Esther in her new cot

Esther finally got to enjoy her own cot. 

And she loves the cot mobile that daddy bought for her :)

Esther saying "Hello" to all

Esther's beautiful Smile

This is our beautiful daughter and her lovely smile.

A Beautiful Miracle

Can't believe that 9 months of carrying the little one in me is over, and the birth of a beautiful miracle from God has arrived into this world on 6th August 2011, 1134hr. When I look at my beautiful baby (Baby Esther), I'm so thrilled and amazed at this wonderful creation of God. Tiredness and fear are overwhelmed by this amazing miracle of God......and I can't thank God enough that He's covered over baby, myself and my husband through this whole period.

Here are some pictures of Baby Esther, and hopefully, will post up more updates of what God is doing in my life as my husband and myself go through this transition stage of becoming parents. In my heart, I'm so determined to bring the best to my Esther, and prayerfully trusting God to give me the strength and grace to be fully committed all the way. I know that with God, we are in good hands.

Enjoy :)

Leading of the Holy Spirit

How many times do we stop in a day to hear the voice of the spirit?
How often when we hear or are prompted by the Holy Spirit that we stop and obey?
How many times we fear that we have heard wrongly
Maybe it's myself, or is this really from God?
How many..........
How to..........
How is it possible .........???
Questions upon questions, and many a times, still questions, rather than answers.

I realise that I've ignored God's voice at times, without realising, until much later - and it's all because of all these above questions, and "self-rationalisation". In the recent organising of Oceania Convention, I thank God for teaching me this lesson to be led by His Spirit. And it is really by His grace and strength that I have chosen to let go, and let the Spirit guide. On 2 occasions, I have learned to let the Spirit direct.

Firstly, it was a strong prompting, since the start of the year, to remember to put God as the centre of the event and the organising aspect. I was quite caught up with tasks to do, emails piling up, head and brain space becoming clogged up and "BANG" in one of my quiet times, God rebuked and reminded me that I can't do it without Him - that simple principle (something I've known all along) struck and awoke me to "Spirit-reality". And John 15:5 was my foundation.

Since then, I started fasting, praying, encouraging my committee members to be in tune with God. Got intercessors to pray, and in my heart, I felt a release of His Spirit. I was reminded by the Spirit of God, that the success of OC, is not just good orgainisng, good flow, good program, good planning and etc...... but the success of OC will be that all would be ministered by His (God's) presence and grace.

I must say that it was hard to shift the perspective that the success of a event is measured through spiritual matters (which you can't quite quantify). I was very stuck in the mentality of trying not to make a loss, and ensuring that we provide quality service and program and that all is well-organised. God had to really pour His presence and grace in my life to challenge me to understand His heart in this OC.

That was 1 hurdle - but praise God that He helped me to keep coming back into His presence. The 2nd thing was a prompting one night, before I slept, I felt the urge to check the original contract that I signed with GCCEC over about 8 months ago. It was funny, cos I didn't look at that for a really long time. I checked it in the morning (the morning before OC started), and realised that the updated event contract had a different amount from the original contract signed (as in they have over-charged us on the food & beverage costs). I rang up GCCEC and told them about it, and they later got back to me, that it was their over-sight, and so Praise God again, the cost is much lower than I expected it to be.

These are my personal testimonies; But it is so vital to learn and grow in being led by the Spirit - no matter what it is that we do - and this is not hard if we just desire to seek God wholeheartedly, in all things.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jer 29:13

Weakness and productivity

In the perspectives of the world today, it seems wise that weakness and productivity does not mix. When there is weakness, there is no productivity. Is that really the case? Is that what is on your mind as well?

How can weakness becomes productive? On what basis do one work upon to overcome the very fact that weakness is possibly failure, and weakness is not something we develop upon. But I'm not convinced, especially when I look at apostle Paul's life. The thorn in his flesh, is like a weakness in Him, and many times, he has urged the believers to turn back to the source of strength - which is God.

Weakness produces dependence - dependence, reliance not on the things of self, achievements, capabilities or stuff, but it is dependence and reliance in God, in who God is, in the power of God, of which (to us) is incomprehensible, and unimaginable. That's why at times, seems so hard to trust. But the 2 scriptures below hopefully encourages us to keep trusting God.

2 Cor 4:7-9 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

2 Cor 4:16-18 " ¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Over 2009, it seems like this is what God has been showing me. I don't boast about my strength, but rather, I am taken to see the weaknesses in my own life. The year of looking at weaknesses brings me to a point of desperation before God, to ask for more of Him in my life. It felt like a long year of been incapable (maybe even incapacitated) to lead, to do the things of God. Many times when I look at my weakness, I don't feel like doing it anymore, but "faithfulness" is a concept or perhaps more so a conviction, that has pushed me to continue doing it, not for anything, but for God. I was reading a book "Jesus" by Charles Swindoll, and when reading about what Jesus went through at the Garden of Gethsemane, I realise that the pain and temptations that He has to go through is way more than how one can ever imagine. And for Him to be able to say "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will but as You will" (Matthew 26:39). My heart at that very point, just felt that if Jesus has gone through all that, he's probably able to understand all my weaknesses, and how I felt through all of it. Even the temptation of giving it up, Jesus have felt it too.

It seems like it is one's choice to live out 2 Cor 4:16-18 (as above). I have concluded 2009 with that scripture, and I am determined to keep living it out (as per 2 Cor 4:16-18) for 2010 and years ever after. I pray that God will humble me to always be reminded 2 things : Do not lose heart; and Keep my eyes on Him, on the eternal things of God (which I do not see with my physical eyes) - it requires a faith response !

Two becoming one

Counting down.......and now it's all over :) It has been almost a week, with a married status ......... as a new chapter of my life. Wow....... last weekend was almost tiring, but yet exciting and also emotional. Excited because I was the bride, and emotional because it was such a wonderful experience to be joined together with Han. It was almost like Jesus coming to receive the bride. (not saying that Han is Jesus; but the experience of it all, and the preparation that went before walking down that aisle to be received by Han.)

Stepping into this new stage of life helps me to realise of the wonderful plan that God has to join a man and woman together. I'm sure there's a lot to learn about how a woman is to be a helper to the man, as God created originally. My prayer, God, is to help me to be that Godly woman that you can use me, to support my husband, towards the highest calling you have for us. God, may you always and forever be the centre of this family that we've just started.

I would like to take this opportunity to mention and appreciate all the different ones who have made a difference as Han & myself step into this new chapter of our lives.
Bridesmaids - thank you for your constant companionship throughout this season, the laughters, and fun, and also the night before.......all those photos :)
Best mans - thank you for being around to calm the groom ;)
Flowergirls & Page boy - thank you for walking down together.
Band - the music was awesome, the best ever....... thank you for your patience in helping me pick the music. I think you must have all thought that this is the most "can't be bothered" couple, especially when it comes to music.
Decor - the hall was great, and well.......the car was also "breath-taking"........thanks for taking the challenge even when you've never done decor of wedding car and church before.
Reception - it was so great, didn't see any hiccups
Food - it was fantastic, great food, organisation..............especially thank you for the nice wedding cup cakes surprise :) Love it totally
Wedding manager - great job :) thumbs up :) you are a very caring and well-planned wedding manager
MC - how can i forget the "witty" MC......hahaha........i heard that our families love the way you did the MC-ing;
Multimedia guys - great job with the presentation, thank you for your grace
Parents & mentors - great you were there to witness it all, and all our friends and colleagues :) Your presence made the difference
And all the photographers, videographer, make up artists, hair-do artists............you've made this wedding an enjoyable one.
Sorry if we forgot someone..........but you're always in our hearts - heartfelt thanks to all.

I enjoyed every bit of it other than trying to walk down the aisle with a wedding dress that's a teeny bit long. Glad i didn't trip.

Now, it's all over, it's time to live out:

Ephesians 5:22-25
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"

** will put up more photos next time

Counting Down

Never ever thought that counting down to the big day can be so nerve-wrecking, but exciting, and haha........I was thinking, what would it really be when we think about the day that we await the "TRUE BRIDEGROOM" to come and take the hands of the bride (the church)...???

I started counting down to the wedding day, about 20 weeks before. At that time, it feels like it will take quite a while before we reach the actual day. I almost never really bothered how many weeks we are up to. But as we got closer, when it was less than 10 weeks, i became clearer in my counting down, knowing that the 10 weeks can be counted with the 10 fingers on my hand. And it didn't feel too far away. Started getting nervous counting down, can't believe with my mind and eyes how time flies, and all of a sudden, we were down to 1 month. People were telling me left, right and centre how many days were left, and it was getting quite exciting.

Anyway, when I think about this whole experience of counting down to something great, and the preparation behind (though not a lot - thank you to the wonderful team of people who are helping out there :) ) ; It really reminded me of the preparation I should also get into to await the coming of Jesus - of course the huge difference is we do not know exactly when that day is, but the Word of God said that we should be ready for His return.

I don't want to be caught unprepared, and still having lots of blemishes and pimples on my face during my wedding (the sort of preparation the girl have to go through)......I never realise that I will do this much facial care on my face during this season, but wow.......if i'm willing to put in the time, money and efforts to prepare for an earthly wedding, how much more should I then be putting in to prepare for my "heavenly wedding".

Well, being a phlegmatic doesn't help when counting down. Despite the excitedness of everyone around you, the nature within you just wants to let it be, and "whatever will be, will be". People commented that I'm one of the most relaxed bride that they have seen, but I don't know if that's good or bad. However, it could just very well mean that even if the worst things is to happen in the wedding......maybe forgot the rings, or turn up at the wrong church, or wrong dates....you name it, I'll probabaly just let it be, and just say "let's just enjoy it still". I'm sure I'll forget something, somewhere, somehow...... haha........so my lovely bridesmaids, please just enjoy the experience. But this nature of mine, puts me on the alert that I should always be ready. It really challenges me not to "just let it be", but to actually giving my best in all, unto God. I pray that God, you'll really help me to be excellent in my spirit and heart when I'm awaiting for that heavenly wedding.

To all who's reading this, hope that you can also start counting down to the heavenly wedding, to await Jesus, and to keep preparing ourselves. Don't just do it for a season, but keep on doing it, because that is when you are ready in and out, any time.

"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour" Matthew 25:13

Step or Jump??? of Faith

How can i not blog this............

I did one of the best thing in the world ( i reckon) - skydiving. Will put up the video somewhere when I get it, but at this point, you'll just have to imagine with me.

Last weekend, with a few "crazy" and funloving friends, we decided to take this journey to jump out of a plane and land with a parachute behind us. It was an anxious yet looking forward type of thing. We had funny conversations before the jump, like taking motion sickness pills before jumping, or even writing our will. Well, all the anxiousness and all were silenced when we jumped out of the plane 14000 ft above ground. The feeling or word that can be used to describe it all is PHENOMENAL. I never thought that I would enjoy it so much that I would want to do it another time. I thought I would be so scared that this is my once in a lifetime sort of thing.

Anyway, enough of me saying too much, but more on what I have learnt. This jump of faith is very much a walk of faith for me. Just like Peter who had to step out in faith to walk on water, I felt I needed to challenge my faith to another level by jumping out of the plane. Not so much about testing whether God will catch me, but more so, what would I be willing to do for God, how much would I be willing to step out.

When I evaluated this whole jump, it showed me something really clear, if I willed myself to do it, I have a lot of sheer determination to complete it. It really reminded me of what was prophesied over me about me having a "bull-dogged" tenacity. However, it also showed me that if I can and have put my life on the line for a thrill of adrenalin rush, I'm sure I will be able to put my life on the line for Jesus. The question is whether "am I willing". This became a huge challenge, because it really make me realise that many times when God has called me, or asked me to take on something, I know that He knows I can. But He is testing my willingness to do it for Him, my willingness to give it all for Him. Sometimes, because of our sinful nature, the willingness to do it for yourself is far greater than the willingness to do it for Jesus.

Anyway, I think this challenge has taught me a very simple truth. God is waiting, are we willing to do it for heaven's sake. I have taken that first step to be out of the plane, why should I keep God waiting. How about you?

The never changing God

Every day is different.
Situations arise.
Circumstances change.
Fluctuations of econonmy
Inflation of prices
Political decisions change
Policies made and re-made
Moods & emotions swing
Taste & cravings come and go
Choices and preferences are different.......
The list can go on and on. There is never a constant thing, it seems impossible to achieve "non-changing status" in anything or anyone, except of course the promise in Hebrews 13:8

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

God achieves the impossible of being the same yesterday, today and forever. This does not just show us that we can then trust in His promises since the yester-years, but we can also come to see the omnipotent God that He can do the impossible to remain the same, in His character, goodness and promises.

When I contrast it, I am glad that God is changing me. I can't imagine myself being the same, it would be disastrous, and one can only realise that you do not need to change when you are perfect. But we'll not reach there yet, but that's what we're all working towards, and God working in us. Changes can be painful, but it need to happen so that we can be molded. Therefore if one is growing, one will have to go through changes, so that we can be perfected by God to be like Him - to become "never-changing". Again, only God can perfect us because only He is perfect and therefore never would have to change.

In your changing circumstances, are you being changed by an unchanging God?

A Season of Self Assessment

Got this from a book that I read recently "Leading on Empty". An alright book, but an awesome God that made the sharing in the book encouraging.

There was this part at the end of the book that gave a few questions to ask when we want to do some personal self reflection and assessment. Not fancy questions, but down to earth, bring you back to reality sort of questions. Thought to share it, so that if you like to, you can have a think about it.

1. What was my original calling from God?
2. What activities that I am involved in do I love the most?
3. What activities and people have been draining my tank?
4. If i retired today with several million dollars and no debts, what would I do?
5. What am I doing now that I cannot do anymore?

The first question struck me most, as that has always been the question that I bring myself back to when I reflect upon where I am in God now, and things that have happened so far in my life. It is "my starting point", telling myself that my calling is where I need to start again every time I "trip and fall".

I realise that the questions above, your answers may differ as you go through different seasons of your life, but the 1st question, that answer, should be the same. It is God's call in your life. I am challenged to stick to the call of God in my life. Sometimes when the rubber hits the road, sticking to that call becomes almost so hard that you don't want to face up to it. Ask yourself, what is pushing and motivating you to keep doing the work that you do today? Whether it is your day to day job, or even your spiritual responsibilities in the house of God. I find that when I go through the great moments of my life, it is so easy to asnwer that question. But I also see that it is in the tough times in life that truly brings out the essence of one's motivation.

Can I encourage all out there, whatever seasons you are going through in your life, God's call on your life remains. What matters is our response to God.

HOPE

Isa 40:29-31

²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Hope that is in the Lord strengthens. This sort of hope can only come from God alone.

Hope that is found in anything else, work, studies, money, material things, friends, or even families, will not strengthen. This is what I have been experiencing over the last few weeks. Sometimes in some things in life, when you look at it with your human eyes, you feel that the hope of changing it for the better, seems really bleak.

Recently when I was working with some of my families, I realise that some of the situations they are in, seems really hopeless, and at times when I talk to them, I empathise with them so much that I feel "dragged in" into their hopelessness. And I have been just casually praying that God will help me to somehow be hopeful in the work that I do, so that it is hope that I can bring to the families, even in their hopelessness. Although I found it really hard to do it practically, I wanted to trust God for it. Amazingly then, with one family that I was supporting, they were in huge financial crisis, and I've been looking everywhere to see what more could be done to support them. I've been praying for God to bring Hope and strength to the family, and they recently received new funding, and hopefully with this new funding, it may help tide the family through. When I looked back at it, I realise that God's hand is upon it. This injected faith into my heart to start praying for all the families that I'm supporting, and trusting that God will bring the best to the families. Even though, I may not be able to openly encourage them to have hope in God, but that I can pray that God will bring hope into the situation.

Anyway, this challenge me to trust and have hope in God even for all that I am in. And truly, only when the hope is in God, then one will find that strength to keep going on. It is when my hope is placed in God, that I find the new strength to wake up every morning, and keep on doing what I would love to do for God. It is when my hope is upon God's heart, that I will understand how He will guide and lead me through my sufferings.

Hope in God.........what can i say, keep that hope always in the Lord, for when we are tired, stressed, overwhelmed, upset, disappointed, discouraged, hurt, that we know that God's hope is always strong and will always help us to arise in that new day, with new hope, that He will bring us through. Take heart, and continue to hope in our Lord.

Tenacity

It is funny how I usually end up writing my blogs late into the night, when I know that I am suppose to be resting, but yet, some writing inspirations come at such a time.......

Just taking some time to browse through some close friends blogs, and felt to write something that is close to my heart. Not that it is my favourite topic, but it is a favourite lesson from God.

Tenacity.............holding fast, that's what it is.
Tenacity, perseverance, boldness, fearlessness, strength and courage are very closely linked words. It is almost like when you use any one of these words, the other words will come into play as well. When I was reading some articles, tenacity was brought through into my thoughts, and I realise this is what God is building in my life. I was brought back to a presbytery that was upon my life a number of years ago, and reading the transcript brought forth that God is building in me tenacity.

Of course, you will then ask yourself, how is tenacity built? What contributes to tenacity? What will help one to hold fast?

• Yes of course, it is GOD .God will empower one to hold fast, but that's provided that one will learn to look to God, in the midst of everything they are doing.
• Then it's the "fearful" word - TESTS. All of us do not like to take tests or exams. When we need to do so, we usually have to put ourselves to some sort of preparation. When there is no tests, there is no preparation. Somehow, we, in our fleshly nature, need to have tests happening, so that we can prepare and grow in our faith. If not, we will never be ready for what is to come when Jesus returns.
• And finally, it is YOU, your choice, and decision, TO HOLD FAST. To hold, is an action word, and what will your action be. It's funny how the term "hold fast". Thinking through it more, it is clearer then before, that in times of "falling" or "failing" behind, one key thing is to learn to hold, and you need to be quick and fast about it, if not, you'll be falling deeper than you thought if you don't hold fast enough. Are you holding fast enough?

Don't run through a marathon and ignore the pains of it all. The pains build tenacity, it is important that we recognizes the pains, and learn from the pains, and let go of the pains.

What is your marathon like today? Full of pains? of full of Joys?

Be Rooted Deeply

In this above picture, it's a plant that's growing in a pot, on my balcony........

Let me give you a bit of a history about the potted plants on my balcony. My very first housemate in this apartment bought some plants, and decided that we'll grow our very own cherry tomatoes (about 2.5 years ago), and it was really successful. We have our cherry tomatoes fresh from our plants on the balcony. But after my housemate moved out, i've never really continue any planting. I think i'm not that sort of person to be growing my own fruits.
But anyway, in the last 2-3 weeks, after about 1.5 years of not touching the dried up soil in the pots, a plant started to spring out of nowhere. I thought, perhaps it's just some weed, but amazingly, it kept growing, and there are flowers starting to develop. The best part is, I have not added any water or taken any particular care of it. I decided that I will have a look at it today. It has got pretty deep roots .......

Anyway, my thought was that it might die after a few days (plus such summery weather), but it didn't, but kept growing taller. Perhaps some will just take it as "it just happens", but I see this as a promise of God , like in Matthew 6 that talks about how God will care for the trees and birds, and provide.

²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^b]">[b]?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

When I look at this plant, I knew that it has gotten it's nourishment from the sun, and obviously the rain. And perhaps birds have come in to "fertilize" the pot of soil, and therefore, a plant has sprouted out. It is quite a sight.

But it really affirms my heart that if God will take care of the plants and birds of the air, how much God will care for us, because He loves us so much. Do you still have to worry. I read as well, that PROVIDENCE, comes from 2 Latin words - pro (Before) and video (to see). So when we talk about God's providence, it is saying that He sees all things beforehand and His sovereign arrangement of all things. Continue to trust in God's providence, even in our dryest moment, and at times when we can't see it. Look deep into your hearts and ask if your roots are rooted deep into God's promises and His Words.

Refuge......Where?

Ps 91:1-4, 9-12
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, He is my REFUGE and my FORTRESS
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart..................
If you make the Most High your dwelling - even the Lord, who is my refuge -
then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

May you find refuge in the Lord
Draw near to Him, and He provides that refuge.

REFUGE

Lost for words, Found in HIS hope

It has been a while. I've returned to this blog again and again, not knowing how to write the next blog, or maybe what to really write. So much has happened over the last month, but yet speechless (or wordless), not know how to really write down in words.

God has allowed certain things to happen for He knows the best for the situation. I have always taken on the promise of Jeremiah 29:11, and I thank God for this promise.

These are the words at the bottom of my heart....... which I find great delight in, because of the hope that it brings.

In my loneliness, YOU are there
In my loneliness, YOU draw me close to your heart
In the times of lost, YOU guided me
In the times of lost, YOU open the doors
In the midst of turmoil, YOU showed the way
In the midst of uncertainties, YOU gave me confidence
Most of all..........
In the midst of wanting to give up........
YOU encouraged me
YOU spoke to me
YOU held my hands
YOU held my tears
YOU wiped away the pain
YOU gave me hope
but I know that YOUR HOPE & CONFIDENCE is always there, it is ME that needs to make a decision. A decision to say ........
I am encouraged
I heard your voice
I hold your hands
I cry to you
I continued to carry on, because
YOU gave me HOPE.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Tonight's Dinner - Taste and see that it is good

It is interesting, but it's my first time blogging about food.........but still would like to share what I learn :) There is always something to learn.

3 days ago, I learned a new recipe from my work colleague to make quiche with egg & ricotta cheese. I have always made my quiche in the past, the chinese way (Egg & tofu). And me......being a cheese lover, could not resist the temptation to try.

That night, I made my first bacon and mushroom quiche.


It was so delicious that my housemate, another visitor to the house, finish about almost half the quiche, and i packed another quarter for my fiancé. for his lunch. It was so nice that the next day, he sms me after lunch to say that he wouldn't mind more of the quiche. The best part is that both my housemate and fiancé are both not quiche lovers. So now i've converted them to be quiche lovers :)

Anyway, being excited to want to try more different type of quiches, I decided that tonight's dinner will be quiche too. And below are the exciting faces as we try this prawn, mushroom and spinach quiche.











Alright......these are just the fun of cooking and eating.

But as I thought about it now, when it is so good, we remember the taste, and we'll go all way to try to re-create it, we'll put in all the efforts that is needed to make it. And I wondered, do we truly know and have tasted the goodness of God, that we remember it, and that we'll want to go all way to experience the goodness of God, and will make the effort to spend time so that we can truly experience His love and goodness.

I am not surprised that at times we can do all these just for food, but would we instead do it for God. I'm a food lover, but I want to be more of a God lover than food lover. I want to truly (a million times) taste the goodness of God that I will never forget, but will keep craving for it, to the extent that no matter what it takes to experience His love and goodness, I will do it.

Alright, just my little FOOD for thoughts :)

Am I a backslidder?

I'm sure at some stage of your life, you may have pondered over this question, and perhaps even wondered if you've already back-slided. I have, and many times, I have to come before God in repentance, because I have not grown. Someone once said to me and it is a challenge in my heart always ............ "from the time you stop growing in God, is the time you started to back slide in God."

The sermon on Sunday serves as a reminder for myself that I need to guard my life and heart, to make sure that I don't become complacent, and think that it won't happen to me.

Many years ago, when I was still a very young Christian, I remembered that I went through that stage of turning away from God. It started from "no desire" to get involved with God. I remembered I started to feel bored in life group, during worship, I fall asleep, I don't remember what's been taught in sermons or discussions. The best part is I can fall asleep, and wake up at the right time to say "AMEN" . Hmm........sounds familiar for some? Well, they were the signs of me falling away from God, and I thank God that at the end of that turning away, I choose to come back to God. I remembered that it was during one of the life group's worship session (in Singapore), I couldn't help myself but just kept crying, and there I had a vision.......I was falling off a cliff, and it felt like the falling was never ending, and then all of a sudden, I felt a thug on my hand, and something held me on. And I knew then, that God was and is holding on to me, and whether I will choose to hang on to God.

That was the question that stirred me to wake up from my back sliding. And that was when i made a decision "I will never want to walk away from God". This decision became a conviction. This conviction slowly got deepen over the years. I must say that constantly, in the earlier years, I still think a lot about turning away. But I am always reminded of this decision made, and the experience of that one night. Today, I still remember that very fateful and eventful night. It is amazing that God works in such a wonder. But it is still a learning process to keep strong in God. I do admit that in the difficult and challenging times, I did want to surrender and give in. But I thank God that I have always choosen to look to God. However, it is a reminder to myself again, I should never be complacent, but I need to turn back to God. It is God that I need to come back to. Never be hard hearted towards God; Man may fall and fail, but God can be trusted. That's the difference.

If you think you are slowly fading away, and drawing away from God. You (yes talking about you - who's reading this blog), need to take time to seek God, and allow God to speak to you. Jeremiah 29:13 " You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. "

One Christmas day ...........

One Christmas day, in 1995...........the angels rejoice and danced, cos many came to know the Lord, i was one of the privileged one.

Christmas has a special place in my heart, because it is the day that I gave my heart and life to Jesus.It was the start of a new life, and a start of a change of life. As the bible says, the old is gone, and the new has come. Looking back, i could still remember the moment, when i lift up my hand to say "yes, i want to receive Jesus into my life". Never would i have imagine that at that point, my life would never be the same again.

Looking back, for the last 13 years, I realise that God's grace is upon my life, time after time. God has never failed me in the last 13 years - of course there were times of discouragement, and frustrations, but I have come to witness that God's love never fails during those times as well. Even when I go through the valleys of life, I know that God walks through it with me.

I don't think I can spell out and list out every single testimony ........... I will never finish writing this blog. But below is my gratitude and love unto God

Once without joy; now filled with JOY (Psalm 16:11)
Joy not from the world, but Joy from God (Nehemiah 8:10)
Joy is a Gift from God, and
Joy is a gift I want to give back to God

God's love is amazing, and unspeakable (Jeremiah 31:3)
His love covers over all my sin, and (1 Peter 4:8)
His love continues to cover over my life (1 John 4:10)
His love is everlasting, and like Romans 8 says,
"Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ" (Romans 8:38-39)
His love is experienced in every moment of my life (Psalm 121:2-3)
His grace is deeper than the oceans can reach (2 Corinthians 12:9)
His hope is higher than the skies (Isaiah 40:30-31)
His mercy is wider than the horizons of the earth (Isaiah 55:8-9)
There is nothing than can separate us from God (Psalm 125:1)
Because He is every where, and He chooses to be with us. (Joshua 1:9)
God's love is never limiting (1 Corinthians 13:1-8)
Think beyond, and you'll see God's love a bit more every day (Psalm 103:11-12)
The relationship that you have with God, is one that you can enjoy
Enjoy it and be filled with the Holy Ghost.
I cannot say enough .......
I love you Jesus

Christmas is not just a time of gifts, friends, food, and Jesus birthday.... it is a reminder for me that my life was changed because of God's love for me. I cannot imagine what my life will be like if I have not come to know God's love for myself. Above all ........ the gift I have received, is not just for me, but is for all of you as well.

A Lifetime of LEARNING

After a night of tossing and turning, and trying to unblock my blocked nose, decided to wake up and spend some time in worship. After worshipping with the song "My hope", I was inspired to look at the goals I've set in 2008, and see what has been fulfilled, and what needs to be carried forward to 2009. As I started looking at all the goals of 2008, I realise that over the year, a lot has been achieved, but there's also a lot that still needs to be worked on.

As I started thinking through 2008, and planning for 2009, I came to a conclusion, that there is so much that has been learnt, and there is so much more to learn still. 2008 has been a year of steep learning. The climbing of the learning curve hasn't been easy, but it has been fruitful.

Let me spell out some learning curve, and what it has been for the year.......

Relationship with God - am never going to learn enough about who God is in my life. This year, it has been a humbling year to just come back to the basics to grow in a deeper relationship with God. There is so much more that I have to come to rely on God. It is so crucial, to keep understanding and pursuing the heart of God. It is because of this pursuing of His heart, that has kept me on through the trials of this year. One thing I know about the Heart of God for me ........ is that I need to be certain of His call upon my life, and be confident that as He has called, He will provide. It hasn't been an easy one, especially since there has been a few crisis point in my life this year that I have to keep coming back to be renewed of His call in my life.

Pastoral - this is always a growing challenge. To continue to love the people , and to continue to deepen the people's relationship with God. This year, it had been a year of stretching, running between life group, unit and sub-district leading. Coming up with innovative pastoral structure to challenge effectiveness. At the end of the day, I have to remind myself ............. it is people that I'm leading, not groups. Further, I am humbled by the very fact that everytime, it is by God's grace that I am still standing firm in God. This year of stretching has challenged me to continue to expand and continue to grow.

Operations Ministry - this has been one of the most exciting aspect. I've never been so involved in operations ministry until this year......... especially so with Events Mgt. Wow..... it's all i can say. Everything is new, everything is a learning point. All the events organised, whether good, bad, successful, or could be better.......... one thing that i gain, is that I have learnt another thing, and more so, I have learnt to rely and trust God. It is a joy to serve, and it has brought a deeper understanding of "the joy of the Lord is my strength". When you find the what the joy of the Lord is (pursuing the heart of God), it is such joy that brings you strength to keep doing what you do for God. Thanks to all the insightful thoughts and challenges from Mr C.Bee :)

Relationship - Been a challenge. A good one...........and a difficult one. But in all, a sweet one, after the painful process. That's why the Chinese saying "Go through the pain first, and you'll enjoy the sweetness of the pain after". Thanks to the humility and patience of the one who love me.

There is much more of course than what i've written here. But this is in a nutshell of 2008, so my point here is .......... don't stop learning. 2009 here we come, to learn, learn and LEARN.