God that in my workplace, everyone knows that I am a Christian, and that I have shared with them my love for God and for people, and my committment to God and church, however, I realise that a lot more needs to be done. Many of my colleagues and managers have come to me and said that I have an amazing strength to persevere in the work that I'm doing, I should have outwardly proclaim that it is God who has empowered me to do so. It is because of His love that I'm still doing what I do.

I just want to encourage all of us that we should not be hiding the "Joy" from people around you. They are the ones who witness your lives day in and day out, let them see Jesus in and out of you, and be bold to share it with them.

I'm Reaching For Your Heart

2007-03-31T02:28:00.000+10:00

The hunger and thirst for God just needs to get deeper and deeper. That's my conclusion, if not, we'll get complacent at where we are at in our relationship and walk with God. In the last 4 weeks or so, I've been fasting, and praying and seeking God. One thing that God has not failed to reveal to me in the last 4 weeks constantly, is the need to draw back to God. There is a need to grow in our hunger for more of God in our lives.

As I fasted and sought God, I come to realise that the hunger that I go through (spiritually), can only be filled with the Spirit of God, can only be filled by the power of God. I asked God daily to come and fill me, and the hunger just keeps growing to want to know God more, to want to spend more time with God, to want to just draw so close to Him. I can't explain the feeling, but it's like I want to give up everything in my life, to just want to be with God. I have come to a point at work, in life, that I am not seeing the value of what I do in life, that I just want to be closer to God.

I want to worship God all my life. I just want to look to God. I realise that it isn't that easy to just give up everything to just be with God. And I cried out, and asked God, I want to reach out for His heart, I want to be closer to Him, and I am not satisfied at my relationship with Him. I just feel that there is so much more for me to come to know and worship Him.

I'm reaching for Your Heart
You hold my life in your hands
Drawing me closer to you
I feel your power renew
Nothing compares to this place
Where I can see you face to face
I worship you in Spirit and in truth

Truly the lyrics of this song, tells of my heart......... that I want to be where He is, as He draws me closer, it is like He is there face to face. There is nothing that can be compared to where God wants to draw us to. So close that we can smell and breath His breathe......so close that we can feel and touch the heart beat of God. That is my heart cry to want to be with God. What is your heart cry today? How much of us would cry out for God, to reach out to touch His heart. Don't let it be a lip service today, but a heart service unto God. That we want to connect heart to heart with God. Let it be His power that will renew you. Let it be His Spirit that will fall afresh on you.

Acts 2:25-28

David said about him: " 'I saw the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will live in hope, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.

The Test of Faith

2007-03-20T22:50:00.000+10:00

Have you ever wondered why our faith needs to be tested?

Faith that's tested, is fatih that has been stretched. And the real test comes when everything doesn't turn out the way you expects it to. In the last 2 months or so, I don't know if it is a test of my faith or not, but I sure know that my faith has been stretched, and I can still feel that God is stretching it further. I've come to the point that every thing that I go through, I feel so helpless, and drowning, that I only find comfort in coming back to God and relying on Him. In ministry, in work, in relationship, in studies, in all of my life. I came to that point of feeling so "small", that only 1 thing will work, and that is to come back and seek God.

I have tried doing it all, and solving it all with my strength and knowledge, but am too tired doing it all, that I felt, there is only 1 way, and that is to come back to seek God. Recently, on a Friday that I needed to preach in a unit evangelistic meeting, I felt so "oppressed" and "strangled" before the meeting, that I had the thought to back out and not go. It was so bad I couldn't focus at work, and I just felt to pray. I spend about almost an hour before the meeting just praying. It brought me peace after that, and all I knew then is that I need to rely on God.

And then recently at work as well, been a few challenges, and then faced some more failures in trying to seek new jobs, and came to that point that I can only continue on in my current job because of God's grace in my life. Again I was pointed back to rely on God, and not doubt God in what He's doing in my life. The thought that crosses my mind is "why does it seem so easy for others to just get a new job, and so hard for me?" I was upset with God for a short moment, but then was reminded that He knows the best for me. So i didn't continue to dwell on it.

To add to all that, I had the dilemma of studies, wondering whether I am being foolish to continue my studies this semester, or to postpone it. I went to class, felt such a turmoil in me, to the point that I thought I was going crazy. Wow, I felt then again, I need to rely on God. I wondered what is happening. I spent some time just crying out to God and allowing His Spirit to release that oppression in me.

And finally, ministry .............. but I know I didn't need to go through all that to know that it is about relying on God again. Well, faith tested will emerge stronger. I'm sure God is growing my faith in Him, to rely on Him more, and to trust even when things ahead are overwhelming. In my heart, I prayed and told God, I'll never give up on Him. Though outwardly I am pushing to "swim to the surface", I know that inwardly, God is encouraging me that He is the one that's pushing me. How comforting a thought to know that God is the one that's at the end. I know that this test will break something in me to the point that I can only come back to God. Everything that I seem to know to rely on is not there, except God..........that's how I feel.

I wondered how Job felt when he went through all those testings. When I am not focused in God, it will be as if God has left me completely in the situation that I am in, yet I know that is not true, because God cares, and He cares enough to make sure that I remember how to come back to rely on Him. This day, if you are reading this, I'm not sure how much of it makes sense to you, but I want to say that God wants you and I to know "He is there, waiting for us to fall back and lean on Him."

The Amazing Creation of God

2007-02-25T13:55:00.000+10:00

Well, what could you say.....................when I saw my beautiful niece born, and the lovely face, and active hands and feet, i don't know what to say. I could only look in awe at how beautiful the creation of God is. I never could imagine that such a cute thing comes out from the mummy's tummy, and that it is so perfect that the human mind is not able to comprehend how it all began. I don't know if you have ever wondered................i seldom did, but when I look at my niece, it just really took my breaethe away to realise that God has it all so well planned, to know how to make His lovely children. That really put my mind at ease to know that God knows it so well, right through to every single detail and it is one that no one could even work out how it's done. Only God knows. And that brings me to the assurance that God has my life all in plan, and if only I could trust God completely, to leave Him to make me to be more perfect. Why should I have to worry, if God can create us right from the beginning to be so perfect, that God could change and mold us to be even more Christlike. However, it is for us to trust in Him, and for us to let Him do what He desires in us.

I'll not say any further, but enjoy the beautiful creations of God.

Psalm 139:13-18

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because

I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be.
How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake,

I am still with you.

EXTRAVAGANCE

2007-02-24T09:39:00.000+10:00

"Let's offer an extravagant worship unto the Lord."

Extravagance seems to always go with giving. And it's not just giving as a tip, but it is giving more than what you can give.

I was reading about the lady who broke the perfume bottle (vase) and poured it over Jesus.............I was really touched by her act, and God spoke in my heart, when was the last time that I broke the vase for Him?

Then Mary took about a pint[a] of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. ..........."Leave her alone," Jesus replied. " It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me." John 12:3, 7-8

It presented a challenge to my giving unto the Lord. I believe that it is not just about giving a lot that says extravagance, but it is the motivation of giving of all that says extravagance. We can have a lot, but only give a little, but yet we can have little and give a lot.

Mary, she was willing to give up her most expensive possession to Jesus, and choose to anoint Jesus with the perfume. According the the days then, it was crazy to do that. The perfume was worth more than a year's wages, and she knew that she would not have anything after she gives it to Jesus. One would have thought that maybe Mary could have just dab a few dab of the perfume on Jesus, but yet, Mary "BROKE HER VASE", and pour it all...........ALL.............to Jesus. Wow, she didn't even hesitate, but she gave it all. She probably faced a lot of criticisms then, where people probably criticised her for her waste and not being wised.

But hey.............hang on, look at what Jesus said. He's very pleased, and even rebuked those who criticised her. I believe the heart of Jesus is not saying that we need to give "a lot" before He is pleased, but He sees our heart even as we give. And I'm sure Jesus felt really blessed at that time.

This brings me to the question of Extravagant Worship unto the Lord. How much are we giving it to the Lord, in our serving, in our worship, in our love to Him. God doesn't just want us to be doing extravagance, but God wants that extravagance to outflow from our hearts unto Him. When we serve Him with extravagance, it is knowing that we do ministry to our very best, and even more, not for the sake of trying to outshine anyone, but for the sake of Christ. That really brings me to ask myself, am i serving God with my gift fully? Even when I think I've done my best, am I willing to go extra and do even better than my best? That's when I really have to break the vase.

It seems like a high standard of excellence when I say to do even better than my best. But when I think about it, if we only set it to the best, then, we'll only aim at a certain level to reach the best, and that's what we already can do. But when we aim to do even better than our best, we reach higher, and that's when we know that in our own capacity and ability, we can't do it, and it is for God that we try, and for us to rely on God even more.

I realise that I need to change my attitude about just doing my best. I think sometimes, when we say that it is my best that I can offer, it felt like it's an excuse to only grow up to a certain level. But I'm challenged to do even better than my best, so that I can always offer even more unto God, that it will not just be my best, but it will be my extravagance unto God.

An eagle will not soar high if they think they can only fly above the valleys and mountains. However, we see that the eagle has flown to the ends of the earth, it goes to show that they always keep trying to reach as high. I want to soar like an eagle, that will touch the heavens. Would you?

The Pursuit of God

2007-01-25T14:17:00.000+10:00

Chasing after God is always something that I personally think is a mystery. Just imagine, how do you chase after something you cannot see, and what can motivate one to keep chasing after something that you do not physically see. It amazes me how one can be pursuing so wholeheartedly, what is it that stirs them, what inspires them, and where did the energy come from?

One passage that I read, and have always been challenged by is what Paul stated in Philippians 3:7-8

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ"

When I look at Paul's heart, it stirs within me the conviction and devotion that Paul had. I become really challenged that am I considering all things in my life uncomparable to the knowledge of Christ in my life? Is Christ so important to me that I will chase and pursue after Him, and not be afraid of losing anything else in my life. As I meditate on this scripture even more, it stirs me to see that it is not just everything I have, but whatever was to my profit, it is not comparable to knowing Christ Jesus. It is like giving up all your life, to just come to know God.

"Am I willing to give up my life to come to know Christ deeper?"
"Am I willing to give up my comfort to come to know Him more?"
"Am I willing to give up my work to serve God more?"
"Am I willing to give up my friendship, relationship to just seek His heart deeper?"

These are questions that I think will be a challenge to answer, how much am I willing to give up to just know God more. Paul is willing to give it all up to just seek God wholeheartedly, am I able to live up to Paul's convictions.........I am challenged, because when I look at it, I don't know if I'm ready to give it all up just to know Christ deeper. It felt like I want the cake, and I also want to eat it. I want to know Christ deeper, but I also want to still keep all I have. But I realise that all these other things that I have in life distracts me a lot from coming to know Christ deeper. And maybe that's why God says so clearly that you should only be serving one master.

When I look at my life, no wonder I seem so far from where God is calling me to, because I don't know Him deeper, and that's just because there have been so much other focus in my life - work, relationship, ministry, and that it has been so hard at times to just prioritise to say that it is just for God alone. As I prayed more, I am just so much more convicted that my purpose in life is to pursue after God alone. The pursuit of God should be one where one runs with the perseverance............just as how Hebrews 12:1-2 says:

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders, the sin that so easily entangles, and run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

This year, this is my motto - "to pursue and seek after God, and not just do what I have to do" I want to grow in my conviction that my pursuit of God can be reflected in how everything is considered rubbish, only unless it brings an increase towards more of Christ. I pray that God will lead me to more of Him in my life. Hallelujah!!!

It is for HIM alone

2007-01-20T22:58:00.000+10:00

It has been a while since I last put in an entry. Personally, it has been a busy start to the new year, but also one that is exciting and challenging. I have actually so much to share that I do not know where to start from...........

One conviction that God has really laid upon my heart recently as I prayed for my goals for this new year, is that I want to put God first above all else, where nothing else comes before God. It is a constant struggle, not that I have not known, but to put it into action in all areas of my life. I tend to find that when I get busy with work, ministry, I tend to have thoughts to give God a miss that day. And until the end of the day, when I pray and chat with God, I realise that ..........opps, I forgot to spend time with God that day. Being honest, it has happened to me a few times, and I really felt so guilty about it, and that's when I questioned myself, "how important is God to me, that every morning when I wake up, He is the one that I want to look for, not my manager, or my sheep, or my close ones."

I looked at it, and challenge myself that God should be the number 1 of my life, in my work, my ministries, and my relationships with different ones. I have always made this prayer, that God, help me to put you first. But as I look back, it has only been a prayer, and the struggle still remains. And I'm at that point..........God it can't stay that way any longer, but I want to do it, where you are the first one that I think about in all aspects of my life.

I placed upon myself that it is not just a need to draw closer to God, but it is a desire. Such a great desire that nothing else could take that place. I committed it to God the other day, all that will take that place of His, and lay it before His feet. I want to do it like how Paul does it......... where he considers his life worh nothing to him, that if only he may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given (Acts 20:24). I really pray that I can do it, where all that is in my life is worth nothing to me, but what is more precious, is my life and purpose in Christ. It is my heart cry that our achievements, relationships and ministries are not what we are living for, but it is Christ that we are living for.

This is only one of which that God has spoken to me about...................I pray that all that is reading this, will catch the same heartbeat. Let it be Christ that we are living for.

An instrument for Noble purposes

2006-12-30T08:22:00.000+10:00

"In a large house, there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay. Some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master, and prepared to do any good work."

2 Timothy 2:20-21 is one of the verses that I've been memorizing, and as I memorize more of it, one thing that clearly stuck within me is "be an instrument for noble purpose, made holy, useful to the Master", and I started asking myself, am I one that is an instrument for noble purposes?

I believe that I am still in the midst of being sanctified and made holy by God, but I realise that there is my part to play. The verse states that if a man...... "IF" is being used, like it is commanding us that it is our choice that we need to cleanse ourselves from impurity. And I then realise that it is not just God sanctifying me, but it is also my choice to respond with faith. And I just want to thank God for being so patience and faithful to me.

A testimony......I have been facing challenges at work, and because of the ethical dilemmas that we are in, I started to have really bad attitudes, and was becoming negative, wanting to give up. The team that I'm leading, naturally picks up from me and also developed bad attitudes and negative feelings towards all that is happening. And I realise that my influence on the team is wrong. As I reflect back, I realise that I have allowed the enemies to use me. And the prompt in my heart is that "despite how bad the situation may be, I should continue to reflect Christ, and continue to shine the love of Christ." The Holy Spirit prompts become stronger and stronger each day as I pray and seek Him, and that's when I know that I have sinned before God. I prayed and repented before God.

And my heart was.........God, use me for noble purposes, use me in this workplace, change me so that people can see Christ in me. I prayed and asked God to really help me, cos it is really seeing beyond what people has done, and continue to lead others beyond what is impossible. I realise that for me to lead my team, I need to rise above the circumstances, and I need to see beyond the negativity. I made a decision to be positive and encouraging instead. I decided that I will make a difference in the workplace. I went in to work last week, and made a note that I will not be negative about whatever that is happening, but rather point people in a direction to look at the positives, and to celebrate. Slowly, people started to ease off the negativity. It is still lingering, but people are choosing to look at other positives that has happened and will be happening. And I even had the opportunity to share with some of my colleagues about Christ, and as well, even just encouraging them in God, and letting most know that I'll be praying for everyone of them, and the situation.

It is not like any amazing thing that has happened, but yet, it is the choice that one made.........whether we want to be use for noble purposes? And if so, we have to make sure that our hearts are pure before God. God will demonstrate His faithfulness, but we need to keep our lives right before God.

** For all those working out there........ what is the difference you can make in your workplace today? Is there some actions and attitudes you have that could draw others towards God? Think about it, it's worth it when we commit it to the Lord, and He will bring us to share with our colleagues. For me, I had the opportunity to share with my manager, and even encourage her. It probably wasn't easy, but God opened the door. God can do it for you too.

Certainty of God's Promises

2006-12-17T22:51:00.000+10:00

Have we ever asked ourselves what are the promises of God? and whether God's promises of the past is also promises to us. It is amazing when I think about it, that God has done so much for people in the past, and how come in my life, and today's world, we find it so hard to claim all that God has promised?

As I thought more, some thoughts brought me to grow in my faith in God, and trusting in God, and His promises. One of it is the everlasting nature of God, the God who never changes, who is the same yesterday, today and forever. When I ask myself what does it mean when God never change, it dawn upon me that it means...........whatever He has done in the past for people, He can do it for us today as well. And it is really about us trusting and having certainty in His character. Not just upon the promises, but it is upon God that we trust and seek. We seek the giver, not the blessings.

Something else that also came to mind is that we should seek the heart of God. And when we seek His heart, we will know His desires. Many times, we ask God to fulfil our desires, but it is only when we delight in Him, that He will give us the desires of our heart (Psalms 37:4). And I realise that I have been lacking in seeking God's desires, but rather, I've been asking God to fulfil my needs, and my lack. That I feel so ashamed of myself that I'm not sensitive to want to minister into God's presence. I asked myself why am I seeking so much for the blessings and the fulfillment of the desires on my heart..........I could only see "pride" and "selfishness". This really challenged me, not just to see my needs met, but to see that God's will be done.

Recently, I was pushed to my max at work that I started to break down, and when I talk to God, I realise that my attitude have been "God, why don't you meet this need of mine". I felt I have become so inward and self focused about my own need that I didn't want to hear about other people's need, and I became indifferent towards others. I felt so ugly about my own attitude that I felt I needed a slap on myself to wake up. The break down was good because it helped me to realise that I need to humble myself to seek God, and not just my needs have to be met...............I hated my negativity, hated my frustrations and anger, and struggled with pride. I just came to God and said "God, renew me. I cannot go on this way and still be a salt and light to the people around me".

That's when I realise that I need to claim God's promises in my life, that I need to know that God will provide in His timing, and not just because I have a need to be met. At the same time, it is to be sure that His timing is the best, and not just what I want. I said to God, I want to be certain, I want to know His promises, and I want to allow His power to flow through my life. When I came to understand this, I felt a peace come upon my heart, and though I still am in the midst of getting through it all, I ask God to continuously look to Him, others, and then myself. I said that I do not want to just be focus about my need being met, but I want to be focus that I am doing God's will.

My focus for the rest of this year..................to place my hope in God, and this will be the anchor of my convictions before God. That it is in Him alone that His will for my life will be fulfilled In Him and through Him.

"Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged.

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain,"

Hebrews 6:19

Turn Your Other Cheek

2006-12-12T08:39:00.000+10:00

It is awfully hard when Jesus tells us to turn our other cheek to our enemies even after they have slappped us on one. I wonder where do one find that sort of strength to forgive our enemeies. This has been one of those commands, which you know very well that it is what God desires, and you very well understands it, but yet it is so hard to carry it all out. Recently in life, I have been challenged by the fact that it is not easy to love your enemies. Situations in life have put me in a spot to ask myself, where should I stand when there is unfairness and injustice shown, and how people have been hurt by the unfairness and injustice. I reacted with anger in my heart, and formed judgement towards those who displayed the injustice.

Outwardly, it all seems nice and fine, but i know in my heart (and only God knows), that time and time again, I had anger in my heart towards all that has happened. I struggled, and time and time, I have repented before God, but things just don't get any better, and it just seems to be greater injustice. I found it hard, to turn my other cheek and be slapped with injustice. However, God has been reminding me..........that vindication is His, and I should not have anger. Day after day, it has been just that prompting in my heart, from the Holy Spirit, to forgive, to have peace.

It is hard, especially when outwardly you can't really express it out, and I just find myself so helpless. I have been meditating on the verse - Matthew 5:38-44........

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"

This is my prayer before God, to keep my heart pure, to keep my attitude right, and indeed, to truly forgive those who may bring injustice, because God has first forgiven us.

The Confidence is in God alone

2006-12-03T08:44:00.000+10:00

Personally for me, the rising of the sun shows how confident we can be in God, because it never fails to rise every morning. I believe that's how God can help us to have that confidence in Him, that every day, we can rise with that confidence in Him.

As I grow up, one thing that I have picked up is that my confidence (many a times), comes from my experiences in doing the thing over and over again. I am one who is usually lacking in confidence when I have to pick up something new to do. I am always awestruck at people who seem to be so confident, and always never fearful of the new things that they need to do. I take a long time to think through the new things that I need to do, before I will take that step out and do something about it. And yet looking at people, I gazed and wondered, where do they find that sort of strength to be so confident to be out there.

One of my weakness is my lack of confidence with people and public.........I know everytime when I have to address the public, and people, be it at work or in ministry, I go through a whole lot of turmoil and butterflies within me, that I'll come to the point of prayer and say to God, "I really don't have the strength to do it, but only you can do that in me, only You, can take me through the moments". As I look at it from time to time, this relying on God has helped me to understand a lot more how come confidence comes from God, and how can we have confidence in God, and why we as humans struggle in this lack of confidence.

2 verses that really strengthens me.................

"for the Lord will be your confidence, and will keep your foot from being snared."
Proverbs 3:26

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we ask of him." 1 John 5:14

For all of us out there (including myself), when we have that thought that I don't think I'll be able to do it, or I can't do a good enough job than another person.................rebuke that thought, and pray for the confidence to be placed in God, not on your past experiences. It is God that will take you through, not your past experiences. No matter how well or badly you have performed in life, in the past.............take it as a learning curve. But remember it is God that you rely on, not on what you have or haven't done. I am sure that God, when we seek His will in all that we do, be it studies, work, or even ministry, He will honor it.

2006-12-01T00:16:00.000+10:00

grow......Grow......GROW

I have this voice in me that keeps telling me, it is time to grow, it is time to expand, and it is time to enlarge. And daily when I seek and speak to God, one thing that really struck me is my desire to grow, not just physically and naturally, but spiritually.

"Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities."

Isa 54:1-3 is what God laid upon my heart. I ask God, what does He wants me to stretch in? I already feel so stretch, can I stretch more? I pray that I can go on higher, not because I haven't got a choice, but because it is God's will. As I rise to the challenge to lead a bigger bunch of people, I realise that everything else that I use to do with a smaller group has to change. The perspective and even the way..............it is a challenge. When we grow, we move out of our comfort zone, and sometimes it is nicer to just remain in our comfort zone. That is my challenge, to grow and step out of the box that I have always put myself in to be comfortable.

I have been praying and asking God, why has He put me in the position that I am in, be it in ministry or work, I feel very stretched in the aspect of having to lead............and not just lead in how I have always done so, but in new ways, and in "uncomfortable" ways. Sometimes, it is such uncomfortness that will help us to rely on God more, and to draw from Him more.

There has been so much happening in my life that has taken me out of my comfort zone. I am challenged ethically, and as well to stand with integrity, that it is really causing me to ask myself, where I will choose to stand. It is not normal decisions that you will make, but it is one where because of your faith and your convictions in God, that you know you need to make those decisions. Such stretching really test your character and it is amazing when you choose to come before God and surrender it before Him.

All of these kind of remind me that God has called me to be that plumbline of truth, one that will hold fast to His standards and hold with that spirit of integrity and honesty before Him. I think I will choose God's ways, but it is really going to be challenging as it will require me to give up some things which I know is uncomfortable to give up. I can only pray that God will continue to guide me. Let it be stretched...............Stretched for Jesus, and let your character be tested as you "stand trial" before Jesus. Let's stand for the Word of Truth.

2006-11-23T19:24:00.000+10:00

HOW I MISS YOU........................

Today isn't the happiest day, it is one that is full of thoughts as I sent my parents off home. There is always that difficult feeling when you wave goodbye to someone you love. You know that you'll still see that person soon, but yet it is hard to just part for the moment. As usual, I teared as I see them step off to go back home, and as I continue with my life in Brissy.

I asked myself, this is not just an emotional tear, it is one of love, it is one that will miss the treasured moments. And I ask myself, do I also have the same sort of feelings and passion for my Father in heaven. As I love my parents so much, how much more do I love God? Do I cry when I don't meet with Him that day? Do I tear as I forget to spend time with Him? This really threw me to understand about deeper love for God. How much would I miss Him? I do miss Him when I haven't talk or spend time with God after a couple of days, but I pray and ask God, to help me to have a deeper passion for God, that I'll miss Him so much that I wouldn't even bare to leave and not spend time with Him.

I want to grow in this depth of my love for God. It should never be a moment that I don't treasure. As much as I treasure my life with my family, and the memories that we have together, I also want to treasure my time with God, and remember the goodness and faithfulness of Him in my life. As I catch up with a friend this afternoon, as I shared about my testimonies in ministries and families and etc........ I was again touched that God has done so much in my life, and that He has blessed me so much that I felt I needed to give thanks to God.

THANK YOU LORD!

Thank you for the Cross
Thank you for dying for our sins
Thank you for my family
Thank you for the friends around me
Thank you for the love and care from people around
Thank you for the joy
Thank you for the peace
Thank you for Han
Thank you for everything that I can enjoy in life

There is so much, I think this list can go on and on.........................Indeed there is nothing that can be compared to the greatness of God, that I am always amazed. I pray God, I'll never miss you, because of my passion that I would want to keep staying in the presence and love of God. Thank you again God.

2006-11-17T22:55:00.000+10:00

"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. "

Psalm 86:11

This is my heart cry to God, that my heart will be an undivided heart towards Him, that I will obey Him with total obedience. It is important to ensure that our heart is fully given unto God, because we also learn that the heart is deceitful. What is our heart condition today? That was the question that God asked me today as I listen to the Word of God being preached.

God showed me a vision while I was praying............it was a vision of a cup that was very dirty on the inside, but looks alright outwardly. And what the Holy Spirit really prompted me is that no matter how nice or good you may look on the outward, God looks at what is in your heart today. For me, it was a wake up question.......as to what is my desire today? Is it God? Is it all committed to God?

When in today's world, there is so much that can fill the hearts of people - like career, relationship, money, cars, and so much more, how divided our hearts can be. It is so easy to be drawn away and it all depends on the decisions that we make day to day. Therefore to be able to conquer the wrong decisions we are all prone to make, the Word of God that we feed on daily will keep us in the right track. It is when I read God's word that I am reminded of my committment unto God. Therefore let us meditate on the Word of God day and night. Let the Word of God bring greater devotion and conviction to us.

2006-11-12T06:57:00.000+10:00

PEACE of God

It's been a good break in Melbourne. Though it has only been a couple of days, but I have the time to just stay quiet within my soul to pray and ask God. Over the weekend, I had the opportunity with my family to drive up to Beechworth to look at the historical town. It is a long drive - we took about 5 - 6 hours each way. And that's when i realise that I wasn't a very good passenger seat person. I think it's better if I'm the driver.

Haha.........I laugh at it because even for short distances, I can't seat at the passenger seat without wanting to take control - ooh yikes........i think this is like some control freak spirit in me about driving. Haha and Han can testify of that.

Anyway, something that God laid within me as I thought through it a bit more, I like being the driver, and God asked me if I would give Him the wheel and feel confident that He will lead me to where He desires to. I realise that on my mouth, I would say yes, but yet in my heart, i think the conviction needs to be build deeper. What is wrong with me, I ask God, why can't I trust Him, and why am I finding it difficult to give Him full control. One thing that the Lord lay in my heart is "PEACE". Peace of God is upon us, as God has promise in

John 14:27........."Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

I find that I am troubled easily by the things of the world, and fearful of what can happen if I lose control. And I realise that God is wanting to mould my character and strength that I draw that peace from God alone, not from the things that I have control around. Even with the recent incidences that happened in my life, like with my career, I realise that God has His hands upon it, which I find it hard to understand, yet am amazed at how God knows what is best.

Just a quick testimony.........I went for a job interview recently with Missions Australia, and it all went well, but I didn't get the job. I wasn't feeling overly disappointed, but asked God where else would He open the other door. Left it with God, but a little uncertain.

Then I got a call from the manager who interviewed me, and said that I did well in the interview, but was met with strong candidates, and that's why I didn't get it. However, she offered me to apply for another position, and I was overjoyed with it. Though it's not even a guarantee for the position, but I knew that this is what God is telling me. Even when I don't see it possible, He can open the close doors, and if only I would persevere and trust Him, and know that PEACE He has is something that we can rely on. For me, this is a great learning curve, to understand this PEACE that God desires to give to us.

2006-11-08T03:52:00.000+10:00

STRETCHING BEYOND

I'm sure many of us may have experienced muscle pull or ligament stretch. And have we ever thought how that can relate to our walk with God? Recently I had an experience where my ligament was been stretch on my back, and it was painful, and i felt like I am going to fall apart. But thank God for all the physios who will help to loosen all those stretched ligament.........

Anyway, it brought me to realise that in our walk with God, at times when we are being stretched or pulled to step beyond our normal comfort zone, there will be pain. Just like the pain i experience in my back, it is the same in our walk with God. But of course, God brings us through that pull and stretch, so that we could continue enlarging our capacity of "normal comfort zone" and that helps us to grow.

It is a painful process, but yet I can't deny that it will help us to grow. Recently, I shared with a group of students about the ingredients to GROWTH. And I pop 2 vitamins into the minds of these students - Vitamin F & Vitamin T (which is Faith and Thankfulness). And again looking at that, faith is required to help us to grow. Do we have faith that God will stretch us and help us to grow to the fullest potential? Or do we think that the stretch is too painful and we prefer to give up?

This faith we have in God is not just the saving faith, but it is the faith where Jesus said "Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains"........

Anyway, it is no doubt that we need to keep having faith in order to grow. Faith that God will lead us to His highest calling; Faith that God will draw out our highest potential for Him; And faith that God will deliver us from the "pain". Are we able to persevere in our faith until we see that pain overcomed, and our calling being fulfilled. It seems like the pain will always, continuosly be there, until the day Jesus brings us to His highest calling.

Praise God for the pain and sufferings...............................

"But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."

1 Peter 4:13

2006-11-05T23:56:00.000+10:00

FAITH factor - RISK

It has been a fruitful Sunday. Despite the fact that I spent the whole morning preparing for Sunday Service chairing, I learnt a lot from God, and was challenged in my faith. I realise that I am always fearful of stepping out to try new things. And as I prepares for the chairing, something that was laid upon my heart was these words "STEP OUT IN FAITH".

I asked God what does He wants me to step out in? He said "many things"........and I pondered, and as I look at my life, I observe that many a times, I choose things that I am comfortable in doing, I move towards where my strengths are, and I volunteer my services in ways that I have always done so. And I realise that at times, I have missed the call of God upon my life because it is not my usual self to be doing what God has ask of me. And I struggle with it, and rationalize it, and just couldn't bring myself to respond.

As I hear the preaching of the Word of God this afternoon, something that resonates strongly in my heart is that I need to step out to respond in greater faith. I should not just remain in my comfort of what I am familiar with, I should not allow fear to stop me and I should step out and know that God will catch me. When there is fear, there is no faith; It is crucial to rise up in faith, so that I can grow in God. It wasn't just a revelation, but it became a conviction, that I should live by. That if I want to grow in God, I need to make some hard decisions to rise up in faith in God, and not let my fear cover me.

Faith is spelt as RISK............ I always never really identified with that. I know it, but it's not part of my life. I don't think I have taken much risks in my life, but I have learnt how to take calculated risks. I think there still needs to be wisdom applied as we step out in faith. However, these risks that we take should be God instigated. And as God lays it in us, we should take it on and rise up to the challenge of His call.

2006-11-05T00:02:00.000+10:00

In the Presence of God

It has been a long time since i continued my blog in msn. I've had feedback that people are not able to access it.............so well, decided to change.

In the last two weeks or so........something that God has laid upon my heart - is about His Love, and what is His love, and why His love? It has always amazed me as a Christian and human being, that Christ's love is everlasting, and neverending. I wondered how that can happen when we as humans are so imperfect, and yet the love from our Father is everlasting.

I asked..........."Would God's patience, grace and love run out?" The answer is no, but if we choose to step out of His grace, then we will not experience it. It's like what King David says.........in Pslams 51:10-12, that he does not want to be cast out of the presence of God, and I thought, "Yes, I do not want to either." I then realise it is our choice, and it is our responsibility, and it is us who have to take that action. Many a times, we may just conveniently say that we are in the presence of God, and God is here, or even let's just enjoy the presence.

I figured that when King David makes that decision not to be cast out of the presence of God, it goes to show that it is not out of convenience. So what is the presence of God? It is just a sensation, feeling or why we need to be in His presence? If you are extremeley thirsty, and you just needed a glass of water to quench your thirst, and after a moment, you got that glass of water and drank it..........and you are so satisfied. That is what I will illustrate when you are in the presence of God. The hunger that you have, the emptiness, or tiredness, or thirst, is being fulfilled. When we are in the presence of God, but do not respond in faith to receive it, we will still be "thirsty". It is our choice to respond, it is our conviction and action to choose to be in the presence of God, and not just "float" on the presence of God.

What choice are we making daily? Are we making a decision that will keep us in the presence of God? I urge all of us, that we should choose to respond in faith about standing firm in the presence of God, don't just let that presence pass you by and you not responding to it. Have faith and act now.

This is my prayer to God:

Create in me a clean heaert, oh Lord
Renew a right spirit with me (2x)

Cast me not away
From thy presence oh Lord
And take not thy Holy Spirit from me
Restore unto me
The joy of thy salvation
And renew a right spirit
within me

This is a song that King David has written that express his heart felt thanks to God for not casting him away from the presence of God.