Sounds like a funny title, but that's how I felt. Yesterday, I resigned from my current job, and amazingly a weight seems to be lifted from my shoulders, and I felt relieved. I never realised how much burden I've been carrying in this job, and it made me realised that God has a purpose for this weight to be there, and for it to be lifted. It has been 6 months of trying to find a new job, and like i've shared before, it's amazing that God has not opened all the doors that I thought was good, because God has the best for me. But I just want to take this opportunity to thank God for many things over the 6 months, despite it being one of the most challenging times in my life.
I remember sharing with my sheep during shepherding, about my experience so far, I came to realise that God has done so much, that I haven't had time to sit and reflect, and thank God sincerely. I have learnt so much in growing in my leadership, and have allowed God to stretch me in my leadership. More so as well, to learn so much about what is integrity, and what is not, and even to come to see someone who demonstrates integrity is "detested" by others. It is like a battle between the righteous and unrighteous, and how much God allows the battle to happen, so as to strengthen the righteous, and cause the righteous not to be moved, but to stand firm on their grounds of integrity. As well, been involved in senior management at work has also open my eyes to the ugliness of poor managment of politics. I have been looking and observing and thinking, wherever there is people, there will be politics, and the challenge for a leader is how they will manage those politics, and how they can lead others to be there with them as well. It was appalling when I was exposed to the cruelty of human beings when they mixed professionalism and personal boundaries. This just lead to the downfall of management, and the outcome is poor management of politics, and of course people become hurt, angry and frustrated. It was even more heart breaking when you realise that the poor professionalism of a manager is hindered by unforgiveness in their personal life. This just made me wake up and be reminded that one cannot have unforgiveness, it will grow to become bitterness, and bitterness when not dealt with causes one to sin.
A part of me felt great injustice about many things that have happened, but i thank God that He has granted me patience and grace to not jump into dealing with injustice, but to leave the vindication to God. I believe that the righteous will stand and the unrighteous (no matter how big and powerful they might be now), they will fall. I have prayed and have clear directions from God that it's no point being stuck in the cycle and allow myself to become bitter about it all. Yes I was and am still hurt but yet I have chosen to forgive, and will not be critical about the whole thing, but rather, to still love. And I think that was what has set me free too, to just feel that sense of relieve, and that sense of "Thank God........I'm so glad I've finished this chapter with you".
Finally as well, I really thank God for the relationships that have been build in the workplace. The support, the network, and the care is something that I will not exchange for. Ministry is truly about people, and these are lives that God has placed in my pathways, and I believe that the relationship build will be one that will continue, so that God's love will continue to flow to them, through me. I pray that these relationships will be presevered, and I pray that God will continue to use me to be a blessing in the lives of others.
Yesterday when I was on my way home, the song that came up kept singing about the faithfulness of God........and indeed, God is faithful, and whether we have the patience to wait for His best timing for us.
** just to let people know too...........the new chapter of my working life will start again in September. That will be another exciting new journey, dealing with the bureaucrats of the government.
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