Am I a backslidder?

I'm sure at some stage of your life, you may have pondered over this question, and perhaps even wondered if you've already back-slided. I have, and many times, I have to come before God in repentance, because I have not grown. Someone once said to me and it is a challenge in my heart always ............ "from the time you stop growing in God, is the time you started to back slide in God."

The sermon on Sunday serves as a reminder for myself that I need to guard my life and heart, to make sure that I don't become complacent, and think that it won't happen to me.

Many years ago, when I was still a very young Christian, I remembered that I went through that stage of turning away from God. It started from "no desire" to get involved with God. I remembered I started to feel bored in life group, during worship, I fall asleep, I don't remember what's been taught in sermons or discussions. The best part is I can fall asleep, and wake up at the right time to say "AMEN" . Hmm........sounds familiar for some? Well, they were the signs of me falling away from God, and I thank God that at the end of that turning away, I choose to come back to God. I remembered that it was during one of the life group's worship session (in Singapore), I couldn't help myself but just kept crying, and there I had a vision.......I was falling off a cliff, and it felt like the falling was never ending, and then all of a sudden, I felt a thug on my hand, and something held me on. And I knew then, that God was and is holding on to me, and whether I will choose to hang on to God.

That was the question that stirred me to wake up from my back sliding. And that was when i made a decision "I will never want to walk away from God". This decision became a conviction. This conviction slowly got deepen over the years. I must say that constantly, in the earlier years, I still think a lot about turning away. But I am always reminded of this decision made, and the experience of that one night. Today, I still remember that very fateful and eventful night. It is amazing that God works in such a wonder. But it is still a learning process to keep strong in God. I do admit that in the difficult and challenging times, I did want to surrender and give in. But I thank God that I have always choosen to look to God. However, it is a reminder to myself again, I should never be complacent, but I need to turn back to God. It is God that I need to come back to. Never be hard hearted towards God; Man may fall and fail, but God can be trusted. That's the difference.

If you think you are slowly fading away, and drawing away from God. You (yes talking about you - who's reading this blog), need to take time to seek God, and allow God to speak to you. Jeremiah 29:13 " You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. "