HOW I MISS YOU........................

Today isn't the happiest day, it is one that is full of thoughts as I sent my parents off home. There is always that difficult feeling when you wave goodbye to someone you love. You know that you'll still see that person soon, but yet it is hard to just part for the moment. As usual, I teared as I see them step off to go back home, and as I continue with my life in Brissy.

I asked myself, this is not just an emotional tear, it is one of love, it is one that will miss the treasured moments. And I ask myself, do I also have the same sort of feelings and passion for my Father in heaven. As I love my parents so much, how much more do I love God? Do I cry when I don't meet with Him that day? Do I tear as I forget to spend time with Him? This really threw me to understand about deeper love for God. How much would I miss Him? I do miss Him when I haven't talk or spend time with God after a couple of days, but I pray and ask God, to help me to have a deeper passion for God, that I'll miss Him so much that I wouldn't even bare to leave and not spend time with Him.

I want to grow in this depth of my love for God. It should never be a moment that I don't treasure. As much as I treasure my life with my family, and the memories that we have together, I also want to treasure my time with God, and remember the goodness and faithfulness of Him in my life. As I catch up with a friend this afternoon, as I shared about my testimonies in ministries and families and etc........ I was again touched that God has done so much in my life, and that He has blessed me so much that I felt I needed to give thanks to God.

THANK YOU LORD!

Thank you for the Cross
Thank you for dying for our sins
Thank you for my family
Thank you for the friends around me
Thank you for the love and care from people around
Thank you for the joy
Thank you for the peace
Thank you for Han
Thank you for everything that I can enjoy in life

There is so much, I think this list can go on and on.........................Indeed there is nothing that can be compared to the greatness of God, that I am always amazed. I pray God, I'll never miss you, because of my passion that I would want to keep staying in the presence and love of God. Thank you again God.

"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. "

Psalm 86:11

This is my heart cry to God, that my heart will be an undivided heart towards Him, that I will obey Him with total obedience. It is important to ensure that our heart is fully given unto God, because we also learn that the heart is deceitful. What is our heart condition today? That was the question that God asked me today as I listen to the Word of God being preached.

God showed me a vision while I was praying............it was a vision of a cup that was very dirty on the inside, but looks alright outwardly. And what the Holy Spirit really prompted me is that no matter how nice or good you may look on the outward, God looks at what is in your heart today. For me, it was a wake up question.......as to what is my desire today? Is it God? Is it all committed to God?

When in today's world, there is so much that can fill the hearts of people - like career, relationship, money, cars, and so much more, how divided our hearts can be. It is so easy to be drawn away and it all depends on the decisions that we make day to day. Therefore to be able to conquer the wrong decisions we are all prone to make, the Word of God that we feed on daily will keep us in the right track. It is when I read God's word that I am reminded of my committment unto God. Therefore let us meditate on the Word of God day and night. Let the Word of God bring greater devotion and conviction to us.

PEACE of God

It's been a good break in Melbourne. Though it has only been a couple of days, but I have the time to just stay quiet within my soul to pray and ask God. Over the weekend, I had the opportunity with my family to drive up to Beechworth to look at the historical town. It is a long drive - we took about 5 - 6 hours each way. And that's when i realise that I wasn't a very good passenger seat person. I think it's better if I'm the driver.

Haha.........I laugh at it because even for short distances, I can't seat at the passenger seat without wanting to take control - ooh yikes........i think this is like some control freak spirit in me about driving. Haha and Han can testify of that.

Anyway, something that God laid within me as I thought through it a bit more, I like being the driver, and God asked me if I would give Him the wheel and feel confident that He will lead me to where He desires to. I realise that on my mouth, I would say yes, but yet in my heart, i think the conviction needs to be build deeper. What is wrong with me, I ask God, why can't I trust Him, and why am I finding it difficult to give Him full control. One thing that the Lord lay in my heart is "PEACE". Peace of God is upon us, as God has promise in

John 14:27........."Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

I find that I am troubled easily by the things of the world, and fearful of what can happen if I lose control. And I realise that God is wanting to mould my character and strength that I draw that peace from God alone, not from the things that I have control around. Even with the recent incidences that happened in my life, like with my career, I realise that God has His hands upon it, which I find it hard to understand, yet am amazed at how God knows what is best.

Just a quick testimony.........I went for a job interview recently with Missions Australia, and it all went well, but I didn't get the job. I wasn't feeling overly disappointed, but asked God where else would He open the other door. Left it with God, but a little uncertain.

Then I got a call from the manager who interviewed me, and said that I did well in the interview, but was met with strong candidates, and that's why I didn't get it. However, she offered me to apply for another position, and I was overjoyed with it. Though it's not even a guarantee for the position, but I knew that this is what God is telling me. Even when I don't see it possible, He can open the close doors, and if only I would persevere and trust Him, and know that PEACE He has is something that we can rely on. For me, this is a great learning curve, to understand this PEACE that God desires to give to us.

STRETCHING BEYOND

I'm sure many of us may have experienced muscle pull or ligament stretch. And have we ever thought how that can relate to our walk with God? Recently I had an experience where my ligament was been stretch on my back, and it was painful, and i felt like I am going to fall apart. But thank God for all the physios who will help to loosen all those stretched ligament.........

Anyway, it brought me to realise that in our walk with God, at times when we are being stretched or pulled to step beyond our normal comfort zone, there will be pain. Just like the pain i experience in my back, it is the same in our walk with God. But of course, God brings us through that pull and stretch, so that we could continue enlarging our capacity of "normal comfort zone" and that helps us to grow.

It is a painful process, but yet I can't deny that it will help us to grow. Recently, I shared with a group of students about the ingredients to GROWTH. And I pop 2 vitamins into the minds of these students - Vitamin F & Vitamin T (which is Faith and Thankfulness). And again looking at that, faith is required to help us to grow. Do we have faith that God will stretch us and help us to grow to the fullest potential? Or do we think that the stretch is too painful and we prefer to give up?

This faith we have in God is not just the saving faith, but it is the faith where Jesus said "Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains"........

Anyway, it is no doubt that we need to keep having faith in order to grow. Faith that God will lead us to His highest calling; Faith that God will draw out our highest potential for Him; And faith that God will deliver us from the "pain". Are we able to persevere in our faith until we see that pain overcomed, and our calling being fulfilled. It seems like the pain will always, continuosly be there, until the day Jesus brings us to His highest calling.

Praise God for the pain and sufferings...............................

"But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."

1 Peter 4:13

FAITH factor - RISK

It has been a fruitful Sunday. Despite the fact that I spent the whole morning preparing for Sunday Service chairing, I learnt a lot from God, and was challenged in my faith. I realise that I am always fearful of stepping out to try new things. And as I prepares for the chairing, something that was laid upon my heart was these words "STEP OUT IN FAITH".

I asked God what does He wants me to step out in? He said "many things"........and I pondered, and as I look at my life, I observe that many a times, I choose things that I am comfortable in doing, I move towards where my strengths are, and I volunteer my services in ways that I have always done so. And I realise that at times, I have missed the call of God upon my life because it is not my usual self to be doing what God has ask of me. And I struggle with it, and rationalize it, and just couldn't bring myself to respond.

As I hear the preaching of the Word of God this afternoon, something that resonates strongly in my heart is that I need to step out to respond in greater faith. I should not just remain in my comfort of what I am familiar with, I should not allow fear to stop me and I should step out and know that God will catch me. When there is fear, there is no faith; It is crucial to rise up in faith, so that I can grow in God. It wasn't just a revelation, but it became a conviction, that I should live by. That if I want to grow in God, I need to make some hard decisions to rise up in faith in God, and not let my fear cover me.

Faith is spelt as RISK............ I always never really identified with that. I know it, but it's not part of my life. I don't think I have taken much risks in my life, but I have learnt how to take calculated risks. I think there still needs to be wisdom applied as we step out in faith. However, these risks that we take should be God instigated. And as God lays it in us, we should take it on and rise up to the challenge of His call.

In the Presence of God

It has been a long time since i continued my blog in msn. I've had feedback that people are not able to access it.............so well, decided to change.

In the last two weeks or so........something that God has laid upon my heart - is about His Love, and what is His love, and why His love? It has always amazed me as a Christian and human being, that Christ's love is everlasting, and neverending. I wondered how that can happen when we as humans are so imperfect, and yet the love from our Father is everlasting.

I asked..........."Would God's patience, grace and love run out?" The answer is no, but if we choose to step out of His grace, then we will not experience it. It's like what King David says.........in Pslams 51:10-12, that he does not want to be cast out of the presence of God, and I thought, "Yes, I do not want to either." I then realise it is our choice, and it is our responsibility, and it is us who have to take that action. Many a times, we may just conveniently say that we are in the presence of God, and God is here, or even let's just enjoy the presence.

I figured that when King David makes that decision not to be cast out of the presence of God, it goes to show that it is not out of convenience. So what is the presence of God? It is just a sensation, feeling or why we need to be in His presence? If you are extremeley thirsty, and you just needed a glass of water to quench your thirst, and after a moment, you got that glass of water and drank it..........and you are so satisfied. That is what I will illustrate when you are in the presence of God. The hunger that you have, the emptiness, or tiredness, or thirst, is being fulfilled. When we are in the presence of God, but do not respond in faith to receive it, we will still be "thirsty". It is our choice to respond, it is our conviction and action to choose to be in the presence of God, and not just "float" on the presence of God.

What choice are we making daily? Are we making a decision that will keep us in the presence of God? I urge all of us, that we should choose to respond in faith about standing firm in the presence of God, don't just let that presence pass you by and you not responding to it. Have faith and act now.

This is my prayer to God:

Create in me a clean heaert, oh Lord
Renew a right spirit with me (2x)

Cast me not away
From thy presence oh Lord
And take not thy Holy Spirit from me
Restore unto me
The joy of thy salvation
And renew a right spirit
within me

This is a song that King David has written that express his heart felt thanks to God for not casting him away from the presence of God.