The Plan of God

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

This passage Jeremiah 29:11-13, says so well how God has it all plan, and whether we'll choose to believe in Him, and know that He has the best for us. As humans, at times, I realise that we can't help it but we try to go with what we think is better for us, than to wait for God to show us what His best is for us. Especially if it is after a period of waiting. How much waiting can a human survive through??? I wondered........... Anyway, that's not my point, but I have been learning in the last 6 months, about waiting for God's plan. Even when I don't see it, to have faith that God will provide.

I've been looking for a new job for the last 6 months, sent in quite a number of applications for positions to work with youth and children. I have been wanting to change a job and industry focus, and have been praying, and didn't hear God say no, but did have peace to try out the different options. So here I am, in fact 90% of the jobs that I've applied for, called me in for interview, but well, none of it turn out successful. I rang all of them to get feedback, and it was all "You did really well, and you would have been the next in line, just that there was another person who was better." It came to a point that I wondered if I'm ready to move on, or even started to questioned my own ability. But well, now looking back I realise that God has a purpose in putting me through all those, and closing all those doors.

Recently, I've been given an opportunity in my current workplace to take on a senior role - to be in management. There was a bit of a "crisis", and my manager left. It was a huge impact upon me, because I have looked up to her so much, and her mentorship over me has taught me tremendously. I wanted to leave as well, but I had a prompting in my spirit to stay on to be the "salt & light" to the rest of the people in the team and workplace. I spend that 1 night (when everything happened), praying and asking God to show me why? Why me???? And God reminded me of one of my prophecies .......... "though others (even leaders) may go, but He will strengthen me to stand up in those times to lead". I cried before God, and said that I don't know how but just gave it all to Him. It came to this point that I know deep in my heart, that my only motivation to go to work is because God has called me.

Wow, that was a real revelation and challenge to my heart. But after a week of thinking through and praying, it was clear in my heart and mind that God has closed all those other doors very clearly, but because of my human desire, I kept on doing what I wanted. And when God took it all away, and showed me the "biggest" door He has opened, it just dawn upon me that God wanted to test me to see if I will still trust Him. Think about it ............. I have been searching for job for 6 months, and then all of a sudden, "BANG" the door was open, but it's the most unexpected door that God has opened.

Well, all I can say is that God's sovereign plan is the best. He will bring out the best in you and to you, if you will let Him. I have never felt so broken and weak before Him, but I guess it is in our contriteness that the greatness of God can be revealed. Praise God!!!

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. Ps 18:30

Gentleness

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Galatians 5:22-23

Gentleness, one of the fruit of the holy spirit.

Recently, I have been reading a book "Men are from Israel, Women are from Moab". It talks about the characteristics of Ruth & Boaz. And there was so much that I learnt. One of the things that really stood out to me is the characteristic of GENTLENESS in Boaz. It says that healthy women are attracted to gentle men. Despite the fact that the society may see gentleness as a feminine trait, but the Bible holds up men as the model of gentleness. As read in the different scriptures:

1 Thess 2:7 "As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, 7but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children."

1 Tim 3:3 " not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. "

2 Tim 2:25 "Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth,"

The book mentioned that "gentleness" is a character that God places a high value on, and just like Boaz, he has demonstrated his gentleness in how he treated Ruth although she is a "foreigner" on his land, not only did he not chase her away or humiliate her, but he told his men to take care of her and they were instructed not to be rude to her either. Only one with such gentleness will be able to shower such grace over others.

As I think about how much gentleness is seen as a weakness in the society today, it needs to be a perspective that has to be changed. Personally when I look at it, I realise that God is so faithful to grant me such a gentle man like Han. It has never occured to me that such character has got such great strengths, until I look deeper, then do I realise that there is so much beneathe that gentleness. The patience that he has shown me has taught me to show more grace and patience; The love he has given has made me want to love God's people more; The care he has showered me with has brought me to be more caring; The person he is has brought out the strengths in me. I am truly so blessed.

"Greatness lies not in being strong, but in the right use of strength." Henry Ward Beecher

One Life, One Love and One Heart

The lyrics of this song tells of my prayer to God...........


ONE LIFE, I LAY AT YOUR ALTAR
ONE LOVE, I HAVE WITH YOU
TOUCH ME AGAIN
FILL ME AS YOU HOLD MY OUTSTRETCHED HANDS
ONE WORD, YOU KNOW I WILL FOLLOW
ONE HEART, BROKEN TO YOU
USE ME AGAIN
YOUR MERCIES FOLLOW ME FOR ALL MY DAYS



When i heard this song, I was very touched by it, because it says of my heart so much, to want to give it all to God, and God alone. It was like a renewal of my love unto God again since my salvation.

That one life, one heart and one love is for God alone. Is it truly just for God, or is it for the things of the world. Where does your one life, one heart belongs? As for me..........my one life, one heart and one love belongs to the Kingdom of God. It is not about me, it is about God. I like what Ps. Jeff preached today, he said that it is not about you. That reminds me once again that it is not my achievements, or my skills, and etc....... but it is God's achievements, glory and it is His and all His alone.

This is a constant call and reminder to humility, that no matter how much and well you perform, it is not about you (or me), it is about God.

God is in control

Since I came to know Christ, it has always been evident to me that God is in full control, and He always know what is best. However, the human mind sometimes questioned whether God knows what is best. I'm not sure if any of you may have felt the same as I did, where in our heart, and logical thinking, certain things seem so clear to us why God shouldn't give or allow it to happen in our lives. And of course, as we wait, it didn't happen, and then we start to question if God truly knows what He is doing.

I have been reading the book of Exodus, and praying through it, just as we listen to the weekly expository sermons on Exodus. I am personally blessed by the hand of God over the Israelites, and it just brought me to a greater revelation about God's soverignty and the notion that HE IS the COMMANDER, IN CHARGE. I was reading the part when Moses and the Israelites were at the red sea, and at then there was no way ahead, and the people started to complain and get angry at Moses, and as Moses cry out to the Lord, there was the assurance that God will fight for them, and that God will be with them.

"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Exodus 14:13-14

It was clear that God has it all in control. Even when He chose to harden the hearts of the Pharoah, and allowed Pharoah and his army to pursue the Israelites. God allowed that to happen, but that's just because He is in control, and He will not let the Israelites perish in the hands of the Egyptians.

This whole story led me to think and ponder over my situation, where I've been anxiously and eagerly searching for a new job. There have been a couple of times that I thought and reasoned, that that's the perfect sort of job for me to learn and eventually use those skills for church full time ministry, and in my heart, prayed "according to my own will" that I'll get the job, and setting it like a condition to God. But when I look at it all now, I felt that I have been deceiving myself. And as well, have set myself on such high expectations, that when I didn't get any of those jobs, I wondered if I've done something wrong, and that's why God is not giving me the job "I desire". I learnt, it is more important to allow God to do what He knows is best, and to leave it in His control. He may have harden the hearts of those employers, but in His good timing, He will open the right door. I don't understand it myself at times, but can only come back to the basics of Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." It is just simply coming back to trusting God, even when I can reason it out with my mind.

Colossians 3:12-14

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever greivances you have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave. And over all these virtures, put on love which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Have we ever wondered why the last part was added in........about love binding all the virtues together?

Have we ever thought through why 1 Cor 13 was written............ "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Have we challenged ourselves to live out the 2 greatest commandment "to love God and to love your neighbours as yourself"

Have we ever tried Matthew 5:44............ "Love your enemies"

I'm sure we are not surprise why love has to be in the midst of everything, because love covers over a multitude of sin, and God is LOVE. Recently, it has been an ongoing thought upon my mind and heart that God's love needs to be demonstrated, and shown and shared to everyone that's around me. And how much of God's love do I have to be able to give that all in everything that I do. I have been put in positions and stages in life where I have learnt that it is not easy to love those that don't normally "fall in your comfort zone" to love. One of those things is to love the weaknesses of people. And not to judge the weaknesses of people, and not to correct the weaknesses of people - of course balancing that, is that we should still learn to encourage and remember to encourage with love, not with judgement and expectations. This testing is right in my face, with my colleagues, bosses, friends, and even my loved ones, I am stirred not to just judge those weaknesses, but to love them still for who they are, and encourage them with God's love.

God's love came with no condition, it is freely given, and freely shown. Are we able to demonstrate that same love. I cried out to God.............God help me to show your love to others. Forgive me of trying to love with my own capacity and own strength. Help me, humble me, and change my heart. Let the love of God flow from me, let people see, experience and be touched by God's love demonstrated through my faith and actions. Thank you Jesus. Amen.

Decisions.........

I am sure many of us have come to stages in life that we have to make some sort of major decisions, whether is it with regards to life, ministry, relationship, studies, career, and many other things. Have you ever asked what is it that you make your decisions base upon? Is it upon the foundations of God? or the foundations of your experiences?

Well, that is the challenge..........what sort of decisions are we making today. Of course not to say that even when you are deciding what to eat, you need to ask yourself if it is of God or of experience, but at least in the more significant decisions. Recently, I have been faced with the challenge of making decisions about my career. It is a wonder how monetary values can sometimes be so "inviting" than Godly values. Of course in the head knowledge, you know that you should go back to God and seek Him, rather than just look at the material gains. However, it's amazing how our mind can be tempted so easily. (haha........shouldn't say it's amazing, but rather I'm "ashamed" that my mind thinks of all these temptations). Anyway, I have been searching for a change in career, and I have been challenged to seek God, and allow Him to open the right doors. I have been to a few interviews, and still nothing has changed, and I wondered if God has a plan for me to stay on at where I'm currently at. And of course at the same time, with me wanting to leave, I've got my manager wanting me to stay, and offering me new opportunities to stay. It really then start to stir within my heart.......is this of God? But the other part of me really wants a change, and doesn't really want to stay on at where I'm at.

I have to come back to God constantly to ask Him to do His will, that it will be His timing and His will about whether I get a new job. It is hard, because many times, it is your desire that you are trying to please. Like I know that with me searching for a new job is because the current one doesn't satisfy my desire, and I'm tired of it, and frustrated with the normal politics of the organisation. But then the question is ..........is getting a new job God's will for me now? When I think of all these, I was led back by Jesus's example when He said that "His food is to do the will of God". And I have to ask myself, if that's the same motivation of mine? This really changed my perspective, that I have to submit it under God's will, and not my desire; and it needs to be base upon my Godly values, and not personal experiences.

What is it for you today? Are your decisions founded upon God's values or your personal experiences? Have you even considered God in your decisions? Or why are you making those decisions?

J-esus O-thers Y-ourself

For a long time, I have always lived with this framework of life, where Jesus is the Lord of my life, and it is always others that will come before myself. Even in the Scriptures, it says that "each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others" Philippians 2:4. And at where I am today, I realise that this framework of life has strengthened me to keep serving God and others.

I have been thinking about this framework a fair bit lately, and do realise that this is not just a framework for my Christian living, and daily living, but also a framework for my work. Recently in a class where everyone has to present their emerging framework, I struggled whether I should be preaching the gospel framework that I have and hold. I thought for a long time, and wondered if it will be accepted, or would I be marked down. A voice in me asked me this question "Why should I be afraid to share the gospel framework of JOY?" Why should I try to find a framework that fits into the world's systems? What is wrong with my personal framework?

I thought through it before the presentation, and felt led in my heart to write about my personal framework, and how the values in the Bible influences and form my framework to work. I hesitated about being outright in presenting about Jesus, but when I was in class, a classmate presented wholeheartedly on "Buddhism Zen", and I thought, oh.................I'm so ashamed that I didn't just step out to present "Jesus". And I prayed in my heart to ask God to help me...........and the next day, when it was my turn to present, I stepped out in faith, and presented "Jesus" in the framework of JOY, and also some other biblical values (like Body of Christ, and the two greatest commandments). To my surprise...........it was well accepted in the group of people that I presented to, and my lecturer was there too. They even commented on how amazing the framework of JOY is, and that was when I realise that I shouldn't be ashamed of Jesus in my life.

Well, this expereience taught me that I should not be hiding the life of Jesus in me. It is a major part of my life, and I should not be ashamed of it. Whether I get praises or persecution from preaching the Gospel, I should "press on" like Paul, and not stop sharing about this wonderful Jesus in my life. Be it in the secular world of studies and work, Jesus should never be just kept in my heart, Jesus needs to be shared to the people out there.

As I look back, I do thank God that in my workplace, everyone knows that I am a Christian, and that I have shared with them my love for God and for people, and my committment to God and church, however, I realise that a lot more needs to be done. Many of my colleagues and managers have come to me and said that I have an amazing strength to persevere in the work that I'm doing, I should have outwardly proclaim that it is God who has empowered me to do so. It is because of His love that I'm still doing what I do.

I just want to encourage all of us that we should not be hiding the "Joy" from people around you. They are the ones who witness your lives day in and day out, let them see Jesus in and out of you, and be bold to share it with them.

I'm Reaching For Your Heart

The hunger and thirst for God just needs to get deeper and deeper. That's my conclusion, if not, we'll get complacent at where we are at in our relationship and walk with God. In the last 4 weeks or so, I've been fasting, and praying and seeking God. One thing that God has not failed to reveal to me in the last 4 weeks constantly, is the need to draw back to God. There is a need to grow in our hunger for more of God in our lives.

As I fasted and sought God, I come to realise that the hunger that I go through (spiritually), can only be filled with the Spirit of God, can only be filled by the power of God. I asked God daily to come and fill me, and the hunger just keeps growing to want to know God more, to want to spend more time with God, to want to just draw so close to Him. I can't explain the feeling, but it's like I want to give up everything in my life, to just want to be with God. I have come to a point at work, in life, that I am not seeing the value of what I do in life, that I just want to be closer to God.

I want to worship God all my life. I just want to look to God. I realise that it isn't that easy to just give up everything to just be with God. And I cried out, and asked God, I want to reach out for His heart, I want to be closer to Him, and I am not satisfied at my relationship with Him. I just feel that there is so much more for me to come to know and worship Him.

I'm reaching for Your Heart
You hold my life in your hands
Drawing me closer to you
I feel your power renew
Nothing compares to this place
Where I can see you face to face
I worship you in Spirit and in truth

Truly the lyrics of this song, tells of my heart......... that I want to be where He is, as He draws me closer, it is like He is there face to face. There is nothing that can be compared to where God wants to draw us to. So close that we can smell and breath His breathe......so close that we can feel and touch the heart beat of God. That is my heart cry to want to be with God. What is your heart cry today? How much of us would cry out for God, to reach out to touch His heart. Don't let it be a lip service today, but a heart service unto God. That we want to connect heart to heart with God. Let it be His power that will renew you. Let it be His Spirit that will fall afresh on you.

Acts 2:25-28

David said about him: " 'I saw the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will live in hope, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.

The Test of Faith

Have you ever wondered why our faith needs to be tested?

Faith that's tested, is fatih that has been stretched. And the real test comes when everything doesn't turn out the way you expects it to. In the last 2 months or so, I don't know if it is a test of my faith or not, but I sure know that my faith has been stretched, and I can still feel that God is stretching it further. I've come to the point that every thing that I go through, I feel so helpless, and drowning, that I only find comfort in coming back to God and relying on Him. In ministry, in work, in relationship, in studies, in all of my life. I came to that point of feeling so "small", that only 1 thing will work, and that is to come back and seek God.

I have tried doing it all, and solving it all with my strength and knowledge, but am too tired doing it all, that I felt, there is only 1 way, and that is to come back to seek God. Recently, on a Friday that I needed to preach in a unit evangelistic meeting, I felt so "oppressed" and "strangled" before the meeting, that I had the thought to back out and not go. It was so bad I couldn't focus at work, and I just felt to pray. I spend about almost an hour before the meeting just praying. It brought me peace after that, and all I knew then is that I need to rely on God.

And then recently at work as well, been a few challenges, and then faced some more failures in trying to seek new jobs, and came to that point that I can only continue on in my current job because of God's grace in my life. Again I was pointed back to rely on God, and not doubt God in what He's doing in my life. The thought that crosses my mind is "why does it seem so easy for others to just get a new job, and so hard for me?" I was upset with God for a short moment, but then was reminded that He knows the best for me. So i didn't continue to dwell on it.

To add to all that, I had the dilemma of studies, wondering whether I am being foolish to continue my studies this semester, or to postpone it. I went to class, felt such a turmoil in me, to the point that I thought I was going crazy. Wow, I felt then again, I need to rely on God. I wondered what is happening. I spent some time just crying out to God and allowing His Spirit to release that oppression in me.

And finally, ministry .............. but I know I didn't need to go through all that to know that it is about relying on God again. Well, faith tested will emerge stronger. I'm sure God is growing my faith in Him, to rely on Him more, and to trust even when things ahead are overwhelming. In my heart, I prayed and told God, I'll never give up on Him. Though outwardly I am pushing to "swim to the surface", I know that inwardly, God is encouraging me that He is the one that's pushing me. How comforting a thought to know that God is the one that's at the end. I know that this test will break something in me to the point that I can only come back to God. Everything that I seem to know to rely on is not there, except God..........that's how I feel.

I wondered how Job felt when he went through all those testings. When I am not focused in God, it will be as if God has left me completely in the situation that I am in, yet I know that is not true, because God cares, and He cares enough to make sure that I remember how to come back to rely on Him. This day, if you are reading this, I'm not sure how much of it makes sense to you, but I want to say that God wants you and I to know "He is there, waiting for us to fall back and lean on Him."

The Amazing Creation of God

Well, what could you say.....................when I saw my beautiful niece born, and the lovely face, and active hands and feet, i don't know what to say. I could only look in awe at how beautiful the creation of God is. I never could imagine that such a cute thing comes out from the mummy's tummy, and that it is so perfect that the human mind is not able to comprehend how it all began. I don't know if you have ever wondered................i seldom did, but when I look at my niece, it just really took my breaethe away to realise that God has it all so well planned, to know how to make His lovely children. That really put my mind at ease to know that God knows it so well, right through to every single detail and it is one that no one could even work out how it's done. Only God knows. And that brings me to the assurance that God has my life all in plan, and if only I could trust God completely, to leave Him to make me to be more perfect. Why should I have to worry, if God can create us right from the beginning to be so perfect, that God could change and mold us to be even more Christlike. However, it is for us to trust in Him, and for us to let Him do what He desires in us.

I'll not say any further, but enjoy the beautiful creations of God.

Psalm 139:13-18

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because

I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be.
How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake,

I am still with you.

EXTRAVAGANCE

"Let's offer an extravagant worship unto the Lord."

Extravagance seems to always go with giving. And it's not just giving as a tip, but it is giving more than what you can give.

I was reading about the lady who broke the perfume bottle (vase) and poured it over Jesus.............I was really touched by her act, and God spoke in my heart, when was the last time that I broke the vase for Him?

Then Mary took about a pint[a] of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. ..........."Leave her alone," Jesus replied. " It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me." John 12:3, 7-8

It presented a challenge to my giving unto the Lord. I believe that it is not just about giving a lot that says extravagance, but it is the motivation of giving of all that says extravagance. We can have a lot, but only give a little, but yet we can have little and give a lot.

Mary, she was willing to give up her most expensive possession to Jesus, and choose to anoint Jesus with the perfume. According the the days then, it was crazy to do that. The perfume was worth more than a year's wages, and she knew that she would not have anything after she gives it to Jesus. One would have thought that maybe Mary could have just dab a few dab of the perfume on Jesus, but yet, Mary "BROKE HER VASE", and pour it all...........ALL.............to Jesus. Wow, she didn't even hesitate, but she gave it all. She probably faced a lot of criticisms then, where people probably criticised her for her waste and not being wised.

But hey.............hang on, look at what Jesus said. He's very pleased, and even rebuked those who criticised her. I believe the heart of Jesus is not saying that we need to give "a lot" before He is pleased, but He sees our heart even as we give. And I'm sure Jesus felt really blessed at that time.

This brings me to the question of Extravagant Worship unto the Lord. How much are we giving it to the Lord, in our serving, in our worship, in our love to Him. God doesn't just want us to be doing extravagance, but God wants that extravagance to outflow from our hearts unto Him. When we serve Him with extravagance, it is knowing that we do ministry to our very best, and even more, not for the sake of trying to outshine anyone, but for the sake of Christ. That really brings me to ask myself, am i serving God with my gift fully? Even when I think I've done my best, am I willing to go extra and do even better than my best? That's when I really have to break the vase.

It seems like a high standard of excellence when I say to do even better than my best. But when I think about it, if we only set it to the best, then, we'll only aim at a certain level to reach the best, and that's what we already can do. But when we aim to do even better than our best, we reach higher, and that's when we know that in our own capacity and ability, we can't do it, and it is for God that we try, and for us to rely on God even more.

I realise that I need to change my attitude about just doing my best. I think sometimes, when we say that it is my best that I can offer, it felt like it's an excuse to only grow up to a certain level. But I'm challenged to do even better than my best, so that I can always offer even more unto God, that it will not just be my best, but it will be my extravagance unto God.

An eagle will not soar high if they think they can only fly above the valleys and mountains. However, we see that the eagle has flown to the ends of the earth, it goes to show that they always keep trying to reach as high. I want to soar like an eagle, that will touch the heavens. Would you?

The Pursuit of God

Chasing after God is always something that I personally think is a mystery. Just imagine, how do you chase after something you cannot see, and what can motivate one to keep chasing after something that you do not physically see. It amazes me how one can be pursuing so wholeheartedly, what is it that stirs them, what inspires them, and where did the energy come from?

One passage that I read, and have always been challenged by is what Paul stated in Philippians 3:7-8

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ"

When I look at Paul's heart, it stirs within me the conviction and devotion that Paul had. I become really challenged that am I considering all things in my life uncomparable to the knowledge of Christ in my life? Is Christ so important to me that I will chase and pursue after Him, and not be afraid of losing anything else in my life. As I meditate on this scripture even more, it stirs me to see that it is not just everything I have, but whatever was to my profit, it is not comparable to knowing Christ Jesus. It is like giving up all your life, to just come to know God.

"Am I willing to give up my life to come to know Christ deeper?"
"Am I willing to give up my comfort to come to know Him more?"
"Am I willing to give up my work to serve God more?"
"Am I willing to give up my friendship, relationship to just seek His heart deeper?"

These are questions that I think will be a challenge to answer, how much am I willing to give up to just know God more. Paul is willing to give it all up to just seek God wholeheartedly, am I able to live up to Paul's convictions.........I am challenged, because when I look at it, I don't know if I'm ready to give it all up just to know Christ deeper. It felt like I want the cake, and I also want to eat it. I want to know Christ deeper, but I also want to still keep all I have. But I realise that all these other things that I have in life distracts me a lot from coming to know Christ deeper. And maybe that's why God says so clearly that you should only be serving one master.

When I look at my life, no wonder I seem so far from where God is calling me to, because I don't know Him deeper, and that's just because there have been so much other focus in my life - work, relationship, ministry, and that it has been so hard at times to just prioritise to say that it is just for God alone. As I prayed more, I am just so much more convicted that my purpose in life is to pursue after God alone. The pursuit of God should be one where one runs with the perseverance............just as how Hebrews 12:1-2 says:

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders, the sin that so easily entangles, and run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

This year, this is my motto - "to pursue and seek after God, and not just do what I have to do" I want to grow in my conviction that my pursuit of God can be reflected in how everything is considered rubbish, only unless it brings an increase towards more of Christ. I pray that God will lead me to more of Him in my life. Hallelujah!!!

It is for HIM alone

It has been a while since I last put in an entry. Personally, it has been a busy start to the new year, but also one that is exciting and challenging. I have actually so much to share that I do not know where to start from...........

One conviction that God has really laid upon my heart recently as I prayed for my goals for this new year, is that I want to put God first above all else, where nothing else comes before God. It is a constant struggle, not that I have not known, but to put it into action in all areas of my life. I tend to find that when I get busy with work, ministry, I tend to have thoughts to give God a miss that day. And until the end of the day, when I pray and chat with God, I realise that ..........opps, I forgot to spend time with God that day. Being honest, it has happened to me a few times, and I really felt so guilty about it, and that's when I questioned myself, "how important is God to me, that every morning when I wake up, He is the one that I want to look for, not my manager, or my sheep, or my close ones."

I looked at it, and challenge myself that God should be the number 1 of my life, in my work, my ministries, and my relationships with different ones. I have always made this prayer, that God, help me to put you first. But as I look back, it has only been a prayer, and the struggle still remains. And I'm at that point..........God it can't stay that way any longer, but I want to do it, where you are the first one that I think about in all aspects of my life.

I placed upon myself that it is not just a need to draw closer to God, but it is a desire. Such a great desire that nothing else could take that place. I committed it to God the other day, all that will take that place of His, and lay it before His feet. I want to do it like how Paul does it......... where he considers his life worh nothing to him, that if only he may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given (Acts 20:24). I really pray that I can do it, where all that is in my life is worth nothing to me, but what is more precious, is my life and purpose in Christ. It is my heart cry that our achievements, relationships and ministries are not what we are living for, but it is Christ that we are living for.

This is only one of which that God has spoken to me about...................I pray that all that is reading this, will catch the same heartbeat. Let it be Christ that we are living for.

An instrument for Noble purposes

"In a large house, there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay. Some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master, and prepared to do any good work."

2 Timothy 2:20-21 is one of the verses that I've been memorizing, and as I memorize more of it, one thing that clearly stuck within me is "be an instrument for noble purpose, made holy, useful to the Master", and I started asking myself, am I one that is an instrument for noble purposes?

I believe that I am still in the midst of being sanctified and made holy by God, but I realise that there is my part to play. The verse states that if a man...... "IF" is being used, like it is commanding us that it is our choice that we need to cleanse ourselves from impurity. And I then realise that it is not just God sanctifying me, but it is also my choice to respond with faith. And I just want to thank God for being so patience and faithful to me.

A testimony......I have been facing challenges at work, and because of the ethical dilemmas that we are in, I started to have really bad attitudes, and was becoming negative, wanting to give up. The team that I'm leading, naturally picks up from me and also developed bad attitudes and negative feelings towards all that is happening. And I realise that my influence on the team is wrong. As I reflect back, I realise that I have allowed the enemies to use me. And the prompt in my heart is that "despite how bad the situation may be, I should continue to reflect Christ, and continue to shine the love of Christ." The Holy Spirit prompts become stronger and stronger each day as I pray and seek Him, and that's when I know that I have sinned before God. I prayed and repented before God.

And my heart was.........God, use me for noble purposes, use me in this workplace, change me so that people can see Christ in me. I prayed and asked God to really help me, cos it is really seeing beyond what people has done, and continue to lead others beyond what is impossible. I realise that for me to lead my team, I need to rise above the circumstances, and I need to see beyond the negativity. I made a decision to be positive and encouraging instead. I decided that I will make a difference in the workplace. I went in to work last week, and made a note that I will not be negative about whatever that is happening, but rather point people in a direction to look at the positives, and to celebrate. Slowly, people started to ease off the negativity. It is still lingering, but people are choosing to look at other positives that has happened and will be happening. And I even had the opportunity to share with some of my colleagues about Christ, and as well, even just encouraging them in God, and letting most know that I'll be praying for everyone of them, and the situation.

It is not like any amazing thing that has happened, but yet, it is the choice that one made.........whether we want to be use for noble purposes? And if so, we have to make sure that our hearts are pure before God. God will demonstrate His faithfulness, but we need to keep our lives right before God.

** For all those working out there........ what is the difference you can make in your workplace today? Is there some actions and attitudes you have that could draw others towards God? Think about it, it's worth it when we commit it to the Lord, and He will bring us to share with our colleagues. For me, I had the opportunity to share with my manager, and even encourage her. It probably wasn't easy, but God opened the door. God can do it for you too.

Certainty of God's Promises

Have we ever asked ourselves what are the promises of God? and whether God's promises of the past is also promises to us. It is amazing when I think about it, that God has done so much for people in the past, and how come in my life, and today's world, we find it so hard to claim all that God has promised?

As I thought more, some thoughts brought me to grow in my faith in God, and trusting in God, and His promises. One of it is the everlasting nature of God, the God who never changes, who is the same yesterday, today and forever. When I ask myself what does it mean when God never change, it dawn upon me that it means...........whatever He has done in the past for people, He can do it for us today as well. And it is really about us trusting and having certainty in His character. Not just upon the promises, but it is upon God that we trust and seek. We seek the giver, not the blessings.

Something else that also came to mind is that we should seek the heart of God. And when we seek His heart, we will know His desires. Many times, we ask God to fulfil our desires, but it is only when we delight in Him, that He will give us the desires of our heart (Psalms 37:4). And I realise that I have been lacking in seeking God's desires, but rather, I've been asking God to fulfil my needs, and my lack. That I feel so ashamed of myself that I'm not sensitive to want to minister into God's presence. I asked myself why am I seeking so much for the blessings and the fulfillment of the desires on my heart..........I could only see "pride" and "selfishness". This really challenged me, not just to see my needs met, but to see that God's will be done.

Recently, I was pushed to my max at work that I started to break down, and when I talk to God, I realise that my attitude have been "God, why don't you meet this need of mine". I felt I have become so inward and self focused about my own need that I didn't want to hear about other people's need, and I became indifferent towards others. I felt so ugly about my own attitude that I felt I needed a slap on myself to wake up. The break down was good because it helped me to realise that I need to humble myself to seek God, and not just my needs have to be met...............I hated my negativity, hated my frustrations and anger, and struggled with pride. I just came to God and said "God, renew me. I cannot go on this way and still be a salt and light to the people around me".

That's when I realise that I need to claim God's promises in my life, that I need to know that God will provide in His timing, and not just because I have a need to be met. At the same time, it is to be sure that His timing is the best, and not just what I want. I said to God, I want to be certain, I want to know His promises, and I want to allow His power to flow through my life. When I came to understand this, I felt a peace come upon my heart, and though I still am in the midst of getting through it all, I ask God to continuously look to Him, others, and then myself. I said that I do not want to just be focus about my need being met, but I want to be focus that I am doing God's will.

My focus for the rest of this year..................to place my hope in God, and this will be the anchor of my convictions before God. That it is in Him alone that His will for my life will be fulfilled In Him and through Him.

"Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged.

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain,"

Hebrews 6:19

Turn Your Other Cheek

It is awfully hard when Jesus tells us to turn our other cheek to our enemies even after they have slappped us on one. I wonder where do one find that sort of strength to forgive our enemeies. This has been one of those commands, which you know very well that it is what God desires, and you very well understands it, but yet it is so hard to carry it all out. Recently in life, I have been challenged by the fact that it is not easy to love your enemies. Situations in life have put me in a spot to ask myself, where should I stand when there is unfairness and injustice shown, and how people have been hurt by the unfairness and injustice. I reacted with anger in my heart, and formed judgement towards those who displayed the injustice.

Outwardly, it all seems nice and fine, but i know in my heart (and only God knows), that time and time again, I had anger in my heart towards all that has happened. I struggled, and time and time, I have repented before God, but things just don't get any better, and it just seems to be greater injustice. I found it hard, to turn my other cheek and be slapped with injustice. However, God has been reminding me..........that vindication is His, and I should not have anger. Day after day, it has been just that prompting in my heart, from the Holy Spirit, to forgive, to have peace.

It is hard, especially when outwardly you can't really express it out, and I just find myself so helpless. I have been meditating on the verse - Matthew 5:38-44........

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"

This is my prayer before God, to keep my heart pure, to keep my attitude right, and indeed, to truly forgive those who may bring injustice, because God has first forgiven us.

The Confidence is in God alone

Personally for me, the rising of the sun shows how confident we can be in God, because it never fails to rise every morning. I believe that's how God can help us to have that confidence in Him, that every day, we can rise with that confidence in Him.

As I grow up, one thing that I have picked up is that my confidence (many a times), comes from my experiences in doing the thing over and over again. I am one who is usually lacking in confidence when I have to pick up something new to do. I am always awestruck at people who seem to be so confident, and always never fearful of the new things that they need to do. I take a long time to think through the new things that I need to do, before I will take that step out and do something about it. And yet looking at people, I gazed and wondered, where do they find that sort of strength to be so confident to be out there.

One of my weakness is my lack of confidence with people and public.........I know everytime when I have to address the public, and people, be it at work or in ministry, I go through a whole lot of turmoil and butterflies within me, that I'll come to the point of prayer and say to God, "I really don't have the strength to do it, but only you can do that in me, only You, can take me through the moments". As I look at it from time to time, this relying on God has helped me to understand a lot more how come confidence comes from God, and how can we have confidence in God, and why we as humans struggle in this lack of confidence.

2 verses that really strengthens me.................

"for the Lord will be your confidence, and will keep your foot from being snared."
Proverbs 3:26

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we ask of him." 1 John 5:14

For all of us out there (including myself), when we have that thought that I don't think I'll be able to do it, or I can't do a good enough job than another person.................rebuke that thought, and pray for the confidence to be placed in God, not on your past experiences. It is God that will take you through, not your past experiences. No matter how well or badly you have performed in life, in the past.............take it as a learning curve. But remember it is God that you rely on, not on what you have or haven't done. I am sure that God, when we seek His will in all that we do, be it studies, work, or even ministry, He will honor it.

grow......Grow......GROW

I have this voice in me that keeps telling me, it is time to grow, it is time to expand, and it is time to enlarge. And daily when I seek and speak to God, one thing that really struck me is my desire to grow, not just physically and naturally, but spiritually.

"Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities."

Isa 54:1-3 is what God laid upon my heart. I ask God, what does He wants me to stretch in? I already feel so stretch, can I stretch more? I pray that I can go on higher, not because I haven't got a choice, but because it is God's will. As I rise to the challenge to lead a bigger bunch of people, I realise that everything else that I use to do with a smaller group has to change. The perspective and even the way..............it is a challenge. When we grow, we move out of our comfort zone, and sometimes it is nicer to just remain in our comfort zone. That is my challenge, to grow and step out of the box that I have always put myself in to be comfortable.

I have been praying and asking God, why has He put me in the position that I am in, be it in ministry or work, I feel very stretched in the aspect of having to lead............and not just lead in how I have always done so, but in new ways, and in "uncomfortable" ways. Sometimes, it is such uncomfortness that will help us to rely on God more, and to draw from Him more.

There has been so much happening in my life that has taken me out of my comfort zone. I am challenged ethically, and as well to stand with integrity, that it is really causing me to ask myself, where I will choose to stand. It is not normal decisions that you will make, but it is one where because of your faith and your convictions in God, that you know you need to make those decisions. Such stretching really test your character and it is amazing when you choose to come before God and surrender it before Him.

All of these kind of remind me that God has called me to be that plumbline of truth, one that will hold fast to His standards and hold with that spirit of integrity and honesty before Him. I think I will choose God's ways, but it is really going to be challenging as it will require me to give up some things which I know is uncomfortable to give up. I can only pray that God will continue to guide me. Let it be stretched...............Stretched for Jesus, and let your character be tested as you "stand trial" before Jesus. Let's stand for the Word of Truth.

HOW I MISS YOU........................

Today isn't the happiest day, it is one that is full of thoughts as I sent my parents off home. There is always that difficult feeling when you wave goodbye to someone you love. You know that you'll still see that person soon, but yet it is hard to just part for the moment. As usual, I teared as I see them step off to go back home, and as I continue with my life in Brissy.

I asked myself, this is not just an emotional tear, it is one of love, it is one that will miss the treasured moments. And I ask myself, do I also have the same sort of feelings and passion for my Father in heaven. As I love my parents so much, how much more do I love God? Do I cry when I don't meet with Him that day? Do I tear as I forget to spend time with Him? This really threw me to understand about deeper love for God. How much would I miss Him? I do miss Him when I haven't talk or spend time with God after a couple of days, but I pray and ask God, to help me to have a deeper passion for God, that I'll miss Him so much that I wouldn't even bare to leave and not spend time with Him.

I want to grow in this depth of my love for God. It should never be a moment that I don't treasure. As much as I treasure my life with my family, and the memories that we have together, I also want to treasure my time with God, and remember the goodness and faithfulness of Him in my life. As I catch up with a friend this afternoon, as I shared about my testimonies in ministries and families and etc........ I was again touched that God has done so much in my life, and that He has blessed me so much that I felt I needed to give thanks to God.

THANK YOU LORD!

Thank you for the Cross
Thank you for dying for our sins
Thank you for my family
Thank you for the friends around me
Thank you for the love and care from people around
Thank you for the joy
Thank you for the peace
Thank you for Han
Thank you for everything that I can enjoy in life

There is so much, I think this list can go on and on.........................Indeed there is nothing that can be compared to the greatness of God, that I am always amazed. I pray God, I'll never miss you, because of my passion that I would want to keep staying in the presence and love of God. Thank you again God.

"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. "

Psalm 86:11

This is my heart cry to God, that my heart will be an undivided heart towards Him, that I will obey Him with total obedience. It is important to ensure that our heart is fully given unto God, because we also learn that the heart is deceitful. What is our heart condition today? That was the question that God asked me today as I listen to the Word of God being preached.

God showed me a vision while I was praying............it was a vision of a cup that was very dirty on the inside, but looks alright outwardly. And what the Holy Spirit really prompted me is that no matter how nice or good you may look on the outward, God looks at what is in your heart today. For me, it was a wake up question.......as to what is my desire today? Is it God? Is it all committed to God?

When in today's world, there is so much that can fill the hearts of people - like career, relationship, money, cars, and so much more, how divided our hearts can be. It is so easy to be drawn away and it all depends on the decisions that we make day to day. Therefore to be able to conquer the wrong decisions we are all prone to make, the Word of God that we feed on daily will keep us in the right track. It is when I read God's word that I am reminded of my committment unto God. Therefore let us meditate on the Word of God day and night. Let the Word of God bring greater devotion and conviction to us.